Balls, Balls and More Balls.
Balls are fun. You get to kick them around and whack them and squeeze them and dive on them. No, not those balls, silly. Soccer balls! Soccer is awesome. Why, you ask? I'll tell you why.
Why do I like soccer? I like soccer because men run around in tiny white shorts and show off their well defined legs. I like it because they grunt and grab one another and turn into animilistic cavemen. Why do they turn into cavemen? I don't know. It's just a ball, jeez. Speaking of balls, balls are fun to hurt and I'm sure someone is going to pay for this...wait, that's not the right sort of balls I'm supposed to be talking about. Cavemen, right.
What's with all the throwing and growling and snarling? Soccer is supposed to be fun!
Why would you want to play horsey when you can play with those wonderful balls instead? Unless it's practice for squeezing those other balls. The ones we're not talking about.
Back on topic. Soccer builds teamsmanhip and that's always a good thing, right? It teaches you to trust in your team mates and what's a team game without trust? Soccer totally builds on positive aspects! Although, I wonder if the player who doesn't get passed the ball feels less trustworthy than the one who does. That might be discouraging. But I'm not here to talk about the negative aspects, I'm here to talk about why soccer is the most amazing game on the planet.
Soccer also teaches people how to dance!
Add in the crowds cheering and you've got singing, dancing around...what can be bad about that? It's a team exercise that incorporates two forms of work outs! And let's not forget that dance builds on stamina and rhythm. Both good things. I'm sure someone in the crowd will be able to play an instrument of some kind, too. Then you can have a beat to dance and sing too, making it even more fun!
But, soccer also teaches serious things too. For example, it teaches us that it is wrong to steal and if you do steal karma will bite you in the ass.
We all know that stealing is very wrong and soccer reinforces that and helps teach young children morals and instils this in them for future reference. This is obviously a very good thing and produces more positive traits in people.
That's not all, though. No. It also teaches you how to defend yourself.
And who wouldn't want to know how to defend their selves? If I'd have just played soccer I could have skipped the five years of self defence classes and learned so many other skills simultaneously! I'll have to remember to remind people that soccer is the way forward in self defence.
These are just a few of the many reasons why soccer is the most wonderful game to ever have been invented on this Earth. I'm here today to encourage you to go out and try this amazing game for yourself. Bring your family and friends and teach them all about the many things that soccer has to offer. You wont regret it!
As for me? Now that I have informed you all about this amazing creation I'm going to put down my soccer balls and find some of those other balls that we didn't talk about.
And hurt them.
Why do I like soccer? I like soccer because men run around in tiny white shorts and show off their well defined legs. I like it because they grunt and grab one another and turn into animilistic cavemen. Why do they turn into cavemen? I don't know. It's just a ball, jeez. Speaking of balls, balls are fun to hurt and I'm sure someone is going to pay for this...wait, that's not the right sort of balls I'm supposed to be talking about. Cavemen, right.
What's with all the throwing and growling and snarling? Soccer is supposed to be fun!
Why would you want to play horsey when you can play with those wonderful balls instead? Unless it's practice for squeezing those other balls. The ones we're not talking about.
Back on topic. Soccer builds teamsmanhip and that's always a good thing, right? It teaches you to trust in your team mates and what's a team game without trust? Soccer totally builds on positive aspects! Although, I wonder if the player who doesn't get passed the ball feels less trustworthy than the one who does. That might be discouraging. But I'm not here to talk about the negative aspects, I'm here to talk about why soccer is the most amazing game on the planet.
Soccer also teaches people how to dance!
Add in the crowds cheering and you've got singing, dancing around...what can be bad about that? It's a team exercise that incorporates two forms of work outs! And let's not forget that dance builds on stamina and rhythm. Both good things. I'm sure someone in the crowd will be able to play an instrument of some kind, too. Then you can have a beat to dance and sing too, making it even more fun!
But, soccer also teaches serious things too. For example, it teaches us that it is wrong to steal and if you do steal karma will bite you in the ass.
We all know that stealing is very wrong and soccer reinforces that and helps teach young children morals and instils this in them for future reference. This is obviously a very good thing and produces more positive traits in people.
That's not all, though. No. It also teaches you how to defend yourself.
And who wouldn't want to know how to defend their selves? If I'd have just played soccer I could have skipped the five years of self defence classes and learned so many other skills simultaneously! I'll have to remember to remind people that soccer is the way forward in self defence.
These are just a few of the many reasons why soccer is the most wonderful game to ever have been invented on this Earth. I'm here today to encourage you to go out and try this amazing game for yourself. Bring your family and friends and teach them all about the many things that soccer has to offer. You wont regret it!
As for me? Now that I have informed you all about this amazing creation I'm going to put down my soccer balls and find some of those other balls that we didn't talk about.
And hurt them.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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This was very entertaining to read.
Have fun with those other balls.Posted 07-10-2015 at 12:50 PM by inferiorwhiteboi 
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Very good. 9/10. Would've been 10/10 if you called it football.Posted 07-21-2015 at 05:39 PM by So Good
