I'd never even thought of the so-called "sissy name" (I don't really like being called a sissy but that's for another blog) before I joined GetDare, and my initial reaction was to dismiss it as a bit of silliness. They barely seemed to get used and just seemed like a cute idea that I couldn't see having any real effect on the sub. Even though I was pretty sure my Mistress would want to label me with something I was pretty sure it'd have no effect on me. How wrong was I?

My...

I have a new favorite story book. It is called "The Gruffalo" written by Julia Donaldson & Axel Scheffler.

It is so good! and it rhymes! Which makes it even better.

It starts with a mouse who goes for a walk in the deep dark wood, and he comes across a fox who thinks he looks good. The mouse is able to scare the fox away because he...

Warning, this is not going to be a cheery blog...

I am finding things quite tough at the moment, so thought maybe writing about it may help in some way, although I'm not sure it really will.

I hope this will make some kind of coherent sense, as I'm not very good at writing this kind of thing.

All my life I have been very shy, never having any confidence in social situations, not being able to interact in a normal way with people. I have since discovered...

As I sit here and write this, my chest is still tight. It hurts to breathe. I have started this blog about 10 times now and wiped everything that I have written. The truth is, I really don't know how to describe the feelings that are happening inside me.

The thing is, I thought I was doing better. It has been awhile since I have had such a flare up in anxiety. It has been years and years since I have had more than one anxiety attack in a week.

I have no explanation for...

It is no secret that I had a shitty 2018. I went through a lot of trauma and drama and my anxiety was at an all time high this past fall. There was a lot of negativity is many different areas of my life.

It is so easy to get sucked into the negativity. To focus on the negative things, and forget the positive. Humans are designed to focus on the negative. To be ready to fight or flight. To stay aware of danger. It is ingrained in us.

Negative feelings: trauma, stress, anxiety,...

Well ... this year is not starting out super great, but I thought I would give you all an update anyways ...

Christmas

Mr. Devious had an amazing Christmas holidays together. We spent 6 days without even leaving the house. We just go to relax and spend time together watching movies and literally not even leaving bed other than to eat or use the bathroom most days.

Christmas eve we put on our matching Christmas pjs and had a relaxing night getting ready...

I wish I could spend every moment of my life being kinky. Wouldn't that be the life? Not having to worry about bills, work, family obligations, disasters ... just spend time with a vibrator held to my clit, orgasming over and over.

But life sucks ... adulting is a thing we all have to do.

There are many times that I just don't have the time or energy to be sexy or kinky. There are whole weeks or months where I just don't want to cum, play with my toys or even have sex...