Insomnomatic
Where He's at right now it's late-afternoon/evening. He's probably just getting off working or relaxing. On my end, I should be sleeping. I would be but my friend B. got in on a Greyhound (fuck em) at around 1am and needed to stay the night. I'm more than okay with that since I wasn't sleeping anyway.
We would have been drinking, but all the stores are closed. We buy snacks and just hang out talking on the porch. She told me a story about how she thinks her friendship with her best friend V. might be more than it appears. I told her that if there's any tension there, it probably is. I'm sitting here typing away. She's passed out on the bed beside me. I'm not attracted to her in that sense, though she is attractive. I can't help thinking back to middle school when sleep-overs were innocent and shameless. I feel awkward. Not because of any sexual tension. It's just that...this is our bed (His and mine). It's strange having anyone at all in it if not Him. Not a problem. Simply something that I begin to ponder on.
Without Him, the bed still feels lonely. Pity I'm not drunk enough to ignore that feeling. The urge to reach out...if only to have a warm body to still my restlessness...is overwhelming. I have more willpower than that. My toys are in the bottom drawer of the nightstand; only barely out of reach. I had to hide them before she could see as I quickly fussed over making the bed. It would be so nice if I could be cuddled on. My desire for any sort of physical interaction, even the harmless kind, has grown exponentially since He left. I know He'll be back before too long. Seven months feels like an eternity...even if we do regale on another with our fantasies and dirty thoughts of the day.
Luckily, I'm not drunk. If I were drunk, I might embarrass myself by trying something. Any kind of something...I'm going to try to get some sleep now. It'll be a tragedy if I end up sleeping away tomorrow for lack of conviction to rest. If I don't have another nightmare, three hours should do nicely. Eight tops...We'll see.
Night all,
♥Chemi♥
We would have been drinking, but all the stores are closed. We buy snacks and just hang out talking on the porch. She told me a story about how she thinks her friendship with her best friend V. might be more than it appears. I told her that if there's any tension there, it probably is. I'm sitting here typing away. She's passed out on the bed beside me. I'm not attracted to her in that sense, though she is attractive. I can't help thinking back to middle school when sleep-overs were innocent and shameless. I feel awkward. Not because of any sexual tension. It's just that...this is our bed (His and mine). It's strange having anyone at all in it if not Him. Not a problem. Simply something that I begin to ponder on.
Without Him, the bed still feels lonely. Pity I'm not drunk enough to ignore that feeling. The urge to reach out...if only to have a warm body to still my restlessness...is overwhelming. I have more willpower than that. My toys are in the bottom drawer of the nightstand; only barely out of reach. I had to hide them before she could see as I quickly fussed over making the bed. It would be so nice if I could be cuddled on. My desire for any sort of physical interaction, even the harmless kind, has grown exponentially since He left. I know He'll be back before too long. Seven months feels like an eternity...even if we do regale on another with our fantasies and dirty thoughts of the day.
Luckily, I'm not drunk. If I were drunk, I might embarrass myself by trying something. Any kind of something...I'm going to try to get some sleep now. It'll be a tragedy if I end up sleeping away tomorrow for lack of conviction to rest. If I don't have another nightmare, three hours should do nicely. Eight tops...We'll see.
Night all,
♥Chemi♥
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