A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Calling him Daddy
I have daddy issues. There, I said it.
I have known for a long time that I have daddy issues. I do not have a great relationship with my father, and I have been dealing with that throughout my entire life.
When I started to realize that I was a little, I fought it pretty hard. It weirded me out. I knew it was a part of my personality and who I was, but I fought entering into a dynamic where I would have a "daddy" dom. And the thought of calling a man Daddy made me want to vomit.
However, I really have loved exploring the Daddy dom dynamic with Mr. Devious. IT has been a great way for me to turn off my overactive brain and just let myself relax and let myself be taken care, instead of taking care of everybody and everything else.
But I was still hesitant to call him Daddy.
However, a month or so ago, I was talking to a little friend of ours, and I accidentally call him my Daddy. She reassured me that it was ok, and encouraged me to talk to him about.
Because I am a chicken, I sent him a message on hangouts while he was at work and asked him what he thought of the "D" word. I told him that I had almost called him that a few times now. He reassured me that it was ok, and that he wasn't against it.
But I still felt weird and blushy.
I started slow, I started to refer to him as Daddy to my little friends, and then took the plunge and called him my Daddy to people in chat. But, to think about calling him Daddy directly made me scared. I was afraid he would hate it, I was blushy and nervous ... I made sure to tell him my hesitation and even though he reassured me, I just couldn't do it.
Finally, Christmas morning, I got to open my presents and half of them were "To Little Butterfly, from Daddy" and I just melted. This action spoke louder than any words of assurance he could have said.
Not long after, a very blushing me was able to call him Daddy in a text message, and just last week, I called him Daddy out loud for the first time.
And guess what!??! He didn't run away.
Saying it gives me a fuzzy and warm feeling inside. It doesn't feel disgusting or wrong like I once thought it would. Instead, it makes me feel so wonderful and protected and loved.
I have known for a long time that I have daddy issues. I do not have a great relationship with my father, and I have been dealing with that throughout my entire life.
When I started to realize that I was a little, I fought it pretty hard. It weirded me out. I knew it was a part of my personality and who I was, but I fought entering into a dynamic where I would have a "daddy" dom. And the thought of calling a man Daddy made me want to vomit.
However, I really have loved exploring the Daddy dom dynamic with Mr. Devious. IT has been a great way for me to turn off my overactive brain and just let myself relax and let myself be taken care, instead of taking care of everybody and everything else.
But I was still hesitant to call him Daddy.
However, a month or so ago, I was talking to a little friend of ours, and I accidentally call him my Daddy. She reassured me that it was ok, and encouraged me to talk to him about.
Because I am a chicken, I sent him a message on hangouts while he was at work and asked him what he thought of the "D" word. I told him that I had almost called him that a few times now. He reassured me that it was ok, and that he wasn't against it.
But I still felt weird and blushy.
I started slow, I started to refer to him as Daddy to my little friends, and then took the plunge and called him my Daddy to people in chat. But, to think about calling him Daddy directly made me scared. I was afraid he would hate it, I was blushy and nervous ... I made sure to tell him my hesitation and even though he reassured me, I just couldn't do it.
Finally, Christmas morning, I got to open my presents and half of them were "To Little Butterfly, from Daddy" and I just melted. This action spoke louder than any words of assurance he could have said.
Not long after, a very blushing me was able to call him Daddy in a text message, and just last week, I called him Daddy out loud for the first time.
And guess what!??! He didn't run away.
Saying it gives me a fuzzy and warm feeling inside. It doesn't feel disgusting or wrong like I once thought it would. Instead, it makes me feel so wonderful and protected and loved.
Total Comments 6
Comments
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It has been a bit of a trial and error process, but I'm glad we've started. I wasn't sure about it at all either but it seems to get more and more fun every little night!
Love you my little princess 💙Posted 01-24-2018 at 11:58 PM by Mr. Devious 
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In this you aren't alone. There have been a few titles Icy has used accidentally or to other people before me. It goes to show that your heart knows what your brain hasn't quite accepted yet. A frightening but wonderful revelation. Well done.Posted 01-25-2018 at 04:37 AM by AbusiveMaster
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So glad to see that it's all working out for you two. :-)Posted 01-25-2018 at 05:17 AM by Blue Fox
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I relate to this so very much. I have an incredibly hard time with titles in general.
When I was trying age play years ago, I never could use the "D" word.
Can't wait to hear more about your explorationsPosted 01-25-2018 at 06:50 AM by Heart
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I would so much like to have someone to cling to. Emotionally, mentally... even physically.
You don't have "issues". You are "lucky". There's a slight difference.
(Your writing [for which I thank you, though it made me all maudlin] inspired me to listen to... well... mostly John Lennon. He had "mother issues".)Posted 01-25-2018 at 02:35 PM by Cstelle
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I struggled with "Daddy" and "Master" for the longest time. The first time I used Master was to someone else and the first time I used daddy oh my good I was so blushy and hid my face as I said it I wanted to die!
I think it is normal to have reservations about the things you are unsure of, and it does get easier and more natural the more often you use them.Posted 01-25-2018 at 03:19 PM by IceMaiden
