It's like a normal world, only weirder. Now with 100% more poetry!
Very serious and detailed report.
I got a magnificent dare from GetDare user extraordinaire cieirn. He wanted a full and detailed report. I give him my full, detailed and OH SO SERIOUS report back.
Firstly, here was the dare:
Alrighty then, you fuck:
It took me 63 hits on my left, and 65 hits on my right nipple to make them red. Was I warmed up? Sure, why not.
Closest thing I had was a bottle 4cm in diameter. That'll do then. You ready to go up my ass, bottle? You betcha! Right then, let's fucking do this sonny. Fingers, warm me up! On it, sir!
I lubed up that sonofabitch and sat on that sonofabitch until I was a comfortable sonofabitch. Then, like a man who looks at his remaining workload on a Friday afternoon, I though 'fuck that', and I did. 100 times. Slowly. I had to get in character to imagine I wanted that thing inside me since the bottle was green. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy gyrating on a green cock. A bit of alien roleplay fantasying got me nice and in the mood. Oh yeah.
Bottle fucked: check. Bottle relubed: check. Bottle put back in: check. Swallowed? You bet your ass I didn't swallow it, I'm a master of not swallowing things up my ass.
I couldn't see why I was blindfolded *pauses for laughter* *crickets*. I honestly couldn't see why I was draping my underwear over the doorknob, but whatever - I did what I was told.
The hogtie was trickier, especially in that position. However, a bit of trickery with a strap and a belt meant I could tie them together. I was in position.
I leaned forward and ow! I hit my head on the doorknob. Great start. Bravo. The crowd goes wild. On my second attempt I get the doorknob in off my top teeth. Again, ow. Now I see why the underwear was there, but I couldn't really smell anything. I guess my junk just smells that damn good.
Anyhow, I gave that door the night of it's life. It was creaking and moaning all the time. I was feeling like a slut so I let it give me a facial (how is that even possible?). The bottle never fell out, so you can scrap that final punishment.
Did I write tiny prick on my chest? Tune in next time for the climactic installment of this dare report. Spoilers: I did.
I am going to make you suffer.
Firstly, here was the dare:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cieirn
Take a wooden spoon or spatula and spank each nipple 50 times, alternating each. Get them nice and red. If the area isn't red, repeat again. This should warm you up...
Find a bottle that is at least close to 2.5cm in diameter. This will be going in your ass. You may warm up with fingers to help loosen up. Lube it up real well and get the bottle inside you. Let it sit inside you until you get more comfortable with it, then slowly fuck yourself with it 100 times. Gyrate on it as you do as if it was the dick you want inside you so bad. Once this is completed, relube the bottle and put it back inside you as far as you can (but don't swallow it!)
Now grab your straps, belt, and underwear and get by a door. Blindfold yourself with one of the straps. Now bind your knees together with another strap.
Drape your underwear over the doorknob so it won't fall off. Loop it through as much as you can so it isn't hanging down much and won't fall off.
Finally, bind your hands and feet together behind you as best as possible with your belt (preferably all together, but can be separate if needed).
Now that you are here, you might as well give the doorknob the blow job it deserves. Other people are watching you and counting on a good show to get off to. Make it passionate, slow and steady, work that knob. Try to smell the manly scent of the underwear as you polish this knob.
This needs to last 5-10 minutes (you can either set a timer or go for 300-600 strokes depending on how fast you think you are going).
If the bottle falls out of your ass during this time, you will clean it off and give it a blowjob as well (you can untie your hands for this, but keep your feet bound; remove the blindfold for the cleaning but reapply the blindfold for the blowjob; knees stay bound), after spanking your nipples another 50 times each.
Also you can write "Tiny Prick" on your chest again for this dare for your comment:
http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/album.p...ictureid=49126
Find a bottle that is at least close to 2.5cm in diameter. This will be going in your ass. You may warm up with fingers to help loosen up. Lube it up real well and get the bottle inside you. Let it sit inside you until you get more comfortable with it, then slowly fuck yourself with it 100 times. Gyrate on it as you do as if it was the dick you want inside you so bad. Once this is completed, relube the bottle and put it back inside you as far as you can (but don't swallow it!)
Now grab your straps, belt, and underwear and get by a door. Blindfold yourself with one of the straps. Now bind your knees together with another strap.
Drape your underwear over the doorknob so it won't fall off. Loop it through as much as you can so it isn't hanging down much and won't fall off.
Finally, bind your hands and feet together behind you as best as possible with your belt (preferably all together, but can be separate if needed).
Now that you are here, you might as well give the doorknob the blow job it deserves. Other people are watching you and counting on a good show to get off to. Make it passionate, slow and steady, work that knob. Try to smell the manly scent of the underwear as you polish this knob.
This needs to last 5-10 minutes (you can either set a timer or go for 300-600 strokes depending on how fast you think you are going).
If the bottle falls out of your ass during this time, you will clean it off and give it a blowjob as well (you can untie your hands for this, but keep your feet bound; remove the blindfold for the cleaning but reapply the blindfold for the blowjob; knees stay bound), after spanking your nipples another 50 times each.
Also you can write "Tiny Prick" on your chest again for this dare for your comment:
http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/album.p...ictureid=49126
It took me 63 hits on my left, and 65 hits on my right nipple to make them red. Was I warmed up? Sure, why not.
Closest thing I had was a bottle 4cm in diameter. That'll do then. You ready to go up my ass, bottle? You betcha! Right then, let's fucking do this sonny. Fingers, warm me up! On it, sir!
I lubed up that sonofabitch and sat on that sonofabitch until I was a comfortable sonofabitch. Then, like a man who looks at his remaining workload on a Friday afternoon, I though 'fuck that', and I did. 100 times. Slowly. I had to get in character to imagine I wanted that thing inside me since the bottle was green. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy gyrating on a green cock. A bit of alien roleplay fantasying got me nice and in the mood. Oh yeah.
Bottle fucked: check. Bottle relubed: check. Bottle put back in: check. Swallowed? You bet your ass I didn't swallow it, I'm a master of not swallowing things up my ass.
I couldn't see why I was blindfolded *pauses for laughter* *crickets*. I honestly couldn't see why I was draping my underwear over the doorknob, but whatever - I did what I was told.
The hogtie was trickier, especially in that position. However, a bit of trickery with a strap and a belt meant I could tie them together. I was in position.
I leaned forward and ow! I hit my head on the doorknob. Great start. Bravo. The crowd goes wild. On my second attempt I get the doorknob in off my top teeth. Again, ow. Now I see why the underwear was there, but I couldn't really smell anything. I guess my junk just smells that damn good.
Anyhow, I gave that door the night of it's life. It was creaking and moaning all the time. I was feeling like a slut so I let it give me a facial (how is that even possible?). The bottle never fell out, so you can scrap that final punishment.
Did I write tiny prick on my chest? Tune in next time for the climactic installment of this dare report. Spoilers: I did.
I am going to make you suffer.
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