Suicide
Posted 06-02-2010 at 08:39 PM by nellybell
Well I have to say hat this is not exactly the happiest topic to have for a first blog post but such is life....
I found out recently that my friends ex killed himself. I wasn't a close friend to him, but I still knew him and had hung out with him and chris when they were dating. (Yes they're gay)
I guess I'm not like crying sad, just this sense of loss. Just stupid stupid loss. Turns out he had been cheated on and got completely drunk and jumped.
All I can think is why. I don't think I have ever quite understood suicide. It is very close thing in my life I guess you could say as my father also killed himself when I was much younger... (no pity party please) I just don't understand it.
I went through that depressive time like most people. No one at the time knew though and I wasn't ever really anymore then a 'I hate the way my life is right now.' Though The though about ending it all had crossed my mind. I grew up though. I went to a new school got away from what was causing it and I am much stronger for it.
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
I'm sorry if this doesn't really make much sense or whatever... I'm just trying to rationalize this all.....
His death just seems so pointless... why? Why why why why why....
20 years old is too young to die. Too young to decide that life is too hard to keep living it. Killing yourself because someone else was stupid IS NOT WORTH IT.
My brain is way scattered right now.
I guess what I wanted to get at is that suicide is not the answer. I know sometimes it seem like there is no hope, like it won't ever get better. There is hope. There is love for you. People would miss you. Don't give up hope.
I know this sounds like a broken record, but it really is true. Life is too special to waste.
(I know there is probably a ton of mistakes but I can't bring myself to reread right now. My brain is way too messy at the moment.)
I found out recently that my friends ex killed himself. I wasn't a close friend to him, but I still knew him and had hung out with him and chris when they were dating. (Yes they're gay)
I guess I'm not like crying sad, just this sense of loss. Just stupid stupid loss. Turns out he had been cheated on and got completely drunk and jumped.
All I can think is why. I don't think I have ever quite understood suicide. It is very close thing in my life I guess you could say as my father also killed himself when I was much younger... (no pity party please) I just don't understand it.
I went through that depressive time like most people. No one at the time knew though and I wasn't ever really anymore then a 'I hate the way my life is right now.' Though The though about ending it all had crossed my mind. I grew up though. I went to a new school got away from what was causing it and I am much stronger for it.
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
I'm sorry if this doesn't really make much sense or whatever... I'm just trying to rationalize this all.....
His death just seems so pointless... why? Why why why why why....
20 years old is too young to die. Too young to decide that life is too hard to keep living it. Killing yourself because someone else was stupid IS NOT WORTH IT.
My brain is way scattered right now.
I guess what I wanted to get at is that suicide is not the answer. I know sometimes it seem like there is no hope, like it won't ever get better. There is hope. There is love for you. People would miss you. Don't give up hope.
I know this sounds like a broken record, but it really is true. Life is too special to waste.
(I know there is probably a ton of mistakes but I can't bring myself to reread right now. My brain is way too messy at the moment.)
Total Comments 2
Comments
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This made me smile... For the first time today...
Edit: Oh ok let me clarify, The Lovey Dovey Part
Over the Suicide part. Oy Sorry ITs EarlyPosted 06-03-2010 at 05:14 AM by Nixie 
Updated 06-03-2010 at 05:33 AM by Nixie -
I agree with your sentiments. It's hard for me to understand too.Posted 06-03-2010 at 06:59 AM by sweetsong
