I cant stop thinking of him

When my ex broke up with my i thought it was not big deal
because it really isnt that much of a big deal, but he was my best friend, and he had been for years, and i just cant stop thinking of him, and i hate it, i want to never think about him, i want him to be dead to me, and it just wont happen, and i hate it so much, because i hate him, he hurt me, and he as done this to other girls, i want to be done with him, but i knew him, and he knew me on a personal level, and i just want him to be my best friend again, but i was and idiot and told him that he is a asshole and that he doent deserve to have anyone, so not i have to live with the fact that he probably will never talk to me again :-|