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I'm getting too old for this...I think
It's not about the age but mind. I'm close to 50 y.o but trust me I feel 30 now Thanks to my Dom. I'm sure you will find your sub soon when you stop thinking for yourself like old chick.Posted 10-19-2023 at 07:46 AM by Non -
I'm getting too old for this...I think
I generally feel a lot younger than my age, 47, but it's something I do try to own and not hide from. It doesn't feel old at all to me (maybe I'm just immature), even if to some others it seems incredibly ancient. LOL.
While I've had an account on getDare for many years, and lurked for years before that, it's only been in the last year or so that I have really been active and engaging with people and the community. So while I don't have past experience to compare it to, in that year I have not particularly found my age to be a barrier. Sure there are some people for whom my age rules me out as a play partner, but that's also true for my gender, or my being a Dom, or my likes and limits, and that's just the way it is.
Maybe I'm lucky, but in less than a year I have experienced three very rewarding full-time dynamics, and a couple that didn't go so well for various reasons. And I've also had many casual interactions that have been fun and rewarding for what they were. Speaking from a heterosexual male Dom point of view, my experience certainly matches Frostbitten's in that despite the apparent ratio of females to males, there is no shortage of female subs here looking for a fulfilling experience if you aim to provide one. And in return my own desires are usually fulfilled as well as part of a mutual interaction.
I've found that irrespective of age, the important part is observing the foundations of BDSM: respecting partners (even with humiliation/degradation play), respecting limits and boundaries, being attentive to the mind-state of your partner, and genuinely trying to address their desires in a D/s interaction. Similar to Frostbitten, when I do this things often turn into something longer or lead to follow on interactions.
So don't be discouraged; age is in the mind. And even with an age gap there will be many for whom that is not a barrier.
AzyliuxPosted 10-17-2023 at 10:14 PM by Azyliux -
I'm getting too old for this...I think
The minute you think you are getting old, you start acting old. It’s just a number. Have fun, stay young!Posted 10-17-2023 at 08:25 PM by jstmefred -
I'm getting too old for this...I think
I much prefer an older man. But I totally feel you ... at 34, I feel like I am getting to old for this too haha.Posted 10-17-2023 at 07:26 PM by Butterfly -
I'm getting too old for this...I think
Quote:I'm 58 and it's not very often that I'm not mentoring/teaching a sub or slave on here, or doing a 1-on-1 for my weight loss program. I learned a very long time ago that if you put the needs of a sub or slave before your own, you will always find someone to play with. Most times that turns into something longer term than originally planned. My attitude towards BDSM has pretty much always been the same, if you help others first, your needs will often be met as well. Good luck with your continued search.
I’ve not found that kind of reciprocal connection with a sub yet, normally I help and then they get lost in the many thousands of requests they are taking on haha, glad you found a better connectionPosted 10-17-2023 at 07:07 PM by Bloxo -
I'm getting too old for this...I think
I'm 58 and it's not very often that I'm not mentoring/teaching a sub or slave on here, or doing a 1-on-1 for my weight loss program. I learned a very long time ago that if you put the needs of a sub or slave before your own, you will always find someone to play with. Most times that turns into something longer term than originally planned. My attitude towards BDSM has pretty much always been the same, if you help others first, your needs will often be met as well. Good luck with your continued search.Posted 10-17-2023 at 05:53 PM by FrostbittenSoul -
Changing tastes and what you really want
It's always interesting to see how things evolve over time, including our selves. I am glad you are discovering what you want and staying true to that. I always like seeing you when you pop in.Posted 12-04-2022 at 03:46 PM by Butterfly -
Here to help GetDare get messy again
Actually I’ve got in trouble for promoting other sites...so I’ll keep names out of it, don’t want to have the mods in my heels haha!
The new game has had a bit of a start, sadly a lot of people who have joined but haven’t followed the rules which is a bit frustrating...still I keep a list of transgressors to ignore in future hahaPosted 05-31-2021 at 08:28 AM by Bloxo -
Posted 05-27-2021 at 12:52 PM by Cstelle -
Posted 05-27-2021 at 04:21 AM by CSasha -
Posted 05-24-2021 at 08:13 PM by Butterfly -
2020 - my Polish year in summary
Quote:
Poland is a great country, I knew that early on after coming here, but last year was when I first started to really start seeing more of it and now I have the bug to see more.
I highly recommend you come to see it one day and put a nice tour plan of cities you want to see!Posted 01-03-2021 at 01:33 AM by Bloxo -
2020 - my Polish year in summary
I enjoyed your video. I watched both parts. Part of my family came from Poland over 100 years ago but I have never been there. Actually I have never been outside of North America.Posted 01-02-2021 at 03:50 PM by DaVance -
Surviving toxic People
Quote:I just emerged from a relationship that was starting to become toxic. The thing is, I always considered myself super self aware and I have been in those type of relationships before and always say that I won't let it happen again, but it just sneaks up on you.
Good for you for surviving and good luck in this upcoming year. You deserve good things and good people.Posted 01-02-2021 at 03:45 AM by Bloxo -
Surviving toxic People
I just emerged from a relationship that was starting to become toxic. The thing is, I always considered myself super self aware and I have been in those type of relationships before and always say that I won't let it happen again, but it just sneaks up on you.
Good for you for surviving and good luck in this upcoming year. You deserve good things and good people.Posted 01-01-2021 at 09:51 PM by Butterfly -
The difference a girl makes...
Stumbled over this nice little article on one aspect of the issue. I think it's not so much different for female subs and switches.Posted 06-28-2020 at 04:10 PM by CSasha -
1000 Posts Rules
Adding some more Keywords...this will be so Submissive girls can feel freer to post in my thread:
GIVE ME A RULE - I will give you a rule you must follow for 1 week
GET ME MESSY - I will give you a small messy task
MAKE ME BLUSH - I will give you a hidden public dare
MAKE ME WET - I will give you a small teasing dare
MAKE ME COLD - I will give you a dare to make you cold (ice/toothpaste/shower)
WRITE ON ME - I will give you a word to write and where to write it
COMPETE WITH ME - We will enter a Loser has to thread together, please specify which one
GIVE ME PAIN - I will give you a simple spanking/implement dare
I WANT TO BURN - I will give you a wax darePosted 06-26-2020 at 10:44 AM by Bloxo -
The difference a girl makes...
Thank you Knorke for such a powerful comment!
It's important to see things from a female perspective and this is something that can often become lacking, most of the girls who have a hard time here I would imagine just leave and never come back and don't share their experiences to educate the group on what they have been through!
I really appreciate your comment and it makes me reflect on how I've used this site and I hope it contributes to the discussion on how this can be a better place!Posted 06-25-2020 at 09:13 AM by Bloxo -
The difference a girl makes...
I can honestly say that participating on gD under my old account name (which was my first name, more or less) got me a lot more attention than my current name - which is entirely neutral. It got to the point where even if I hadn’t written anything in the forum for weeks, just coming online would mean I’d get private messages from people looking to play or asking for dares as punishment and whatnot. People looking to get off, really. Is that what I was looking for when coming here? No, duh. The entitlement of “you are a sub you should play with me and I don’t care if you say no” & “you are female so give me a task even if we never talked” has sadly proven itself to be very real. And, pardon if I offend anyone, but last I checked I owed no one on here much.
It also makes it really hard to even want to come here, and if I do I usually forego posting in any thread and just talk to a handful of people in chat. What I’ve personally taken away is that at this point in time, outside of people I “know” (not necessarily limited to people on my friends list), I prefer simply talking to as few people as possible on here. That’s not to say I would want to play with all or even any of them — but it’s a bunch of people I know I can talk to, ask for advice if needed and who can think with their head more so than with what’s between their legs.
People are selfish, and that’s not too unexpected. I am, but so are you. And I sometimes feel too vanilla for a lot of the folks on here — I just like to get tied up and occasional denial. But what I see is scat, diapers, blackmail, exposure, dares that go against common sense etc in a ratio where on a good day I’ll look into 1 out of 10 threads. I participate when I’m motivated and I feel like my interests align. If your likes or threads don’t match my likes, I probably won’t respond.
I don’t care about verification much. The fewer people can plainly see what gender I am, the better on here to be honest. If I want to seriously play with someone from gD, it wouldn’t be through forum threads or PMs but Skype, discord and whatnot. There’s a few people I play with irl, and this site is more of a hobby to a hobby but where people don’t care about interests, likes and limits. What benefit would it bring you to know I’m “real”? To allow you to get off more easily vs getting to know me as a person? Jesus. (Yes, maybe not you personally, but there’s at least 10x as many people interested in the former, it feels like).
Hey, I even had albums on here at one point, but deleted most relevant ones wayyyy back, and the rest at some later point. I did corner time on webcam a few times (with like, 2 people total), but it turns out that just ends up with people wanting more when I don't, and somehow it never works out long enough.
There are vast categories of fetishes that I refuse to engage in, last of all online when, even if the people are real, you can just pretend you’ve done whatever. I’ve seen enough PMs (not just on here, but similar sites too) that boil down to “tell me to do x so I can jerk off”, and that’s the last thing you’ve heard of them.
I personally don’t care much about gender (but I’m also leaning towards bi-asexual in weird ways), but more about the personality behind someone’s virtual username. But I can definitively say that the fewer people on here know much about me, the better. It feels like a lot of people come here when they’re horny, which I rarely do - its more about a bit of social interaction in one of the things I’m interested in. It rarely pays off to engage in any dominant way.
But hey, I'm an introvert anyway. Your mileage may vary.Posted 06-25-2020 at 08:55 AM by knorke
Updated 06-25-2020 at 09:40 AM by knorke -
The difference a girl makes...
Some may say I over blog
But I care about this community, I've seen how great this place can be, and I don't even think I was active in any golden age haha!
Also blogging here can be a bit of a therapy to me, sometimes I feel the need to get stuff out...and it's healthier than unloading it to the people around mePosted 06-25-2020 at 08:36 AM by Bloxo -
The difference a girl makes...
No offense taken at all. My annoyance and grief is cause by those who don't read. You even blog. You are a precious.Posted 06-25-2020 at 08:28 AM by CSasha -
The difference a girl makes...
Hi Cassandra, apologies...it was a comment made when tired.
I hope it wasn't taken the wrong way
I am happy to talk with anyone on this site in a friendly manner, but am selective (as we all are) about who I would further that conversation with into more intimate matters.
To stress, I have no problem with the way a person see's their gender, I am happy to identify as Male, but I know other's have their own way to identify and I support that.
Having almost been the victim of predatory people who try to lure people out by pretending to be someone they are not online is why I am sensitive to this issue and why I am cautious.
I agree with your approach above for determining who is who they say they are, not always 100% effective, but it's a good way to weed 99% of pretenders out and respect your opinion on validation, indeed it would not stop harassment...sadly the way some Human's think, it's hard to stop that without implanting some kind of behaviour modification chip into their brainPosted 06-25-2020 at 08:09 AM by Bloxo -
The difference a girl makes...
Quote:Why are women called fake? Because there are fucked up guys who pretend to be women to entertain their desires.
At least that's my experience with my name (the genderneutral Cass is given, but doesn't even make a difference on other sites in that regard), with my avatar (still very happy having gotten it from RiskyFlame ), and eveb my blog entries. It's as if I needed a big fat PENIS sign to drive those guys away (and maybe that is a solution for girls and women to be less harassed: here, put that big Penis sign/picture on you. I know it looks ugly and people will think you are a guy. Exactly that protects you from harassement. Sad sad sad!).
I don't know how women feel about this daily reality, but from my slight dose impressions of it: it SUCKs!
Here is a simple solution for not getting tricked by fake female:
Take your time to read, chat, and listen! Be genuinely interested in the person besides sex and gender.
Putting up the female mask for casual fun is too much effort for pretenders. Their fun is in your focus on the different treatment in form of plenty and different, crazily horny attention due to the supposed sex.
Check yourself: when do you think about ASL (age sex location = "are you fuckable for me?)?
How would you feel if you were asked weight, height, income, do you give me a gift right away? Would you like being treated as a money bag, or a free craftsman, or a sugar daddy?
And by the way, I am very sure that's also the best chance to finally engage with a women possibly interested. If you are sex-focused, then for any woman you are one OF all the same of sex-focused males in a million, and you only match with an also sex-focused female who is like the only one OF a million.
But when you are not that, you have conversation with plenty of interesting and friendly Human people. The topic of sex comes up for sure on getDare. You find like-minded other males. And if you hold your horses and treat everyone with respect, you'll get to know who is even open and a possibly suitable match for you. People who are not will point you into the right direction, directly to good candidates, and might even give you a good reference after they got to know you.
Sorry about the rant. I think verification is not the answer. I have experienced that solution on other sites. Still gotten harassed even more so.
I think the problem of being fooled or wrong assumptions due to lack of reading and education.Posted 06-24-2020 at 11:09 PM by CSasha -
The difference a girl makes...
Yeah, ultimately it's down to men to some degree...and the kind that probably don't even realise there is a Blog section on this site...
Why are women called fake? Because there are fucked up guys who pretend to be women to entertain their desires.
Only way you can ever sort something like this in my opinion is with verified profiles, have admins get pictures submitted that are unfakeable, but it means a lot of extra work, and a non profit site like this...you'll not get that, and even if you did, I imagine many women would feel that they shouldn't have to go through that process (I'm guessing).
I just get nostalgic for the good old days!Posted 06-24-2020 at 05:05 PM by Bloxo -
The difference a girl makes...
I think the biggest churn-off is how girls or women are treated. I have noticed how much you get literally harassed when your user name or avatar looks female (even when your profile does say something else), up to being called fake if you don't provide a pic on demand. Girls and women are real persons and way more than just sex objects as dommes or subs. Everytime that doesn't come first, it's a huge problem.
Unfortunately, this misbehavior comes from less-educated, individual users hard to notice not to say moderate or re-educate by other users. I don't know how to solve this. On different sites I have seen different approaches of which none have worked.Posted 06-24-2020 at 03:43 PM by CSasha