It's not meant to prove anything I think, it's more a kink like another, the way I see it is that it has a bit of exhibitionism or hidden public side to it, where the thing being exhibited or secretly shown in public is the DS. It's something that I wished to be able to do, both for me and for my Dom, it's definitely not a one sided expectation or a situation where I'm pressured.

I broke the rules again and I know I didn't have any excuse, it wasn't an accident and I had the time to realize what I was doing, so I totally deserved the cruelty of today's punishment, if not more.

I had to whip my already sore (from standing at work too much) feet with a charging cord. It was really painful as well as humiliating to perform.

It's also fun starting to learn how to balance work life and being an online Sub, it sounded almost impossible for me in my head when I considered it at first.

Yesterday I broke some rules not really intentionally, and my Dom told me I was going to be punished for them, but I was also allowed to cum (that's a long story), and the tricky part was that I wouldn't know what my punishment would be until after I would cum and would have to take punishment then.

I was pretty sure it would be something that would target my sensitive clit. and I was really scared at the thought, so I didn't enjoy my orgasm at all, instead I kept thinking of what I'm going to endure, and I felt more like I was just coming to be punished and to prepare myself for this punishment rather than to feel pleasure. I struggled to cum and it wasn't that good when it finally happened.

When I was done I didn't relax into my post coming sensation and I went reporting to Sir instantly, because I didn't wanna cheat, in case he wanted me in that state of having just came.

To my surprise my Dom told me that was my punishment, there was nothing else. The whole point was to just make me dread what's to come and ruin my orgasm that way. It was a psychological punishment.

The relief of not enduring clit torture in that state was too big so it overcame the horrible feeling and regret of not having been able to cum properly.

I fell asleep almost instantly after because I had a huge huge day at work and am a few hours away from my period probably, and to punish me in that state was also pretty harsh as well for me, I did plead not to be punished but my Dom wanted to and I wanted to be a good girl.

I woke up feeling a bit subdroppy.

As harmless as this punishment seems, in fact one might not even see the punishment in here as I only got to come at the end of the day, it made me really think I don't wanna break a rule again.

It's hard to say because a lot of the things I've been punished for, I couldn't really control them, they were mostly mistakes for my part.

Still even without that it's hard to say because they are all things I don't like and would try to avoid. Each one bad in its own way.

It's ok.


.........................................

I'd have no clue what you're talking about if it wasn't for the edit, you've commented on a totally unrelated blog.

I don't think I can change my sexuality, and that's not what I'm doing, what I'm doing is something else and I don't feel compelled to justify my reasons for it to you, not like this.

I don't remember dreaming of anything sexual lol I rarely ever get hot dreams actually 😔

This post is currently not up to date because I felt I wanted some privacy in my current rules.