I definitely don't mind spanking, but that's usually never the only stimulation I'm receiving. I think it'd be much more exciting if you could see it happening or create a spin on it..or have a particularly good report like SDK said! Although it could definitely be boring if either party puts no heart into it. I know this wasn't the main focus of your blog or anything, but it was the part that most caught my eye

I can attest to the fact the SDK above, is anything but dull and boring when truly involved in play!

Anyway, I know this was more of a ranting blog, but I do agree with others. It all depends on what someone is comfortable with.

And I think that as time goes on, and people see more than just the basic roles, that they develop further interests. And I can say that I've done the same as SDK above. While I don't give out tasks these days, nor receive them, I'm sure others can attest that I wasn't generally boring either.

I admit to giving out 'go spank yourself, slut' tasks. I'm notexactly what you might call a new member either.

Why? It's part that been-there-seen-it semi boredom.

"I'm a bad girl, punish me."
"Bad girls get spanked. So spank yourself."

...And it's part test.

I'm curious if I'm going to get a response more interesting than 'done that, what's next.'

...write me a proper report and suddenly I won't be kinda bored any more and will probably start putting a LOT more effort into the dares/conversation.


Ps: also, almost everyone likes a good spanking

I will try not to repeat what Alexis said, although I'll say I think he's right. But I do think part of the magic of kink "done right" is allowing yourself to explore all the nooks and crannies at your own pace. I think people allow themselves to get pigeonholed into roles that others define too easily and they just go along for the ride. So people who have identified as submissive may do things because that's what subs do. That's not to say that they shouldn't be doing whatever it is they are doing. Sometimes all that "same old same old" we see is exactly what Alexis said. A little kid who's never had sweets before could be ecstatic with the Sweettarts, one day they might find Jolly Ranchers. And, really, everyone prefers different kinds of ice cream anyway.

But I really do think the worst is when someone can't understand why they have so much trouble finding the right candy jar. They look at what's available on the shelf and find themselves dissatisfied with the circle and the square and the hexagonal jar. And, unable to find a jar they like, they settle for one that they can make do with. Let's start making our own jars! Who says that just because I'm a sub, I have to be meek and worship the Domly Dom? Or that a dom must be mean? Or that there's anything wrong with either of those styles if both of the parties involved find it enjoyable?

Hi cuntface. While I can agree that there is a LOT of repetition in the scene, particularly at this site, you have to admit that there are a lot of 'newer' people to the bdsm scene here. Newer people are more likely to see something that some of us see as same-old same-old as something edgy and exciting.

"Topping from the bottom" is a confusing issue for me in many ways. I get the overall point in that its frustrating as a 'top' to have a 'bottom' tell you during a scene what to do to them... Having said that, there does need to be a way for a bottom to explain their interests, and a bottom giving a top ideas to use in other scenes seems more than appropriate to me but I've seen it frowned on.

I think I miss your point on the 'heartfelt ad' thing. Just knocking the short ads? (I get that, but it wasn't clear that that is what you were saying.)

Anyway, I think I under the theme of your post, frustration at the lack of original ideas and content, at the constant repetition of formulaic bdsm discussions... but I think you just need to accept that there are a lot of 'newish' people to the bdsm landscape here who are just fine with 'ooh, call me Master and spank yourself 10 times!' and only a handful that want something more and are still hanging around here hoping for it.

Thanks for posting this. I've struggled with this on GetDare myself. I'm a submissive male, but not interested in crossdressing, diapers, humiliation, or any kind of being treated like a sissy.

More interested in giving up control, and naturally a bottom. However, most people IRL consider me a straight male. I act with normal male tendencies and that's just how I am.

Just because I tend to bottom (but not solely), and want to give up control (but can switch at times), does not make me any less of a man. However, it's hard to find a partner to complete the other piece of the puzzle that also feels that way.

I'm very fortunate to have a master who works in that area. It isn't without struggles for both of us, but we both work very hard to work through those areas and make each other very happy.

I think it's totally awesome that you wrote this and gave us a window into who you are. I love reading about the problems people face. Especially when it's something like this, issues that most of us don't have to fight. Except that we've all experienced not fitting in.