I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
Looking Back
Posted 11-26-2016 at 10:30 PM by techiegirl
Recently I've been thinking about my life and the things I've accomplished and how much everything has changed these last few years.
Three years ago, roughly, I was an idiotic girl who wanted to die. I was just a kid (still kinda am, 20 ain't that old) but I was kinda destroying everything. Depression is a horrible illness and mine was taking over. I didn't have any plans after high school, I was barely making it to class, couldn't drive because of my anxiety, my friends were a bit awful, and I had a terrible relationship with my family. I had no idea where my life was going and I frankly didn't care.
I worked on Thanksgiving, so today I drove from my apartment to my parents' house to be with them and my siblings. We went around the table and said something we were thankful for cuz we're one of those stereotypical families.
I nearly teared up when it was my turn. I used to not be able to get out of bed because my depression was so horrendous. I didn't function and my parents thought I wouldn't be able to until I was close to 26. That was their time table since my ability to be a normal person was so bad.
So, I am thankful for all my friends that I've made who have been with me through thick and thin.
I am thankful for the love and happiness I feel from them and how they push me to be a better person.
I am thankful for my play partner who has dealt with (and is like currently dealing with) my insanity and insecurities like a fucking champ.
I am thankful for my fantastic job that I adore.
I am thankful for my family and how much they support me.
I am thankful for the BDSM community for how accepting they are and how they have become my second family.
I am thankful for the amazing strength I've discovered in myself to be able to fight my mental illnesses.
And lastly, I am thankful for my beautiful cat, The Kitten, who is adorable and too precious for this world.
Three years ago, roughly, I was an idiotic girl who wanted to die. I was just a kid (still kinda am, 20 ain't that old) but I was kinda destroying everything. Depression is a horrible illness and mine was taking over. I didn't have any plans after high school, I was barely making it to class, couldn't drive because of my anxiety, my friends were a bit awful, and I had a terrible relationship with my family. I had no idea where my life was going and I frankly didn't care.
I worked on Thanksgiving, so today I drove from my apartment to my parents' house to be with them and my siblings. We went around the table and said something we were thankful for cuz we're one of those stereotypical families.
I nearly teared up when it was my turn. I used to not be able to get out of bed because my depression was so horrendous. I didn't function and my parents thought I wouldn't be able to until I was close to 26. That was their time table since my ability to be a normal person was so bad.
So, I am thankful for all my friends that I've made who have been with me through thick and thin.
I am thankful for the love and happiness I feel from them and how they push me to be a better person.
I am thankful for my play partner who has dealt with (and is like currently dealing with) my insanity and insecurities like a fucking champ.
I am thankful for my fantastic job that I adore.
I am thankful for my family and how much they support me.
I am thankful for the BDSM community for how accepting they are and how they have become my second family.
I am thankful for the amazing strength I've discovered in myself to be able to fight my mental illnesses.
And lastly, I am thankful for my beautiful cat, The Kitten, who is adorable and too precious for this world.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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Posted 11-27-2016 at 03:31 AM by Jaro -
It takes a lot of courage and strength to battle depression, because it is something that takes initiative away from you. It robs you of even the desire to be normal again. What you have achieved is phenomenal. Unfortunately, many who were in the same state as you - don't ever get to help themselves.
Yes, you really have a lot to be thankful for - especially your friend who helped you through it.Posted 11-27-2016 at 05:22 AM by Runesmith -
Posted 12-04-2016 at 09:35 PM by Butterfly