Mindless fucktoy - The other perspective.
Posted 09-05-2017 at 02:37 PM by AbusiveMaster
I was going to post a comment to Icy's blog, but what I have to say will probably be so long as to warrant one of its own. (Also, her blogs are already rated much higher than mine anyway.)
There are many responsibilities inherent in Dominance. The most important is a duty of care. If you wish to take control of an aspect of another person's life, you become responsible for their wellbeing while you excercise said control. The more control you have, the more you are responsible. This involves making sure they are not physically, mentally or emotionally harmed. It also involves ensuring that their needs are met.
In our aftercare session this afternoon, when I allowed Icy to speak and question what had gone before, we covered quite a few topics. One of Icy's more endearing (read enfurating) talents is an eidetic memory of things I have said in the past that run counter to what I am saying now - usually with quotes. She can't remember where she left her vibrator or paddle, but can recite by heart incriminating things I have said to her. In the pursuit of this particular skill, she drew my atention to a remark I had made in a previous blog.
She then proceeded to contrast that with what I had just said to her, which was:
And both statements, while mutually exclusive, are equally true. I fudged an answer as to why this works at the time, and I could fudge another now. The basic truth of it though is the only answer that works in this situation is
"Look, it just is, right? Shut up."
The comparison I drew though was CNC play. While it can be known and agreed upon that a fantasy rape is desired in a relationship, the fantasy is lost if you walk into the bedroom and say "Is it ok if I pretend to rape you today?"
The communication is important, the timing is just as vital. We have discussed along these lines and around the subject many times. I knew there was an interest. We have been together for over two years now - i know her moods, triggers, warning signals and fantasies. As such I knew exactly what I was doing, and - in modesty - I had been manipulating her towards this since she woke up without her being aware of the fact I was doing so. I was judging her mood and priming her to be receptive. Even so, a bad reaction would have quickly ended the experiment.
One of the other things we covered in our aftercare was something Icy touched on briefly in her own blog.
That is very true of Icy. While she will never directly disobey me, and while she generally has thr right to ask me anything at any time, her insistance of understanding exactly why I gave this order, what I want, where I am going with it can have the effect of removing the immediacy from a situation. There can be a thrill in the unknown, a pleasure in blind obedience, and this is something that her "need to know" has always stolen from her. It is something I want her to experience for many reasons.
There is a famous trust excercise where you are blindfold and fall backwards, trusting the person behind to catch you. If I were ever on one of those courses, I would be sorely tempted to let the poor sap fall to the floor, then stand over them laughing my head off. But I will never allow my IceMaiden to fall. If for no other reason, then because I have ample opportunity to laugh at the clumsy, naive little bimbo without manufacturing them.
It is one thing to trust someone, it is another entirely to figuratively fall backwards and expect them to catch you. This is what "mindless" obedience comes down to at the end of the day. You don't need to know what is happening, you have no need to know why it is happening, all the information you require is that you are safe.
Thank you for your trust.
There are many responsibilities inherent in Dominance. The most important is a duty of care. If you wish to take control of an aspect of another person's life, you become responsible for their wellbeing while you excercise said control. The more control you have, the more you are responsible. This involves making sure they are not physically, mentally or emotionally harmed. It also involves ensuring that their needs are met.
In our aftercare session this afternoon, when I allowed Icy to speak and question what had gone before, we covered quite a few topics. One of Icy's more endearing (read enfurating) talents is an eidetic memory of things I have said in the past that run counter to what I am saying now - usually with quotes. She can't remember where she left her vibrator or paddle, but can recite by heart incriminating things I have said to her. In the pursuit of this particular skill, she drew my atention to a remark I had made in a previous blog.
Quote:
That communication goes both ways. When playing so close to limits, it is not a time to experiment and go off script during a scene. Matters should be discussed beforehand and whatever is set initially has to be adhered to. Afterwards, when you talk through what happened, adjustments can be made for intensifying and developing the next session. The Dom has to tell his sub what he is about to do, the sub has to share her feelings on that beforehand, and between them they find a way forward - IF it is something both parties want to pursue. Communication before, during and after a scene is what makes intense play possible.
Quote:
there was no realistic way of discussing that before it happened, otherwise it couldn't have happened
"Look, it just is, right? Shut up."
The comparison I drew though was CNC play. While it can be known and agreed upon that a fantasy rape is desired in a relationship, the fantasy is lost if you walk into the bedroom and say "Is it ok if I pretend to rape you today?"
The communication is important, the timing is just as vital. We have discussed along these lines and around the subject many times. I knew there was an interest. We have been together for over two years now - i know her moods, triggers, warning signals and fantasies. As such I knew exactly what I was doing, and - in modesty - I had been manipulating her towards this since she woke up without her being aware of the fact I was doing so. I was judging her mood and priming her to be receptive. Even so, a bad reaction would have quickly ended the experiment.
One of the other things we covered in our aftercare was something Icy touched on briefly in her own blog.
Quote:
I always obey and try my best...but never stop thinking about things. Whether that's the order I am following at the time, or how I might look or how I'm feeling, or what AM is currently thinking. My brain never switches off,
There is a famous trust excercise where you are blindfold and fall backwards, trusting the person behind to catch you. If I were ever on one of those courses, I would be sorely tempted to let the poor sap fall to the floor, then stand over them laughing my head off. But I will never allow my IceMaiden to fall. If for no other reason, then because I have ample opportunity to laugh at the clumsy, naive little bimbo without manufacturing them.
It is one thing to trust someone, it is another entirely to figuratively fall backwards and expect them to catch you. This is what "mindless" obedience comes down to at the end of the day. You don't need to know what is happening, you have no need to know why it is happening, all the information you require is that you are safe.
Thank you for your trust.
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