I have a lot of things I should talk about and it is easier for me to do that on a random website to a bunch of strangers. You can comment on my stuff or not, but the majority of my blog posts will be personal things that are difficult for me to talk about out loud.
How to be a Brat
Recently, I have realized that I'm not just a bottom, but I am also a brat.
What's the difference? Well, the definition of different roles in a kinky relationship varies from person to person, but this is how I view it and you may not, your dom might not, and your sub might not, but this is how I view these things.
A bottom doesn't want to submit, they want to be dominated. They usually will not play outside of a scene, meaning once the scene is over so is their submission and so is the top's dominance.
A brat doesn't have to be a bottom, but the few other brats I know can be classified as one as well. A brat, in my opinion, is a much mouthier bottom.
To use myself as an example, I talk back in scenes almost automatically and I basically have to be forced to submit. A good way to tell if I'm actually obeying you is if I talk back or grow more aggressive. If I'm not speaking or shutting down, then odds are I'm not really doing what I'm being told or it's not really affecting me.
In fact, and this may just be me personally, the more turned I am, the more hostile I become. To the point of where I will swear at whoever is topping me. I will become defensive and rude and mouthy.
It's not a slam at your ability to dominate me, but a sign of how intense the scene is. A more vanilla scene and I wouldn't be so hostile.
So, if you are trying to dominate someone like this, there is a chance they are a brat, or they're simply uninterested in you. Try talking to them and confirm their feelings about the scene. Communication is key, with all relationships, but even more so with a brat.
If this is sounding familiar, there is a chance you're a brat. This doesn't mean there is some magical soulmate out there who can dominate you completely. It doesn't mean that you're not as worth it as you can't submit completely. It just means that whoever doms you needs to be aware of your personality.
Don't try to change your partner or yourself if either one of you is a brat. Learn to work with it.
Happy hunting.
What's the difference? Well, the definition of different roles in a kinky relationship varies from person to person, but this is how I view it and you may not, your dom might not, and your sub might not, but this is how I view these things.
A bottom doesn't want to submit, they want to be dominated. They usually will not play outside of a scene, meaning once the scene is over so is their submission and so is the top's dominance.
A brat doesn't have to be a bottom, but the few other brats I know can be classified as one as well. A brat, in my opinion, is a much mouthier bottom.
To use myself as an example, I talk back in scenes almost automatically and I basically have to be forced to submit. A good way to tell if I'm actually obeying you is if I talk back or grow more aggressive. If I'm not speaking or shutting down, then odds are I'm not really doing what I'm being told or it's not really affecting me.
In fact, and this may just be me personally, the more turned I am, the more hostile I become. To the point of where I will swear at whoever is topping me. I will become defensive and rude and mouthy.
It's not a slam at your ability to dominate me, but a sign of how intense the scene is. A more vanilla scene and I wouldn't be so hostile.
So, if you are trying to dominate someone like this, there is a chance they are a brat, or they're simply uninterested in you. Try talking to them and confirm their feelings about the scene. Communication is key, with all relationships, but even more so with a brat.
If this is sounding familiar, there is a chance you're a brat. This doesn't mean there is some magical soulmate out there who can dominate you completely. It doesn't mean that you're not as worth it as you can't submit completely. It just means that whoever doms you needs to be aware of your personality.
Don't try to change your partner or yourself if either one of you is a brat. Learn to work with it.
Happy hunting.
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