Thanks, but No Thanks
Written for my friend, Rex (she has trouble reaching the keyboard)
"Hello Very Special Person,
You have reached Your Personal Vend-A-Kink Machine.
For a serious response, please press #1
For a super serious, no like for real, I'm being totally serious, please you need to press #2
For a soft and gentle response, please press #3
For a listing of our available services, please press #4
1While I'm flattered that you've displayed interest in my person... To avoid any further communication on the subject (which is bound to be horribly uncomfortable for you) I have compiled a short list as to why I will not partake:
1) I don't want to.
Have a great day!*
2valley girl voice OMG! I opened my account today, like, as soon as I got off work. Like, literally, the minute I got off work and I saw your friend request, like, right away, and I was like, oH mY gaWWD! I just couldn't believe that you, like, picked me! I feel like we're, like, already best friends. I mean, this is probably like, the coolest thing to happen to me this whole year. Like, literally. /end valley girl voice
3Thank you for the friend request. I am genuinely interested in making friends here. It's just that I'm a rather private person and I prefer to reserve clicking that little friend box until I'm actually friends with someone. Word of advice, next time send someone a message, introduce yourself, tell them what drew you to contact them (but don't be crude), maybe just have a normal conversation.
4
If you are looking for someone to cross your bridge, please press #1
If you are looking for a dare, please press #2
If you are looking for a slave, please press #3
If you are looking for a dominant (or just someone to watch you), please press #4
If you are looking for pictures of boobs, please press #5
If you are looking for penises, please press #6
If you are looking for love, please press #7
If you are looking for advice on anything at all, please press #8
If you are looking for jerk-off instructions, please press #9
We hope you have enjoyed your visit today. Thank you for coming, please feel free to stay away.
*This response has been modified to suit our purposes. Credit goes to SleepingBruisey for original wording.
"Hello Very Special Person,
You have reached Your Personal Vend-A-Kink Machine.
For a serious response, please press #1
For a super serious, no like for real, I'm being totally serious, please you need to press #2
For a soft and gentle response, please press #3
For a listing of our available services, please press #4
1While I'm flattered that you've displayed interest in my person... To avoid any further communication on the subject (which is bound to be horribly uncomfortable for you) I have compiled a short list as to why I will not partake:
1) I don't want to.
Have a great day!*
2valley girl voice OMG! I opened my account today, like, as soon as I got off work. Like, literally, the minute I got off work and I saw your friend request, like, right away, and I was like, oH mY gaWWD! I just couldn't believe that you, like, picked me! I feel like we're, like, already best friends. I mean, this is probably like, the coolest thing to happen to me this whole year. Like, literally. /end valley girl voice
3Thank you for the friend request. I am genuinely interested in making friends here. It's just that I'm a rather private person and I prefer to reserve clicking that little friend box until I'm actually friends with someone. Word of advice, next time send someone a message, introduce yourself, tell them what drew you to contact them (but don't be crude), maybe just have a normal conversation.
4
If you are looking for someone to cross your bridge, please press #1
If you are looking for a dare, please press #2
If you are looking for a slave, please press #3
If you are looking for a dominant (or just someone to watch you), please press #4
If you are looking for pictures of boobs, please press #5
If you are looking for penises, please press #6
If you are looking for love, please press #7
If you are looking for advice on anything at all, please press #8
If you are looking for jerk-off instructions, please press #9
We hope you have enjoyed your visit today. Thank you for coming, please feel free to stay away.
*This response has been modified to suit our purposes. Credit goes to SleepingBruisey for original wording.
Total Comments 10
Comments
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Posted 10-23-2014 at 02:25 AM by Jah Brother -
Posted 10-23-2014 at 03:17 AM by LondonDom -
*giggles*
This is hilarious!
Also, sign me up.Posted 10-23-2014 at 05:12 AM by eivins -
Posted 10-23-2014 at 05:42 AM by Shadowice -
Quote:
Also who isn't looking for boobies!?! I just choose to get mine from this "internet" place. Its great there are all sorts of things not just boobies. There are a few locations you may get stuck looking at pretty things and need help to escape but I assure you there are boobies on there.Posted 10-23-2014 at 07:31 AM by Ly Ph -
Posted 10-23-2014 at 08:21 AM by Jah Brother -
Posted 10-23-2014 at 08:22 AM by Alexis Rune -
Posted 10-23-2014 at 10:34 PM by naughtylittlegirl -
Posted 10-24-2014 at 06:18 AM by Alexis Rune -
Quote:
Quote:Kittenlyss: you are the queen.
And I will be snagging portions of this when I get a chance to sit down and draft my replies to random friend requests. And random messages too I think. The really articulate ones, that consist of 'wil u dom mee hav cam pls' (have mercy, that was painful to type).
And feel free to take whatever you like.
Or to ask for an assist! I would totally write your letters for you.
Quote:Posted 10-24-2014 at 08:51 PM by kittenlyss