My actual thoughts. I could care less if you disagree. I welcome feedback; except from the stupid. Go away.
May contain things you don't want to hear or don't care about. Once again, I could care less. The opinions are mine and do not reflect anything, except that I might be an ass to some people.
May contain things you don't want to hear or don't care about. Once again, I could care less. The opinions are mine and do not reflect anything, except that I might be an ass to some people.
Learning/Learn from my mistakes
Posted 09-01-2011 at 10:17 PM by Manbearpig
When I start this post, it is September 1st. I am sure by the time I finish, it no longer will be but that is beside the point. It so far has been a long and straining year. But so much has happened.
The beginning of the year started off rough. I had been used by a girl who I liked for some odd reason. You might have remembered I had my first bit of "success" with a girl around Christmas time last year, only for things to go downhill very quickly. I later learned through a mutual friend that I had been used sort of in a way, and I rather not go into details. I'll get back to this in a bit.
One of my major flaws in the past is that I have trust issues. It takes me a long time for people to earn my trust. And until you earn that trust, you may never get to know the true side of me. I have been very reluctant to let people into my life. I don't have a lot of regrets in my life, but if I do have some, this is one of them. I have always enjoyed the comfort of my crab shell. That doesn't mean that I am antisocial. Far from it actually. Once I start talking, I can usually not shut up. I have a lot of things to say. But a lot of what I say is personal, what I truly feel. It is something that I take very serious. And since a young age, I have often gotten this trust broken. Often times, this has led to me getting in uncomfortable situations. That is why I hide my feelings.
Hiding your feelings is a rough thing to do. It can lead to bad things. It can lead to missed opportunities. It can also lead to anger. It can lead to depression. I have experienced all three of these in my life. I am sure most people on this board have felt these feelings. You might have also have felt isolation, and at times, frightened. You might have a coping mechanism. Mine is an easy one. The only problem is that mine only exists only a few times a year...running during Christmas time with a snowfall at night. This is the easiest way for my troubles to disappear. However, if such mechanism doesn't exist, it can lead to bad things for me. It can lead to me becoming severely antisocial and scared.
However, I am learning. I have started to open up more. And I am starting to learn trust. It is not an easy thing to learn when you are almost 21 and have not learned it will before. But it can be done. People are becoming (key word there) less scary to talk to. I feel like I can open up a little more now.
Why did I write this blog post? I really have no good reason. As I have stated previously in this blog, I often use this as a way to get things off my mind. It allows me to empty my mind. And often times, that is what you need most.
Until next time,
MBP
The beginning of the year started off rough. I had been used by a girl who I liked for some odd reason. You might have remembered I had my first bit of "success" with a girl around Christmas time last year, only for things to go downhill very quickly. I later learned through a mutual friend that I had been used sort of in a way, and I rather not go into details. I'll get back to this in a bit.
One of my major flaws in the past is that I have trust issues. It takes me a long time for people to earn my trust. And until you earn that trust, you may never get to know the true side of me. I have been very reluctant to let people into my life. I don't have a lot of regrets in my life, but if I do have some, this is one of them. I have always enjoyed the comfort of my crab shell. That doesn't mean that I am antisocial. Far from it actually. Once I start talking, I can usually not shut up. I have a lot of things to say. But a lot of what I say is personal, what I truly feel. It is something that I take very serious. And since a young age, I have often gotten this trust broken. Often times, this has led to me getting in uncomfortable situations. That is why I hide my feelings.
Hiding your feelings is a rough thing to do. It can lead to bad things. It can lead to missed opportunities. It can also lead to anger. It can lead to depression. I have experienced all three of these in my life. I am sure most people on this board have felt these feelings. You might have also have felt isolation, and at times, frightened. You might have a coping mechanism. Mine is an easy one. The only problem is that mine only exists only a few times a year...running during Christmas time with a snowfall at night. This is the easiest way for my troubles to disappear. However, if such mechanism doesn't exist, it can lead to bad things for me. It can lead to me becoming severely antisocial and scared.
However, I am learning. I have started to open up more. And I am starting to learn trust. It is not an easy thing to learn when you are almost 21 and have not learned it will before. But it can be done. People are becoming (key word there) less scary to talk to. I feel like I can open up a little more now.
Why did I write this blog post? I really have no good reason. As I have stated previously in this blog, I often use this as a way to get things off my mind. It allows me to empty my mind. And often times, that is what you need most.
Until next time,
MBP
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Life is a journey not a destination and nobody gets it 100% right 100% of the time.Posted 09-03-2011 at 02:30 AM by Invisible 
