An assortment of my thoughts, feelings, ideas, and poor attempts at humor, all rolled into one easily digestable package.
If this is a sin, then damn me now.
Posted 09-17-2009 at 07:02 PM by Odiefrom
I was sitting church being preached to about fire and brimstone, and the thought popped into my head, "For all the things I do, would I go to hell?" After turning that question over for almost a week, I've come to the conclusion that I would, because I'm unrepentant of my deeds. But that's just it: how can I expect myself to claim to turn away from these deeds, and at the same time be secretly thrilled for the next time I do them? I can't. Because of this, I feel as though I'm sentencing myself to eternal agony, but at the same time being locked in the present and the pleasure it brings. I can almost hear myself crying out "Just damn me already!"
Having been raised up in a very religious and conservative home (changing in a locker room is considered to be borderlining taboo), my values of childhood are going against my new values. I'm probably just looking at this too hard, but it's been striking my mind lately, so I thought I'd share. Any thoughts?
Having been raised up in a very religious and conservative home (changing in a locker room is considered to be borderlining taboo), my values of childhood are going against my new values. I'm probably just looking at this too hard, but it's been striking my mind lately, so I thought I'd share. Any thoughts?
Total Comments 9
Comments
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In my opinion Christian culture's emphasis on sexual repression has come to a head in more modern times. Posting here I can only imagine the nature of your perceived sins. If a religion is damning you based on who you are at a deep level, maybe it is time to look for a new one? Unitarianism sounds like it could be a fit for you. I would look around and feel different options out.
I stopped going to church when I realized that no matter how much I believed in the philosophy being preached I would always be damned by these people for not believing in the supernatural. I worked very hard for years to believe in a supernatural and active God but was unable. Leaving religion was sad for me as it was a large part of my life but there are things about yourself you just can't change.Posted 09-18-2009 at 08:02 AM by depp 
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Just remember this one thing. Hell is severe regret. So, if you stop believing in Jesus, then you will be regretting it severely in hell.Posted 09-18-2009 at 01:24 PM by lokelake
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Wow a comment from depp and a comment from lokelake...this is really something else!!
Anyway, I appreciate the input, those are fresh ideas that I haven't fully looked at. I'm still turning over in my head all this, so I'm glad that there are more ideas out there to work with. About leaving the church, I really don't know if I could. I was born into the church, dedicated to the Lord, every Sunday attended church, read the Bible. It has been ingrained in me so much that to turn from it in the slightest feels as though giving up my past for nothing. I don't know what my thoughts or my heart is truly saying, so I'm going to keep listening figure this out. I really appreciate the responses to this. Thanks!Posted 09-18-2009 at 08:11 PM by Odiefrom
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Christianity: threatening its followers since so long ago.
To be fair though, they're not the only ones.
About some ten years ago, I found myself in exactly your situation, Odiefrom. I was a devout catholic, went to mass every week (Saturdays, usually because we did the musical animation, singing the praises of the Lord and generally making mass tolerable for us, as younger participants to the ceremonies). I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but I know that my interests shifted. I began to reel from the hypocrisy of the assembled crowd, how little true commitment there was to their worship, how repetitive and shallow were their combined prayers. The mumbling of the throng got to me.
At the same time, I was discovering new philsophies, from a television show, Babylon-5. The spirituality inherent to the alien races portrayed in this work of fiction actually made more sense than the spirituality I had grown up with. It preached that we are one; we are the universe made manifest and trying to understand itself. For a while, we forget these things, and that is why there are conflicts and wars, for lines randomly drawn on a map, for ideas that should complement and not rebuke each other. "We are starstuff." I found the notion of a unifying spirituality much more appealing than one that divided us and separated us in the afterlife.
Now I'm not saying I believe in those fictional religions. But they were inspired from actual faiths on Earth, so I looked them up. I moved slowly away from the traditional Christian beliefs and more towards a more unifying vision of the universe, love and peace. I stopped attending mass because I could not bear to be a hypocrit anymore. I could not find solace and peace in the rituals that were being performed in front of me, because not only was I faking it, but so were almost everybody else there.
Do I still believe in God? Sometimes. Do I still believe in Christ? As a prophet, a mediator and a unifier, absolutely. I believe in the message delivered by the so-called Good book, provided that message is one of love, charity and peace, which it is, mostly. But I do not believe we are damned unless we repent, that our sins need constant forgiveness.
The true message of Christianity (and this is from my mother, who is doing her Masters in religious studies from a Catholic standpoint) is that we are saved! Not that we need to to go mass in order to be saved, not that we need to repent for our sins or go to hell - we are saved because Jesus died on the cross. As Catholics, we are supposed to follow that example of love, charity and sacrifice, but even if we don't, we are saved, because God has forgiven us through the sacrifice of his Son.
It's up to you which path you take. That is the privilege and the price of freedom. 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' Your freedom starts where the other's freedom ends. If Christianity under its current structure is hurting you, then drop it. Not altogether, not unilaterally, but allow yourself to feel other faiths, to reflect on spirituality as a whole and to see if there isn't something out there that brings you the calm and wellness you need.
I'm still working on it, and will be for the rest of my days, because spirituality is not an end: it is a process.Posted 09-19-2009 at 09:02 AM by interesting
Updated 09-19-2009 at 09:28 AM by interesting -
Interesting, the reason Jesus died on the cross is so we can be forgiven when we ask to be forgiven. Jesus was the sacrificial lamb. He took the place of lambs for us to get and kill to be forgiven. The bible teaches, "The wages of sin is death" So, if someone still has just one little sin when they die, they will be in hell, not heaven.
Posted 09-19-2009 at 02:36 PM by lokelake
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So nobody will go to heaven? Coz nobody is truly perfect.
Posted 09-19-2009 at 04:14 PM by Slenderman - Doctor
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Fenric, you took the words right out of my mouth. Since everything is a sin in the eyes of God ("God is watching you poop"), we'll all be shacking up in the downward place. I'm exaggerating, of course, but think about this: it's very easy to ask for forgiveness on your death bed when you have nothing left to lose. It's a lot harder to actually work to better yourself in life while you can still make a difference in the world - which is actually what Jesus did. His entire life was devoted to service and selflessness, to sacrifice and charity. He didn't wait until he was about to die to do good deeds. And in fact, he opened the doors of heaven to everyone in every subculture and nation (Samaritans, Romans, Criminals). How cool is that, we all get to go to heaven?... oh wait, we don't, because we're all sinners to one degree or another and are therefore going to hell.
I don't believe in deathbed confessions; just as I don't believe in asking for forgiveness for something you are going to be doing anyway. For example, it's not a sin to masturbate, and if it is, no one is getting into heaven, period.
And if you want to argue the reason why Jesus died on the cross, you'll have to take it up with my mother and her teachers, because this is the interpretation that is being taught in university studies by Catholic priests themselves. But what do they know, right?
Apologies to odiefrom for hijacking this post thread.Posted 09-19-2009 at 04:55 PM by interesting
Updated 09-19-2009 at 05:01 PM by interesting -
You don't need to apologize interesting, I'm learning from you and gaining new standpoints to challenge my problem with. I am finding this to be fascinating, and I am very reassured to know that there are people out there struggling with the same issues I do. I'm going to think about what's been said here and try to reflect it on my personal ideologies. I really appreciate all the comments left here.
Posted 09-19-2009 at 08:41 PM by Odiefrom
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I had a lot of those "fire and damnation" feelings when I was younger. Now church doesn't concern me much - but helping fellow mankind does.
In the past there have been a lot of wars and strife cause by religion. Who knows which religion is "the one". But if I help out at the local soup kitchen, it makes the community that I live in a better place - and makes me feel good too.
Enjoyed reading all the comments here too.Posted 09-27-2009 at 07:46 PM by Crusher_63
