Non-Fiction: And I Felt Nothing.

Gretta · 08-18-2010, 06:25 PM

Oh God, how did I wind up here, and if you are reading this, you inevitably have wound up to this exact point as well. This is my true honest to God story. And here it goes.

It started about a year ago...I was sixteen. It was around the time that I had a blogtv account. I went on it every so often until I got my own laptop. Now that I had my own computer I also had the privacy to do my own show nightly. From the begining I noticed that the guys were pretty excited about my bust and they flirted, I returned their happiness and slowly I started wearing less and less on cam. About this same time Chatroulette was becomming popular. I went on a few times, and I noticed that the girls who openly showed themselves were getting flirted with as well.

Today I look back on it and realize that I wanted this attention because I don't feel I'm pretty enough, the only way to describe it is the feeling of being needed. As if someone needed me and my brests to wank off... In the process of showing myself on both websites I became afraid at how much my viewers were knowing about me, and one day I spontaneously deleted it. Before I did however get my first master. He and I have been off and on but I am fairly certian that is how it will always be..."I need you" and "We need to stop" the next. I feel like I might have loved him up until the day he actually told me to strip for him. I remember taking my shirt off and holding my bra in front of me thinking "Really? You don't know him..." but I did...and although I am ashamed to admit it, I felt nothing.

08-18-2010, 06:25 PM	#1
Gretta Baby Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: On a long winding road. Posts: 1	And I Felt Nothing. Oh God, how did I wind up here, and if you are reading this, you inevitably have wound up to this exact point as well. This is my true honest to God story. And here it goes. It started about a year ago...I was sixteen. It was around the time that I had a blogtv account. I went on it every so often until I got my own laptop. Now that I had my own computer I also had the privacy to do my own show nightly. From the begining I noticed that the guys were pretty excited about my bust and they flirted, I returned their happiness and slowly I started wearing less and less on cam. About this same time Chatroulette was becomming popular. I went on a few times, and I noticed that the girls who openly showed themselves were getting flirted with as well. Today I look back on it and realize that I wanted this attention because I don't feel I'm pretty enough, the only way to describe it is the feeling of being needed. As if someone needed me and my brests to wank off... In the process of showing myself on both websites I became afraid at how much my viewers were knowing about me, and one day I spontaneously deleted it. Before I did however get my first master. He and I have been off and on but I am fairly certian that is how it will always be..."I need you" and "We need to stop" the next. I feel like I might have loved him up until the day he actually told me to strip for him. I remember taking my shirt off and holding my bra in front of me thinking "Really? You don't know him..." but I did...and although I am ashamed to admit it, I felt nothing.