Bettering a submissive in non sexual ways

[creativekink]

Has anybody ever focused o improving things that are actually good for a submissive.

Such as eating healthier, exercising, keeping organized, clean house, etc.

Many sexual things such as being able to take a bigger plug etc aren't really useful in everyday life lol.

Everything always seems so skewed to the sexual degrading side.

Just curious of everybody's thoughts.

[monkey-slave]

I’m surprised nobody has responded to this. I have been serving my Master over nine months now and in that time have been improved in several areas;

Daily exercise has resulted in my weight being the lowest it has been for years and my physical appearance much improved.

Stopped smoking six months ago

Negligible drinking

Increased self awareness, self esteem and confidence, this has resulted in better relationships and feeling happier generally.

Acceptance of who and what I am, this is linked to above but slightly different.

Increased productivity, both at home and work

This has been hard work with a degree of emotional investment and upset at times but the results have made it worth it and I’ve also had a lot of laughs and fun along the way. I’m big on the positive aspects of the M/s relationship and there is a lot more too it than just the sexual side

[Devildom1994]

I have to say I'm surprised too that there are very few responses to this. I do care about the non kinky things in a d/s relationship. I have a sub and I make sure that she eats, sleeps, take pills drinks water, exercise etc. For me, it is important that, as a dom I help her with non kinky stuffs too. And it has really helped me to get to know her better and make that relationship better.
Further, I believe that a dom should mould his/her submissive to be more confident, conscious and the person should feel like they're becoming a better person. That's an important aspect of bdsm or any other relationship. They must be able to do better in any area of life when they're together than when independent.

[Anchorsaway]

This is just my humble opinion, but in order for you to have a truly successful and fulfilling D/S relationship, you need to pay attention to the non-sexual elements just as much as the sexual.

My slave has never been good at eating or drinking properly. She has quite a stressful life away from me (we are online) so I get this. Now, she keeps a food, drink and exercise journal for me, which is emailed to me every Saturday.

If I do not think she has looked after herself correctly, we will talk about it and punishment may or may not be dispensed, depending on the circumstances.

*⚘Hiraeth adding in: Master has helped me with quite a bit more than that...
1. Being more aware of my physical appearance inside the house and out.
2. Being more confident.
3. Being able to Express myself appropriately. Including my manners and self control.
4. Being able to have awareness in what I share about myself and how.
5. Time management skills.
6. Assigning blame and accepting credit.
7. Cleanliness and orderliness.
8. Self acceptance.
9. Appropriate service and use of time and energy.
10. Displays of affection.
11. Setting boundaries with others. ⚘

We have also had communication issues, with both of us misreading the other. There are reasons for this, which I will not outline here, but I have encouraged my slave to ask questions. She is always respectful and treats my answer as the final word.

The asking of questions...some people might not agree with this and feel that the slave should not feel the need to question her Master. I couldn't disagree more. Only through full understanding can total submission be achieved, certainly in our relationship.

⚘ I thank you for that , Master. When we met, you know it was a struggle for me to ask anything, much less ask FOR anything. Thank you for all you have done to understand me, to help me, to care for me, and most of all.... to keep me. 🔒

⚘Master.... Happy Anniversary... 6 months ago today I accepted the cookie and used your title. ⚘

[Wedgieking090]

I always wanted a master like this

[Punishwedgiegirl]

Neutral on it as a domme

As a sub I’d actually hate it and have refused it when my current Dom asked about helping me to eat and sleep better. I might be a little biased about the eating as I have anorexia but in other ways I hate it just as much

Personally outside of sex and some d/s dynamics I don’t want any Dom controlling or affecting my personal life. That’s down to me and it’s super important for me to have that control since in other situations with my Dom I’m completely submissive and let him control me

[Butterfly]

Most of my short list of longterm rules revolve around my health. I have to drink x amount of water, get x amount of sleep, take my vitamins etc.

I also employ very similar rules for my sub (exercise, water, diet, etc.). We also go over his personal goals (both sexual and non) a few times a year and there may be rules or tasks that correspond to helping him achieve those things.

[IceMaiden]

I have been with my Sir for over 3 years now (Online, though we have met in person.) and a lot of my long term rules focus on my health and always have done.

For example, I am terrible at remembering to eat sometimes so one rule is to have eaten dinner by 8pm. If left alone I will also eat very little (past food/body issues that still sometimes affect me) so another is to stay between 1,000-1,500 calories each day. I want to become healthier so another is to drink at least 2 litres of water each day and to work out for at least 30 minutes five times a week.

I do have sexual orientated rules too, but the majority of my long term rules are health focused. Each week we review them and discuss any issues that may have arisen and modify, keep, or get rid of them if neccessary.

As Butterfly posted above, with Jaro we also employ similar rules. We have him drink at least 2 litres of a water each day and even though he doesn't like/agree with this one neither of us refuse to budge on it because we both think it is important. When he mentioned wanting to work on his body a while back we included exercise into his rules to help him with it.

Sexual rules and tasks are all good and fine but if your sub is unhealthy and ill, you're not going to be giving them sexual tasks or rules for very long. Health should always come first.

[Master.P]

For me it depends on the sub. I try and encourage bettering their lives in all ways possible. As a sub and just as a person. However when I have a sub that just wants the sexual side to be submissive and they want everything else left up to them, I respect that and let them know that I am always available to help in ANY area of their lives. IMO being a good sub means that you want to be the best sub possible and that means health, sexually, better human being, and being there to help with problems personally their Dom may have. I believe the same goes for the Dom, and that the Dom has the responsibility of helping the sub to become that person.

[fromo]

Tbh, this is something that never even crosses my mind as being something people don't do. I always make sure those who've served me come out the other side better off then when they started in 1 way or another.
Frankly, for anyone taking on a sub thats not just a little playing here and there, I'd of said this is an expected basis of any dynamic, its honestly one of the reasons i personally have issue with seeing people respond to decent adds with 'kik me at: aeughegheru' because the people who do that are unlikely to have the subs best interests in mind given they can't even take the time to introduce themselves.
So few are willing to put in that much effort though and it leads to so many just being turned away from bad experiences/people not living up to what they say.

[Anchorsaway]

Originally Posted by Master.P

For me it depends on the sub. I try and encourage bettering their lives in all ways possible. As a sub and just as a person. However when I have a sub that just wants the sexual side to be submissive and they want everything else left up to them, I respect that and let them know that I am always available to help in ANY area of their lives. IMO being a good sub means that you want to be the best sub possible and that means health, sexually, better human being, and being there to help with problems personally their Dom may have. I believe the same goes for the Dom, and that the Dom has the responsibility of helping the sub to become that person.

This is off topic for the thread at hand, but this part needed a shout. Yes. Ok, confession, I've been generally prejudiced against this site for the last year (Hiraeth the submissive/slave speaking). I just did not SEE this mindset here, and the one Dom I interacted with who seemed to fit that mindset just damaged me. I'm VERY VERY much of this mindset. It's one of the biggest hurdles and most important parts of finding a dynamic that works. I need to respect Him not just find him attractive, or fun... I need to respect him as a person . He needs to be a man I WANT to be a representation of. He is going to be my compass and my rubric... so I need to believe it is a direction I want to travel. MORE THAN THAT I need to believe I can be a good representation of him. What I do, how I act, I'm a reflection of him. That means that, yes, I need to take care of the person I am for him. What does it say about him if he'd own a slob? I'm not talking about things that cant be controlled (disease, accident etc).

Also: Helping your Dom with his issues. This is an area I excel AND fail. This is such an important one. Truly. I believe that this is where relationships succeed or fail. My current life lesson right now is that sometimes support and help comes in the form of sitting beside him patiently and quietly. I'm such a "do-er" a "fixer" that learning to SIT and WAIT has taken longer than it should have. That do unto others as you would have done unto you does not always make appropriate and right expressions of love. Thank you for making that point M. P (sorry, personal rule; I wont type out Master as a title unless it is to my own Master.)