Life after losing your Dom

lilith_ · 05-20-2018, 05:53 AM

"And now what...?"

That's the only thing I've been thinking these days.

My Dom decided that we should end our relationship because it doesn't work for various reasons. Now I am not motivated to do anything at all, it's like I have forgotten how to live without rules.

Are there any subs out there who have had the same issue? How did you cope?

Gmc2500ejw · 05-20-2018, 06:08 AM

Just sent you a message on kik.

lilith_ · 05-20-2018, 06:31 AM

The audacity of some people is beyond me. To the 10+ people who asked me to be my new Master:

No, you will not be my new "Master", I am not a slave, I don't want a Master and !!!!NEWSFLASH!!!! you are not a Master, you are a horny idiot.

submale_21 · 05-20-2018, 06:33 AM

upomoni xriazete..

Slaveboy151 · 05-20-2018, 06:44 AM

I'm sorry people suck. But its a little like real relationships in a way, take some time to yourself, and reflect a little on the nature of your past relaationship. When you think you're ready, you can look again, but you don't really have to by any means. All of this is about making you happy, so try not to let it bring you down! I hope you feel better!

lola.fox · 05-20-2018, 06:46 AM

i'd suggest taking a little break. you don't have to leave gD if you like the emotional support of course, but abstaining from kink for a bit and recharging really helps.

lilith_ · 05-20-2018, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slaveboy151

I'm sorry people suck. But its a little like real relationships in a way, take some time to yourself, and reflect a little on the nature of your past relaationship. When you think you're ready, you can look again, but you don't really have to by any means. All of this is about making you happy, so try not to let it bring you down! I hope you feel better!

Well, it was a real relationship... It wasn't just a sexual relationship. I'm not interesting in finding someone else, I guess what matters right now is finding a way to get through the day without the structure and order that I had when I was with him.

Pariahterror · 05-20-2018, 07:01 AM

I'm sorry about hearing about your breakup. I wish you all the best.

Try to keep some of your rules into play. Make them some bars you can hold on to so you won't fall as quickly. Let them be memories of the good times. Let them give the structure you need for now. Build it of slowly.

Or that is what I think

pixie.dust · 08-22-2018, 10:25 PM

Lilith,

I have experienced this a couple of times and it is definitely hard. Bu, you WILL make it through it. I promise

My advice,

1. look to the future and remember that you are precious.
2. Understand that if it was meant to be... it would be. I would rather be with someone who was devoted to me.
3. You deserve to have a Dom that will stay by your side even during the difficult times. Especially during the difficult times.

Now, I find that it is best to remain busy afterwards and try to stay away from the kinky side of things that could remind you of the past. Come back after some time and play on your own. D/s relationships are harder then normal ones to maintain and it takes time to find a partner who is worthy of your love. I know that I am still struggling to find someone in this world. But, I will continue to try and will eventually find someone. you will too

I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you need to talk. Don't hesitate to reach out!

Take care and remember that you will make it through this

-little alexis

lilith_ · 08-23-2018, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Little.Alexis

Lilith,

I have experienced this a couple of times and it is definitely hard. Bu, you WILL make it through it. I promise

My advice,

1. look to the future and remember that you are precious.
2. Understand that if it was meant to be... it would be. I would rather be with someone who was devoted to me.
3. You deserve to have a Dom that will stay by your side even during the difficult times. Especially during the difficult times.

Now, I find that it is best to remain busy afterwards and try to stay away from the kinky side of things that could remind you of the past. Come back after some time and play on your own. D/s relationships are harder then normal ones to maintain and it takes time to find a partner who is worthy of your love. I know that I am still struggling to find someone in this world. But, I will continue to try and will eventually find someone. you will too

I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you need to talk. Don't hesitate to reach out!

Take care and remember that you will make it through this

-little alexis

Hi, Alexis!

Thank you so much for your advice! It's been a while since then and I'm slowly getting used to the domless life, but it is still something that I crave.

amethyst353 · 08-23-2018, 01:31 AM

I'm all about setting a date in the near future (no more than a week) when you will start healing. Until then, just dwell in it. Don't put on a brave face, don't strategize coping methods, just let yourself feel everything. Get all the pain out now instead of spreading it out. Just be sure to stay in the moment and not write long term narratives about yourself.

I'm sure it's not for everyone and is maybe bad if there is already underlying depression, but it has worked for me.

Hugs

Deepshades · 08-23-2018, 01:36 AM

This is always a hard experience. It is hard to give good advice without knowing you better. Personally I like to keep myself busy, meet people you haven’t talked to for a while, try something new (perhaps a new hobby?). Life can be beautiful, get out and experience it. Don’t sit at home with miserable thoughts.

I hope you will feel better soon.

05-20-2018, 05:53 AM	#1
lilith_ getDare Devil Join Date: Jan 2018 Posts: 1,102 Blog Entries: 32	Life after losing your Dom "And now what...?" That's the only thing I've been thinking these days. My Dom decided that we should end our relationship because it doesn't work for various reasons. Now I am not motivated to do anything at all, it's like I have forgotten how to live without rules. Are there any subs out there who have had the same issue? How did you cope? __________________ *she/her ~ sub ~ bi* likes, dislikes, limits last orgasm: november 2022 my discord server: how to get in wanna message me? my usernames

05-20-2018, 06:31 AM	#3
lilith_ getDare Devil Join Date: Jan 2018 Posts: 1,102 Blog Entries: 32	The audacity of some people is beyond me. To the 10+ people who asked me to be my new Master: No, you will not be my new "Master", I am not a slave, I don't want a Master and !!!!NEWSFLASH!!!! you are not a Master, you are a horny idiot. __________________ *she/her ~ sub ~ bi* likes, dislikes, limits last orgasm: november 2022 my discord server: how to get in wanna message me? my usernames

05-20-2018, 06:33 AM	#4
submale_21 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: UK Posts: 269	upomoni xriazete.. __________________ Likes: Edging, light pain, bondage, nipple torture, gag, tease and denial, cbt Dislikes / punishments: Ice play, cock head torture, cum control, spanking Limits: Ass play, face, public 25 / M / Switch (started as a sub) Kik: submale21 Skype: submale22

05-20-2018, 06:44 AM	#5
Slaveboy151 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Posts: 246	I'm sorry people suck. But its a little like real relationships in a way, take some time to yourself, and reflect a little on the nature of your past relaationship. When you think you're ready, you can look again, but you don't really have to by any means. All of this is about making you happy, so try not to let it bring you down! I hope you feel better! __________________ 23 ▬ Whore ▬ Bi-sexual ▬ slave looking for humiliation My Kik is slaveboy151151 My telegram is @slaveboy151 Toys: Collar, vibrator, dildo, and a ball gag! ◄► Piss ▬ Anal ▬ Toilet Play ▬ Humiliation ▬ Pics ▬ Blackmail ◄► Public ◄► Scat/Vomit ▬ Pain ▬ Family & Friends ▬ Cumming

05-20-2018, 06:46 AM	#6
lola.fox ♡ limited edition - cock tease barbie ♡ Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 1,803 Blog Entries: 53	i'd suggest taking a little break. you don't have to leave gD if you like the emotional support of course, but abstaining from kink for a bit and recharging really helps. __________________ likes + limits + inbetween i’m a pint-sized lady with not so tiny curves who despises mindless small talk, men who ask for things they don't deserve, and women who have a penchant for gossip.

05-20-2018, 06:08 AM	#2
Gmc2500ejw Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 73	Just sent you a message on kik.

05-20-2018, 07:01 AM	#8
Pariahterror Prodigy Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: Netherlands Posts: 4,401 Blog Entries: 21	I'm sorry about hearing about your breakup. I wish you all the best. Try to keep some of your rules into play. Make them some bars you can hold on to so you won't fall as quickly. Let them be memories of the good times. Let them give the structure you need for now. Build it of slowly. Or that is what I think __________________ Male, 28, Dutch, puppy Likes: Denial / Spanking / Petplay / body writing / Sensory Deprivation / Crossdressing / Hidden public / Hypnosis Neutral: Diapers / Messy / Cornertime / Bladder control / Pee / pictures Curious: Humiliation / Self-bondage / hidden public outing Dislikes: Linewriting Limits: Permanent / Family / Face / Video/Cam / Illegal For more: Likes / toys PM dares Progress of 1000 thread KIK: Pariahterror

08-22-2018, 10:25 PM	#9
pixie.dust Precious Gem Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Cleaning something in a pretty little outfit :) Posts: 502 Blog Entries: 5	Lilith, I have experienced this a couple of times and it is definitely hard. Bu, you WILL make it through it. I promise My advice, 1. look to the future and remember that you are precious. 2. Understand that if it was meant to be... it would be. I would rather be with someone who was devoted to me. 3. You deserve to have a Dom that will stay by your side even during the difficult times. Especially during the difficult times. Now, I find that it is best to remain busy afterwards and try to stay away from the kinky side of things that could remind you of the past. Come back after some time and play on your own. D/s relationships are harder then normal ones to maintain and it takes time to find a partner who is worthy of your love. I know that I am still struggling to find someone in this world. But, I will continue to try and will eventually find someone. you will too I am here if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you need to talk. Don't hesitate to reach out! Take care and remember that you will make it through this -little alexis __________________ Trans Woman (she/her) \|\| Pansexual \|\| Submissive *Likes* \|\| *Limits!* Currently owned by Daddy Komodo Jones

08-23-2018, 01:31 AM	#11
amethyst353 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Sep 2016 Posts: 498 Blog Entries: 16	I'm all about setting a date in the near future (no more than a week) when you will start healing. Until then, just dwell in it. Don't put on a brave face, don't strategize coping methods, just let yourself feel everything. Get all the pain out now instead of spreading it out. Just be sure to stay in the moment and not write long term narratives about yourself. I'm sure it's not for everyone and is maybe bad if there is already underlying depression, but it has worked for me. Hugs __________________ 32\|bi(prefers women)\|trans woman\|sub-leaning switch formerly known as marissa353 loves: humiliation, gags, bodywriting, bondage, games limits: pics with face, messing with sleep, public, heavy blackmail, videos, permanent, scat, extreme pain Note: I transitioned years ago - wearing women's clothes isn't a dare. If you give me a sissy-themed dare, I will ignore you. Full likes/limits \| Toys/Items I Own \| PM Dares (friends only for a bit) \| My current rules

08-23-2018, 01:36 AM	#12
Deepshades Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2018 Posts: 14 Blog Entries: 5	This is always a hard experience. It is hard to give good advice without knowing you better. Personally I like to keep myself busy, meet people you haven’t talked to for a while, try something new (perhaps a new hobby?). Life can be beautiful, get out and experience it. Don’t sit at home with miserable thoughts. I hope you will feel better soon. __________________ 37, male, switch. Find more about me here. My toys. My PM Dares. Likes & Limits (as sub). KIK: Deepshades321