Voluntary Blackmail?

SubMissiveM · 10-12-2009, 03:46 AM

There's a girl I know online from here that wants me to submit to her via blackmail. I'm naturally quite a reserved person, and it's hard for me to do almost anything for her without feeling guilty or something else. Now she wants me to submit fully and explore my greatest fantasies and be her little bitch, which scares the hell out of me but also arouses me. I can give in and have very little say in the relationship from this point onwards but indulge my sexual desires and imaginings, or I can back out now and never really go any further with this side of my sexuality. Any thoughts?

kinkyboy808 · 10-12-2009, 03:50 AM

I suppose it all depends on which clichéd rule you live your life by.

"Better safe than sorry."

Or

"No guts, No Glory."

My personal view is if your not sure you can trust this woman don´t do it. Yes you should follow your sexual fantasies. But it´s a lot easier to find another chance to make them come true than to have to rebuild your life and reputation.

Big_Joe · 10-12-2009, 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SubMissiveM

I can give in and have very little say in the relationship from this point onwards but indulge my sexual desires and imaginings, or I can back out now and never really go any further with this side of my sexuality. Any thoughts?

Whats actually stopping you from simply waiting and finding another master when you feel more ready? I dont understand why a true master feels that they need blackmail to control a slave and i believe if a master asks this then it's a bad idea. If the slave wants to be blackmailed and so asks the master then this is the only time it is a good idea.

One thing i've found out over time is that there will always be another person out there that shares very similar feelings about master/slave as you and will therefore make a very good slave or master for you.

My final word will be unless you prompted her into the blackmail idea then its not a good idea because she clearly feels like she's to have to use the blackmail material or otherwise she wouldn't need it. So either she just has very little faith in you or she's intending to deliberately break your limits, neither are healthy attributes to a master/slave relationship.

SubMissiveM · 10-12-2009, 08:05 AM

I guess it just feels like I've had these desires for so long, that they need releasing. I'm not sure that I'll ever be fully ready without a push in the right direction, but maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.

It wasn't her idea: I brought up the topic, we discussed it a little and after that she believed it would be a good way for me to overcome my taboos and to enjoy being under her full control, which I admit does appeal but also terrifies.

Domsub · 10-12-2009, 08:14 AM

It might seem like it is defeating the object a bit, but my advice about blackmail is, don't go there, unless you have 100% trust over the other person. Althoigh you both might think it's fun, new and exciting - you cannot let it ruin your life!
Juts be sensible.

Nabusbigbrother · 10-13-2009, 02:33 PM

Who is the girl. i am intrested in that

MercilessDomme · 10-13-2009, 05:16 PM

I've had subs who actually proposed blackmail, but both of them backed out when I took them up on the offer. One cannot blame them of course.
Personally I would not abuse the power; at least I don't think I would. But then again I would not trust others with that kind of power.
Its very dangerous for the sub, but that is an attraction for some. Done properly, with the right dom, I think it would be the best experience you could get.

tilly07 · 10-13-2009, 05:57 PM

Hmm, if I were you play it safe with her and take it small steps at a time. Set limits and so on.

mandible · 10-13-2009, 07:34 PM

I'm quite interested in being a victim, but no financial demands.

Dark_Baron · 10-14-2009, 08:38 PM

A few thoughts:

1. You say you feel that you will never move unless you have that push. Why? Could it be because there are lots of hard limits which if crossed would not crash but break you? Are you sure you want a push to cross them?

2. Are you sure that girl will understand those hard limits or even the meaning of "hard limits"?

3. You might make an initial arrangent with her about where you would stop but do you trust her? I don't know how well you know her but you said you know each other online from here. How "well" could that be? What if she NEVER stops? What if she extends her domination on you even outside the boundaries of your "game" ruining your whole life?

4. Read my post about a submissive's crash here, including my last reply I posted today. http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=32628.

5. Being a total slave can be thilling but without trust it could be a thriller. Remember this.

10-12-2009, 03:46 AM	#1
SubMissiveM Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Britain Posts: 43 Blog Entries: 2	Voluntary Blackmail? There's a girl I know online from here that wants me to submit to her via blackmail. I'm naturally quite a reserved person, and it's hard for me to do almost anything for her without feeling guilty or something else. Now she wants me to submit fully and explore my greatest fantasies and be her little bitch, which scares the hell out of me but also arouses me. I can give in and have very little say in the relationship from this point onwards but indulge my sexual desires and imaginings, or I can back out now and never really go any further with this side of my sexuality. Any thoughts?

10-12-2009, 08:14 AM	#5
Domsub getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: uk Posts: 283	i hope this helps It might seem like it is defeating the object a bit, but my advice about blackmail is, don't go there, unless you have 100% trust over the other person. Althoigh you both might think it's fun, new and exciting - you cannot let it ruin your life! Juts be sensible.

10-13-2009, 05:16 PM	#7
MercilessDomme Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 111 Blog Entries: 1	I've had subs who actually proposed blackmail, but both of them backed out when I took them up on the offer. One cannot blame them of course. Personally I would not abuse the power; at least I don't think I would. But then again I would not trust others with that kind of power. Its very dangerous for the sub, but that is an attraction for some. Done properly, with the right dom, I think it would be the best experience you could get. __________________ I'm not really merciless!. It's just a playname. If I do not reply to your message, it is because I do not consider it to be worthy of a response.

10-13-2009, 05:57 PM	#8
tilly07 Account Banned Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Currently lost.. Posts: 204 Blog Entries: 1	Hmm, if I were you play it safe with her and take it small steps at a time. Set limits and so on. __________________ “I know it seems hard sometimes but remember one thing. Through every dark night, theres a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out, keep ya head up.... and handle it.”-Tupac Shakur

10-14-2009, 08:38 PM	#10
Dark_Baron Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Europe Posts: 66	A few thoughts: 1. You say you feel that you will never move unless you have that push. Why? Could it be because there are lots of hard limits which if crossed would not crash but break you? Are you sure you want a push to cross them? 2. Are you sure that girl will understand those hard limits or even the meaning of "hard limits"? 3. You might make an initial arrangent with her about where you would stop but do you trust her? I don't know how well you know her but you said you know each other online from here. How "well" could that be? What if she NEVER stops? What if she extends her domination on you even outside the boundaries of your "game" ruining your whole life? 4. Read my post about a submissive's crash here, including my last reply I posted today. http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=32628. 5. Being a total slave can be thilling but without trust it could be a thriller. Remember this. Last edited by Dark_Baron; 10-14-2009 at 08:45 PM.

10-12-2009, 03:50 AM	#2
kinkyboy808 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11	I suppose it all depends on which clichéd rule you live your life by. "Better safe than sorry." Or "No guts, No Glory." My personal view is if your not sure you can trust this woman don´t do it. Yes you should follow your sexual fantasies. But it´s a lot easier to find another chance to make them come true than to have to rebuild your life and reputation.

10-12-2009, 08:05 AM	#4
SubMissiveM Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Britain Posts: 43 Blog Entries: 2	I guess it just feels like I've had these desires for so long, that they need releasing. I'm not sure that I'll ever be fully ready without a push in the right direction, but maybe that's a good thing, I don't know. It wasn't her idea: I brought up the topic, we discussed it a little and after that she believed it would be a good way for me to overcome my taboos and to enjoy being under her full control, which I admit does appeal but also terrifies.

10-13-2009, 02:33 PM	#6
Nabusbigbrother Account Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Irvine, California Posts: 12	Who is the girl. i am intrested in that

10-13-2009, 07:34 PM	#9
mandible Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 49	I'm quite interested in being a victim, but no financial demands.