New to GetDare

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Hello Everyone. Since my first thread of advice has gained attention and even has encouraged people to make their own educational threads, I bring you this, Things you should do if you are new to GetDare.

On every website that requires you to make an account, there is always the push to fill in a profile. On GetDare it is important to have your profile filled out and I am not just saying this. Here are a few reasons why you should fill out a profile.

1. Person above dares: A lot of these dares are based off of like, dislikes, and limits. Putting these things into a blog post with a link in your signature or directly in your signature can help others give you dares that you will actually do.

2. Hi I am a (insert gender/age and other information here). I want dares. When you make these posts, without your likes, dislikes, limits, toys, and possibly even living situation, people find it hard to give you tasks and will skip over your thread without any thought at all. If you have this information either linked in your signature or mentioned directly in your signature, you increase your chances of getting an actual dare.

3. Creating ads. If you do not fill out your profile, many people are going to think that you are a fake or you do not really care about the site at all and you are just here to be a troll and are not worth the waste of time. If you take the time to fill out your profile, people can see that you actually want to be here. It lets people know that you are serious enough about your ad that you are willing to take the time to fill out your profile.

Other things you should do:

1. Post! There are a lot of punishment/ denial/ person above/ and other threads that take very little time and energy commitment. Being active in this community will help make you friends and people will also take you more seriously when they see that you want to be here. It is how I have met some of the people on this site. Also it gives you an idea of how good/creative your ideas may be. Don't be afraid to let those ideas fly because you never know when it could be a success. (Insert shameless plug for my Denial Raffle here:/ Link is in my signature)

2. Message people that interest you. Of course you need to send a message with some details. Hi I am a 20 year old female. I was reading over your profile and I see we have a lot of likes in common. How did you find your interests in this subject. Or Hi I am new to this website. I see we have a lot of interests. Can you give me advice on how to take the best advantage of this forum?

Fill out your profile to let people know what you are looking for. I specifically have things mentioned in my profile and signature to avoid certain relationships on this site. If you are interested in looking for a master, then say so. If you want to just take pm dares, say so. If you want communication, mention that.

Here is a list of dos:

1. Do give reports even if they are brief. Telling someone how successful or unsuccessful their dare was for you not only helps them give you better dares next time, but it helps encourage people to actually give dares. It also proves that you probably did the dare and are not a fake. If a person takes time to send you a dare that you ask for and agree upon, then you have time to write something up for them on how it went. Side note: If you give someone a dare, do not be afraid to ask questions on how they like it and how it went. That will help you grow to write better dares and tasks.

2. Do the dares you ask for as long as they are in your limits and your means. What I mean by this is if you create a thread asking for dares, do the dares. Post a thank you and a report. If you do not like the dare refer the person to your likes and limits and ask them to try again or to make a compromise.

3. Do read the advice section, the rules, and the little stickies. There is a lot of good information if you are new to GetDare, BDSM, different tasks and more. There is a lot of information on which dares are bad dares, which tasks could be bad for your health, the definition of transgender ( here is a plug for sassy tomato), how to write and respond to ads (Thekidwithskills plug here), and other important information on how to have fun. They are their for your benefits.

4. Do reply to someone's story if you think it is good. The writers like hearing your compliments and helps them continue writing what they are writing. This goes for dare threads. If you do the dare, post a report or a reply stating how it went and thanking them or constructive advice for the dare. It is appreciated I promise.
My final list is a do not list:

1. Do not make your kik the same as your username if you do not want to be found without telling people. It is advisable to have a outside communication source because the GetDare messenger only works for so much, but again be smart and leave your personal details out.

2. Personal details: This is still the internet. We are still strangers. If you want to talk to someone that is fine. Be careful what information you share. I personally have not come across someone who has bad intentions, but you never know what can happen so just use common sense

3. A great piece of advice given to me is you cannot make everyone happy. There are people who want relationships, but you may not be feeling them. THAT IS OKAY!!!! Do not force a relationship with someone you do not see eye to eye with because it can turn out miserable for the both of you. I have said no to plenty of guys because I am not looking to be a sub or a mistress. You do not have to do anything you do not want to.

4. Do not lie. People on here want to talk to people. People will find out if you are telling the truth. It works out better for you if you are straightforward right up front. Sure some people may not talk to you because of your gender or likes and limits, but you know what, are they really a good fit for you anyways? Be yourself. Let who you are shine. There is nothing wrong with being you.

I have not covered everything. I have probably missed more somethings than I can think of. As like before, I am interested to hear what you have to say. Is there a way we could mentor new members to GetDare? Is there some advice you have for new members that I have not experienced? DO you know something that contradicts what I have to say? I want to hear it all. The reason for this post is to help guide people into being active members of a community. Go have fun, be safe, and make friends. You will never know what you may find.

As always- WedgieBondageBabe.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

Hello Everyone. Since my first thread of advice has gained attention and even has encouraged people to make their own educational threads, I bring you this, Things you should do if you are new to GetDare.

On every website that requires you to make an account, there is always the push to fill in a profile. On GetDare it is important to have your profile filled out and I am not just saying this. Here are a few reasons why you should fill out a profile.
I actually won't dare or talk to people besides a brief conversation when I see their profile isn't filled out, it doesn't tell me anything.

1. Person above dares: A lot of these dares are based off of like, dislikes, and limits. Putting these things into a blog post with a link in your signature or directly in your signature can help others give you dares that you will actually do.
Since, eventually a lot of likes and limits develop over time, it seems, I suggest putting them in a blog post. Because eventually you'll want your signature for other things. Of course their are exceptions, some people are happy and don't need more room with their likes/limits in their signature.

Person above, I definitely need to know you'd likes or limits.

2. Hi I am a (insert gender/age and other information here). I want dares. When you make these posts, without your likes, dislikes, limits, toys, and possibly even living situation, people find it hard to give you tasks and will skip over your thread without any thought at all. If you have this information either linked in your signature or mentioned directly in your signature, you increase your chances of getting an actual dare.
The information in your signature greatly improves your chances and take time on the thread. Posting just that is going to get your thread glossed over.

3. Creating ads. If you do not fill out your profile, many people are going to think that you are a fake or you do not really care about the site at all and you are just here to be a troll and are not worth the waste of time. If you take the time to fill out your profile, people can see that you actually want to be here. It lets people know that you are serious enough about your ad that you are willing to take the time to fill out your profile.
Filling out your profile will help you get a good match too.


Other things you should do:

1. Post! There are a lot of punishment/ denial/ person above/ and other threads that take very little time and energy commitment. Being active in this community will help make you friends and people will also take you more seriously when they see that you want to be here. It is how I have met some of the people on this site. Also it gives you an idea of how good/creative your ideas may be. Don't be afraid to let those ideas fly because you never know when it could be a success. (Insert shameless plug for my Denial Raffle here:/ Link is in my signature)
Also if you don't want to post/do dares, there is the truth and story section or you can even just go in the chat room and chat.

2. Message people that interest you. Of course you need to send a message with some details. Hi I am a 20 year old female. I was reading over your profile and I see we have a lot of likes in common. How did you find your interests in this subject. Or Hi I am new to this website. I see we have a lot of interests. Can you give me advice on how to take the best advantage of this forum?
Definitely details are key. They are always needed.

Fill out your profile to let people know what you are looking for. I specifically have things mentioned in my profile and signature to avoid certain relationships on this site. If you are interested in looking for a master, then say so. If you want to just take pm dares, say so. If you want communication, mention that.
Don't worry if it's different. I don't care for a relationship with who I play with most of the time, if it's proven they read and care about others.

Most people care and want communication, guess what, no one I don't think is a douchebag judges me for it. Even the douches don't judge me for it.

Here is a list of dos:

1. Do give reports even if they are brief. Telling someone how successful or unsuccessful their dare was for you not only helps them give you better dares next time, but it helps encourage people to actually give dares. It also proves that you probably did the dare and are not a fake. If a person takes time to send you a dare that you ask for and agree upon, then you have time to write something up for them on how it went. Side note: If you give someone a dare, do not be afraid to ask questions on how they like it and how it went. That will help you grow to write better dares and tasks.
I give private reports at time or in my blog. So reports are a good way to get good reputation.

And definitely ask questions when giving a dare and if someone points out, it isn't possible, please make modifications. It saves you both trouble.

2. Do the dares you ask for as long as they are in your limits and your means. What I mean by this is if you create a thread asking for dares, do the dares. Post a thank you and a report. If you do not like the dare refer the person to your likes and limits and ask them to try again or to make a compromise.
Doing the dares are fun and you get no fun when not doing the dares.

3. Do read the advice section, the rules, and the little stickies. There is a lot of good information if you are new to GetDare, BDSM, different tasks and more. There is a lot of information on which dares are bad dares, which tasks could be bad for your health, the definition of transgender ( here is a plug for sassy tomato), how to write and respond to ads (Thekidwithskills plug here), and other important information on how to have fun. They are their for your benefits.
Any advice will help you.

4. Do reply to someone's story if you think it is good. The writers like hearing your compliments and helps them continue writing what they are writing. This goes for dare threads. If you do the dare, post a report or a reply stating how it went and thanking them or constructive advice for the dare. It is appreciated I promise.
However, don't write how the story should end in your reply. Suggestions are alright but not a take over.

Compliments are great and I like to know who is interested. Feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated.

My final list is a do not list:

1. Do not make your kik the same as your username if you do not want to be found without telling people. It is advisable to have a outside communication source because the GetDare messenger only works for so much, but again be smart and leave your personal details out.
I suggest not making it the same as some users on here, have different usernames then kik and try to harass others via kik if they can figure them out.

And some people are just generally rude me obnoxious when chatting privately.

2. Personal details: This is still the internet. We are still strangers. If you want to talk to someone that is fine. Be careful what information you share. I personally have not come across someone who has bad intentions, but you never know what can happen so just use common sense
2nd this.

3. A great piece of advice given to me is you cannot make everyone happy. There are people who want relationships, but you may not be feeling them. THAT IS OKAY!!!! Do not force a relationship with someone you do not see eye to eye with because it can turn out miserable for the both of you. I have said no to plenty of guys because I am not looking to be a sub or a mistress. You do not have to do anything you do not want to.
Defintley don't force it. It hurts you both in the end.

4. Do not lie. People on here want to talk to people. People will find out if you are telling the truth. It works out better for you if you are straightforward right up front. Sure some people may not talk to you because of your gender or likes and limits, but you know what, are they really a good fit for you anyways? Be yourself. Let who you are shine. There is nothing wrong with being you.
Lieing will hurt your reputation, and once you start telling the truth, you're earning everyone's trust back and you'll never fully get it back.

I have not covered everything. I have probably missed more somethings than I can think of. As like before, I am interested to hear what you have to say. Is there a way we could mentor new members to GetDare? Is there some advice you have for new members that I have not experienced? DO you know something that contradicts what I have to say? I want to hear it all. The reason for this post is to help guide people into being active members of a community. Go have fun, be safe, and make friends. You will never know what you may find.

As always- WedgieBondageBabe.

There isn't a way to mentor new members on here, sadly.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Thank you for adding information. I wish there was a way, but maybe that could be a way to start a new conversation between people. If you see someone who is successful in threads or someone you would want advice from, ask for help.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Also if anyone has any threads they think go unnoticed or you think would be a great start for new or bored members, please post them here. List the topic they cover.

[Jaro]

Thank you for this post, it is pretty helpful. I have only very recently joined getDare and I am yet to get more dares. I hope your tips will help towards that end.

[sir stefan]

How fun!... A well meant advice to newcomers!!!
Today I was thinking of a thread like this. I joined few month ago and learned on the way.
A few more:
--------

HAVE FUN
Whatever we say in this thread,... HAVE FUN.....
Getdare is a wonderfull site. With males, females, doms, subs, taskgivers, tasktakers,,...... Everybody..... Threads, blogs, chatroom, stories, private messages.
It is a wonderfull place to hide. To live the kink that is hidden from RL. To discuss, to meet, to play, to learn, to enjoy. Live your kink. Meet wonderfull people. HAVE FUN!!!!

Pictures:
Just say what you want to do with pics in your likes/dislikes/limits. Especially females. Its a big topic. If you are not sure, than donot let it open but put it in limits, you can always change later. If you leave it open you will get overloaded with uneasy questions.

Pictures:
NEVER post a picture if you donot like it. just say NO. Pictures are forever on internet. Most likely you will grow-up (not assuming you are any age right now ), will get different life,..... you may regret.

Pictures:
IF you send pictures: do without face. Or at least do without face for a month such that you know what you are doing if you decide otherwise.

Safety:
If taking dares/tasks: think about your safety. You will get tasks from reasonable people who really thought about safety. You will get tasks from people who don't give a shit, they only post because it arrouses them to post someting kinky. In both cases safety is YOUR concern and only yours. Even (actually ESPECIALLY) when getting a task from a reasonable person (because the others are so obvious): the task-giver does not know your limits. The task-giver may have overlooked something. The task-giver is not there to see that you did everything right.
Note: good change that both you and the task-giver have english as second language and simply miscommunicate. Or the "objects" as described in the task are different from country to country.
just to let you know: in 3 occasions I had a "not as intended" executed task (as task-giver) as result of miscommunication or small task-ommision. In all cases no real harm was done, but in all cases it did hurt me a lot that this happened while the task-taker obviously also got hurt much more than intended.
(A cornertime ended up into 4hr instead of 20minutes, An implement was used for 60 hits instead of 60 rubs, A dicegame requiring 6 to terminate ended up in 20rounds instead of the intended 5..10).

be aware of the 2 types of members
In my opinion, getdare has 2 types of members (and a grey areain between):
- People who are here for the surface. Like posting a flashing daring kinky task for the fun of posting. Like to ask for punishmenst to see what gets posted. Like reading extremes. Like to post daring responses. Like to thrill.
- People wo are here for the inner. People who want to know the person behind a request. People who like to know the person who is task-giving.
There is nothing wrong with either of these types. But it gets significant friction if these types mix. It would be good to think which type you identify with (there is grey area ). And to try to communicate with people of the same type.

Check Profiles
You are not responing to a site, not responding to a computer, you are responding to a live human being. The human being may be as described in the profile, or the human being may have different age or gender than in the profile but still is a human being. Every single letter on this site is typed by a living human being.
Personally, before doing any pm, before responding to any thread (other than the game-threads, but even then....), i check the profile of the one I am responding to. I do as task-giver, I recommend to do in any other position. Check profile, check likes/dislikes/limits, check blog, check last 50 posts.
After you did that, you have a reasonable idea about who you are responding to.

Write posts
(Already mentioned by Wedgiebondagebabe)
Until you post-counter hits approximately 50, people will have difficulty to identify you. By posting you create your footprint. People will see consistancy in you posts and start trusting your profile (or not), people will see that you do good reports or good tasks (or not), people will see your character.
A simple way to start would be to join some "punishment thread" as giver or taker. You can demonstrate your reporting or task-giving skills and get used to the dynamics. Or do a "person-above" game. In all cases, being serious helps .

get used to stupid pm's, and embrace the nice ones
Doms, subs, males, females,... All get stupid pm's without any respect. Get used to them. Either answer politely or ignore, but donot let them spoil your day. Look to the nice pm's. They are likely from nice persons. Talk back and have a good time.

[tulipJ]

Wedgiebondagebabe and sir stefan, thank you for the advice. I am kind of new to gd, your ideas and information are quite helpful, some I've experienced, some i hadn't even considered.

[Newslave2betrained]

Thank you for this advice. I will be updating my profile within the next week. This is helped a lot!