The Ward: Room 203

[HottayFerSure]

Anne pressed her cheeks against the glass wall and squinted her eyes, trying to see through it. She did this everyday, hoping the thick glass would somehow grow thinner, but it never did. She sighed and trudged to her chair, the only piece of furniture in the entire room. The only other thing in the room was a list of injunctions, explaining what could happen if you disobeyed these rules. The lights flickered, then completely shut off.

"Help! The lights went out! Somebody, please!" She pleaded through the tiny vent connected to the glass wall.

Anne was terrified of the dark. Was she going insane? Had she not realized that they've done this to her every night for the past week? Her life was like a giant rewind and repeat button, but she never seemed to recall what happened the night before. The lights flashed back on, then off again, just to tease her. Anne banged on the glass walls, determined to break through, but it never seemed to work. She slid down the wall and hugged her legs. She yearned for sound, she was sick of hearing the echoes of her own voice. Was it morning or night? She stopped keeping track of time after the first week. She tugged at the white medical bracelet on her wrist, trying to rip it off. Room 203, the bracelet read. It must have been put there just in case she tried to make an escape. The lights went on yet again, and she made a sigh of relief. On the floor, she discovered there was something there that she hadn't noticed before. It was a tiny box with the number 203, written on it. Anne hurried towards the box and tore it open. Inside, there was a key. Pleasant thoughts filled her mind as she thought of freedom, one of her many false hopes. She raced towards the door to see if the key would work. To her luck, it did. She turned the knob and opened the door, only to find a darkened, narrow hallway, which contained many other doors on the other side, and just one straight ahead.

"That one must be the way out!" She whispered to herself.

Anne made her way to the door ahead of her, not realizing how far it really was. It seemed a million miles away. What she didn't know was that it was really just an illusion, mocking her to keep going forward. The lights went out again, leaving her alone in the dank, gloomy hall. She could have sworn she heard footsteps behind her, the sound getting closer with each breath she took.

There may be a couple of errors. Sorry, I didn't check it over much. Post replies and tell me whatcha think of it so far? =]

[stevedare]

GREAT - keep going

[Zeromus]

I like this. Its quite original

[Sum]

Did you mean to put it in the authors cafe? message me if you meant to put it somewhere else and it needs moving. (i've not given it a proper read right now, too tired)

[HottayFerSure]

i'll post more as soon as i get more feeeedback.

[SubMissChievous]

And until you get more feedback I will move your story to the main stories section as the Author's Cafe is meant for discussions between authors so there your thread will most likely get a bit more readers

[HottayFerSure]

oh i thought the authors cafe was for stories, haha sorry!

[qwertypete]

Nice intro!!! Please continue! Looks awesome so far!

[HottayFerSure]

She could have sworn she heard footsteps behind her, the sound getting closer with each breath she took.
"W-whose there?" She stammered in trepidation.
No one answered. Blood curdling screams emitted throughout the halls, causing her to get even more frightened. She operated straight, not daring to look back. Even if she tried, she wouldn't be able to see anything. The hallway was pitch-black. She was beginning to get tired, but refused stop her legs until she tripped over an unknown object. When she fell, the lights came back on. Within seconds, she let out a deafening shriek.
"Oh my God! Please tell me this isn't happening!God, please!" She prayed, gazing at the remains of a human being which she tripped over.
Blood drained out of the body, leaving an enormous puddle around Anne. She crawled towards the body, seeing no visible wounds. She flipped the body over to find a gaping hole in the humans head. She screamed, and scurried to the nearest door by her, hoping to get away from this madness.
As she entered, she heard something that resembled the sound of a drill. When she turned around, she couldn't believe her eyes. Another victim was having a hole drilled through their head. She tried to escape before they could see her, but it was too late. One of the surgeons caught her and led her towards an empty seat.
"Get your hands off of me!" She flailed around, in fierce contention, trying to release herself from his grasp.
The surgeon positioned her on the seat and shoved a thick needle through her arm. Suddenly, the room became blurry, and Anne quickly dozed off.

It's short, but I will write more soon, It looks like not many people are interested in it anyway.

[applebooty]

This is interesting so far. I'm not sure where you're gonna go with this, but I like it.

Please don't write for the feedback though. Nobody wants to invest themselves in a story that the author may ditch because they aren't satisfied with the number of comments.

[slavea]

remind me of Saw

[qwertypete]

Originally Posted by slavea

remind me of Saw

same...
anyway i already said it was a great intro... the second part leads me to believe she's just going to die, but it could turn around, and I could see how it could turn around.

[the_boy]

sounds good so far, very diferent. I like tha fact that there is an intro and it is not your tipical wam bam thankyou mam.

[HottayFerSure]

The surgeon positioned her on the seat and shoved a thick needle through her arm. Suddenly, the room became blurry, and Anne quickly dozed off.
“That's the fourth time this week that she's escaped. Maybe she's catching onto us." One of the surgeons insisted.
The other surgeon reached for a drill and replied, "She can't be. She doesn't even know where she is everyday she wakes up. I've been observing her actions and she's completely clueless. But now it's time to call for action, so we can make sure this doesn't happen again."
The surgeon turned the drill on, and it made a frightful sound. He then drilled a hole through the back of her head, letting all of the blood drain out before he proceeded. He then patched up the hole and went towards her arm with a scalpel. He split it open within seconds and put an almost invisible piece of metal in it. Stitching it up, he placed another bracelet on her hand that read, Finished Patient. When he finished, he picked her up and placed her in a room, with other patients who had shared the same doom as she did. Shutting the lights, he took one last glance at the patients and left, feeling just a tad guilty.
Morning came as Anne woke up in a nice, warm bed. She took a predilection to this room, mainly because it had a bed. It was white, the only splash of color being a sign that read, Finished Patient. She felt like she had been hit by a truck. When she was about to get up from the bed, a doctor walked in. It was the surgeon.
"Great, you're up!" He said with a smile. He looked down at the clipboard in his hand and wrote something down. Anne stared at him, completely bemused.
"Where am I?" She grunted in pain.
"Well, Anne...You're in the Psychiatric Ward. We had you in solitary confinement for a few days, and you escaped. You grew scared, causing you to harm yourself. Now, you're here." The surgeon explained, hoping she would buy his story.
"You...You look oddly familiar, sir." Anne observed the man's face.

[Officelover]

I've never seen a story quite like this one. It's quite origninal!!!