[Fiction] Captured short stories

[Demonking]

Matman had a good idea for his short stories so I decided to do the same most stories will be 1-3 post longs mostly 1 but if anybody likes one and wants to make a go and write there own story by all means go ahead all I ask is that you give credit wheRe credit is do

I grabbed my keys and my brief case then I sat down to put on my nice boots that I had bought only a week ago. It had been snowing for a few hours now so I decided to leave for work earlier than Normal. Being the winter it's normally darker later so I go out to my car and of course with my luck the remote doesn't work so I put my briefcase on top of the car and go to grab my keys when all of a sudden a rag is covering my mouth and nose forcing me to breath through it I struggle for a few seconds but I pass out.

I wake up slightly confused and blinded by a single fluorescent bulb hanging from the ceiling. I can't really remember where I am or how I got here when I notice there is a tv playing with a news reporter talking about an explosion that occurred only an hour ago.

The report is of my house blowing up! I think to my self how does that happen and where am I. I begin to panic when I realize I'm strapped to a chair that reminds me of the one in my dentist office except this one isn't as nice and has straps instead of dentistry equipment. I quickly calm down and look at the time on the tv and notice it's 7:15 am and I left for work around 6 am. I start to follow what the reporter is saying and find out that I have been declared dead in a gas leak home explosion.

That's when I begin to focus in on the scenario I'm trapped in a room forced to watch Tv. The room is solid white with white tiles on the floor and going about 3/4 the way up the wall almost like an Operating room in a hospital. I look around and besides the tv there is a sink and a hose bib other than that the room is impeccably clean.*

All of a sudden the TV turns off an a man enters the room. The man walks in with a confidence in his step likes he's been here before and will be here again. He has his chin high and back straight he's wearing a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a hawaiian tourist style t shirt. The man begins with a statement that is crisp and clear that tells you not to argue and to obey.

he begins "Hello I am Bruce and by now you should understand that the world thinks your dead so nobody is looking for you and you are you trapped as my new toy."

he pauses and allows me to think about what he said and then continues "as my new toy you are to obey me regardless if you think you should or don't want to do what you are told. As long as you remember that toy we will get along greatly"

[drenan]

Love the story man! The makings of a fantastic adventure

[Demonking]

You guys I have some more drafted but I'm going tk Waite to see if this thread gets a few comments and.a bunch mote vies if.its not popular ill just pm the stories to people

[zoomzoom134]

Your stories ARE GREAT, but people get pissed off when you ask them to beg...

Please keep going...

[Demonking]

I don't ask them to beg I just ask for a bit of feed back some constructive criticism or something to let me know there thoughts

[revealed]

Your story is great! You should definitely write more

[lovaboitoy]

Im enjoying your story so far....be good to have some description about the characters in story....

[Eager26]

but I would also like to see more of this story. The story has an unusual tone, reminds me of a stream of consciousness, and I think that to be able to provide balanced feedback another installment is definately required

That said, I would say that I like the way you relate the setting from the character's point of view, but I agree with lovaboitoy that it'd be good to know a little more about the characters. Everyone loves visualising the scene

[Demonking]

Will do hopefully by Sunday night I will have some more posted

[Demonking]

I was getting out of the pool later than usual today we don't have another meet for a week so I don't have to worry about over working myself. It's my senior Year of high school and I am not the captain of the team but I am one of the hardest working. Our team once you become a senior it's customary to switch from a jammer to a speedo.

I head into the locker room and I'm fairly tan from my job over the summer and my sports keep me in shape so I have a six pack almost an eight, I have obliques and I have killer leg muscles. I walk in and find the entire wrestling team.

Swimmers make fun of wrestlers for being gay since they wear tights and dry hump men for a sport. I think to my self, I'm screwed.*

"hey team look. It's Brad!" says one of the more toned wrestlers with an evil glint in his eye.*

"hey...." I reply back heading to my locker to retrieve my things.

"what are you doing here late?" asks a wrestler sitting in only his jock.*

"practicing by myself in a real sport with actual workouts" I say back to him with a clear defiant attitude.

"and why isn't wrestling an "actual" sport with "real" workouts?" asks the captain of the team.

I simply reply "Because humping men in tights requires no skill at*All."*
After I say that I realize that I'm doomed, I forgot I didn't have my team for support, I forgot I'm outnumbered, I forgot they all are used to fighting people and I had forgot they all hate swimmers for our attitude. I quickly survey the scene and notice 17 of them and 1 of me with absolutely nobody coming to rescue me.

"well we will teach you how wrestling is a real sport" the captain states with a menacing grin signaling to the rest of the team to circle around me.

To be continued...

I got motivated so I wrote it sooner

Let me know what you think thisone will definitely have a sequel

[Eager26]

I think Brad is going to get owned

I like the extra detail about what Brad looks like, and the fact that it puts me in mind of your avatar is no bad thing at all! If I was going to make one additional request regarding technique I might request a little more punctuation, particularly commas, but only if that doesn't slow down the next section

Good luck Brad

[lovaboitoy]

very nice look forward to more!!!

[drenan]

Can't wait to find out what happens to Brad next!!! I hope he gets what he deserves for being a cocky swimmer!!!

[Demonking]

As they all move around me I begin to panic, I begin to wonder what the will do, I begin to think how bad this is about to get. They are all very fit, not one doesn't have a six pack and massive muscles.*

They have me held tightly so I can't move if I tried, not that I'd want to because that would make it worse for me. "Hey swimmer!..." one guy teases "... If were not a real sport we wouldn't sweat so here sniff this and tell me!" a guy says unable to contain his laughter as he puts his sweat stained jock strap over my face like a ski mask forcing me to inhale where his sweaty manhood has been held for the 4 years he has been a wrestler. The smell was putrid and thought that essentially his crotch is being rubbed over my face was enough to embarrass me and I begin to wonder if I begged them to stop if they would.
" I'm sorry I ever doubted wrestling was a sport" I say in a hushed*
Voice so that only the people holding me heard it.

"Hey guys. The little fairy jus said something!" he continues "he said he was sorry for doubting our sport"

"well.. Well.. You obviously don't have respect for it yet otherwise you'd have not given in so early" the captain says in a demeaning tone. " you should know wrestling is about submission and to not go easy on them, you have to dominate them completely, you have to utterly embarrass them which is exactly what is going to happen to you" the captain said in a tone that meant business.*

A group goes into the corner and they begin to talk, I am unable to hear them but I see them keep looking over at me and smiling. I'm not sure if it's because of the jock on my face or for what they have planned. The group disbands and they all start rummaging through there bags until they have one completely gross jock that came from a guy that's been on the team for 8 years which is almost 1/2 of his life.*

"we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Which will it be Brad?" the wrestler asks

"I'll take the easy way" I reply quickly not giving them time to think very hard

"Okay then here put this on" he says handing me the disgusting jock strap which on closer look has cum stains and urine all over it.

I take off my swim trunks and am now standing completely*Exposed to 17 other men. I quickly pull up the jock and quickly pull it into place.

"well that's the easy part now you have to put on the singlet" they say handing me a torn up piece of crap singlet that has things written on it like; free with an arrow pointing to ass, small penis with an arrow pointing to the crotch it had rookie written across the front and on the back it said "fag slut please have your way with me" at the mere sight of this I understood they have a lot planned for me and this will be a long night.



What do you guys think? I'm always up fore improvement on my writing so it's okay if it seems harsh

[Demonking]

Any comments or feedback?