Professional Dominants- Opinions

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 07:07 AM

(they are called all sorts, ATM's , Financial Doms, etc etc ive always known them as Pro Doms)

So, what are your opinions on those who do BDSM for money?

Be considerate, I know a couple of pro Doms s that used to be just 'ordinary' Dominants, I also know a submissive that switched too become a pro Dominant

Some people may have a fetish for it. Some people may like to pay for a Pro than find a Dominant

Please try not to be offensive.

Jah Brother · 11-10-2014, 07:10 AM

It's not my thing, I guess you can compare it to prostitution.

But whatever floats your goat, if they're both into it and with consent, why not?

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jah Brother

It's not my thing, I guess you can compare it to prostitution.

But whatever floats your goat, if they're both into it and with consent, why not?

Its extremely close to prostitution , though I think thats why alot of Pro Doms limit sexual contact.

SandMguy · 11-10-2014, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shibari

Its extremely close to prostitution , though I think thats why alot of Pro Doms limit sexual contact.

There's nothing wrong with either. Except of course where people are pressured into prostitution. I don't think I'd hire a prostitute but I'd possibly hire a dominatrix, even if it involved sexual activity. It can be quite hard to find someone into bdsm and even harder to find a female mistress. I think if at a certain age I've not had some bdsm sex as a submissive ill probably go to a pro domme. There's also the fact that they will know what they are doing and will be great at it.

Also I thought a financial Dom was somebody who made you give them lots of money and buy them stuff, kind of like a bdsm gold digger for people who enjoyed it?

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandMguy

There's nothing wrong with either. Except of course where people are pressured into prostitution. I don't think I'd hire a prostitute but I'd possibly hire a dominatrix, even if it involved sexual activity. It can be quite hard to find someone into bdsm and even harder to find a female mistress. I think if at a certain age I've not had some bdsm sex as a submissive ill probably go to a pro domme. There's also the fact that they will know what they are doing and will be great at it.

Also I thought a financial Dom was somebody who made you give them lots of money and buy them stuff, kind of like a bdsm gold digger for people who enjoyed it?

its only hard to find someone who is into BDSM if you are looking in the wrong places maybe.
And of course location
I know way more people in BDSM then I know pro's.
But like i said, depends on location and how willing you are wanting yo out and search

SandMguy · 11-10-2014, 08:45 AM

I suppose so. There are probably a lot of bdsm clubs I could go to to meet people but even then, I've read, there are around 20 male masochists for every female masochist so it could still be quite hard. My opinion is that pros provide a needed service as I'm sure there are some who can't get involved in bdsm any other way.

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandMguy

I suppose so. There are probably a lot of bdsm clubs I could go to to meet people but even then, I've read, there are around 20 male masochists for every female masochist so it could still be quite hard. My opinion is that pros provide a needed service as I'm sure there are some who can't get involved in bdsm any other way.

My answer is to that is just to go and find out for yourself if thats true. Best thing to do is just to go to find FRIENDS, first. Because that can open doors up. I knew these couple and they invited me to a exclusive BDSM event, and from there ive got to know so many people, and now im attending all sorts of events and meeting all sorts of people, getting the chance to play and such.

An_Jon · 11-10-2014, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shibari

its only hard to find someone who is into BDSM if you are looking in the wrong places maybe.
And of course location
I know way more people in BDSM then I know pro's.
But like i said, depends on location and how willing you are wanting yo out and search

You can search as hard as you want, but sometimes you need a bit of luck. Everyone's experiences are different, just because you found a lot of people you connect with doesn't mean someone else will. In addition - it is a sad fact that straight males will have a much harder task in finding a suitable female than visa versa; it's like loads of people applying for the same job (if you'll forgive the utterly abhorrent analogy).

The BDSM world is full of murky, and quite challenging, waters; sometimes what people need is a friend or a guide to help them get into it otherwise it is very tricky to get established into the scene. Sex, on the whole, is very intimidating, and quite humiliating if you are perceived to be inexperienced. Applying the BDSM world on top of this, then you can see why it may become too much for some people with a different starting mindset to you.

In this case: pro dom(me)s become a much simpler, and more visible, option. It is certainly not the most viable option long-term, but going forward it can be seen as acting like a push-block. I'm not going to get involved with 'ethics' or 'morals' because I've always held the view that whatever people want to get up to in the bedroom is up to them; just so long as it doesn't do any serious harm to others/people don't force their opinions on others.

I hope that clears up what I have to say on this/where this thread was going.

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 09:31 AM

[QUOTE=An_Jon;1555123]You can search as hard as you want, but sometimes you need a bit of luck. Everyone's experiences are different, just because you found a lot of people you connect with doesn't mean someone else will. In addition - it is a sad fact that straight males will have a much harder task in finding a suitable female than visa versa; it's like loads of people applying for the same job (if you'll forgive the utterly abhorrent analogy).

you cant be dependant on luck, somtimes it takes something to change your current situation, alot of it is down to luck-yes but not 100% likebi said it depends on where you live, where you go. Depends on the dynamic of the scene. In my area the scene has alot of transgenders, I travel 100miles and i found a scene that was heterosexuals and bisexuals

The BDSM world is full of murky, and quite challenging, waters; sometimes what people need is a friend or a guide to help them get into it otherwise it is very tricky to get established into the scene. Sex, on the whole, is very intimidating, and quite humiliating if you are perceived to be inexperienced. Applying the BDSM world on top of this, then you can see why it may become too much for some people with a different starting mindset to you

You defaintly need a friend. But I must say I disgaree with you about the whole experiance thing, from my perspective and places ive gone, people have all sorts of experiances and even have none, and thats okay if you are willing to learn, when i first went to a BDSM club I thought i knew alot, but actually i knew nothing! It really opened my eyes and i accept that and now still learn. And tou learn from those you are willing to learn off

An_Jon · 11-10-2014, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shibari

You defaintly need a friend. But I must say I disgaree with you about the whole experiance thing, from my perspective and places ive gone, people have all sorts of experiances and even have none, and thats okay if you are willing to learn, when i first went to a BDSM club I thought i knew alot, but actually i knew nothing! It really opened my eyes and i accept that and now still learn. And tou learn from those you are willing to learn off

Ok, I see your point - experience starting out isn't the issue. However, luck still is. A lot of whether you can invest time/energy or money into the lifestyle depends on circumstance, friends, time/commitments and pro-dom(me)s may seem like the easiest and best solution.

Also, experiences are different for everybody - that's why they're called experiences; everyone's mind works differently. Don't assume that because one route worked for you it'll work for everyone. Again, circumstances and the people met will be different, but so will the learning process and the perception of the world. Indeed, some may feel totally unable to fit into the lifestyle and see pro domming as their only option for interaction.

Essentially, what I'm saying is this: Everyone has to make their own way through something of this nature, and for some that means going down the easier, short term, professional route.

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 09:49 AM

I'm not saying that my route will work for everyone. However I will give advice and help based on my experiences.

Im not going to suggest and help someone with something if Ive never been there for myself, im saying that attending events worked for me, there for might work for you so I recommend it.

By the way what i have said has been NOTHING to do with pro-doms , incase you are getting me mixed up.

An_Jon · 11-10-2014, 09:53 AM

It has worked for me, just playing devils advocate. I find it makes for the better discussions :P.

I was also offering an opinion, as was the reason for this thread.

And I wasn't getting you mixed up. I already know you're a pro-est of all the pro dommes out there. Totally.

Shibari · 11-10-2014, 10:50 AM

What do you mean by pro-est?

An_Jon · 11-10-2014, 11:26 AM

'The most pro' :P

SandMguy · 11-10-2014, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shibari

I'm not saying that my route will work for everyone. However I will give advice and help based on my experiences.

Im not going to suggest and help someone with something if Ive never been there for myself, im saying that attending events worked for me, there for might work for you so I recommend it.

By the way what i have said has been NOTHING to do with pro-doms , incase you are getting me mixed up.

Well based on your albums alone I reckon your route is the best. The problem is I'm a bit nervous about talking to friends about bdsm. Any suggestions on how to make friends directly through bdsm? I'd feel more comfortable talking about it with people who I met that way

11-10-2014, 07:07 AM	#1
Shibari getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: England Posts: 399 Blog Entries: 10	Professional Dominants- Opinions (they are called all sorts, ATM's , Financial Doms, etc etc ive always known them as Pro Doms) So, what are your opinions on those who do BDSM for money? Be considerate, I know a couple of pro Doms s that used to be just 'ordinary' Dominants, I also know a submissive that switched too become a pro Dominant Some people may have a fetish for it. Some people may like to pay for a Pro than find a Dominant Please try not to be offensive.

11-10-2014, 08:45 AM	#6
SandMguy getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: At your feet. Posts: 470 Blog Entries: 2	I suppose so. There are probably a lot of bdsm clubs I could go to to meet people but even then, I've read, there are around 20 male masochists for every female masochist so it could still be quite hard. My opinion is that pros provide a needed service as I'm sure there are some who can't get involved in bdsm any other way. __________________ Male/switch(more of a sub)/straight Likes/Punishments/Limits I can't cum until I'm released from this thread. Please keep that in mind. Last orgasm: 01/18/2015 Longest edge held: 3 minutes 5 seconds. Here are my PM Dares If you want to add any then please message them to me.

11-10-2014, 09:31 AM	#9
Shibari getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: England Posts: 399 Blog Entries: 10	[QUOTE=An_Jon;1555123]You can search as hard as you want, but sometimes you need a bit of luck. Everyone's experiences are different, just because you found a lot of people you connect with doesn't mean someone else will. In addition - it is a sad fact that straight males will have a much harder task in finding a suitable female than visa versa; it's like loads of people applying for the same job (if you'll forgive the utterly abhorrent analogy). you cant be dependant on luck, somtimes it takes something to change your current situation, alot of it is down to luck-yes but not 100% likebi said it depends on where you live, where you go. Depends on the dynamic of the scene. In my area the scene has alot of transgenders, I travel 100miles and i found a scene that was heterosexuals and bisexuals The BDSM world is full of murky, and quite challenging, waters; sometimes what people need is a friend or a guide to help them get into it otherwise it is very tricky to get established into the scene. Sex, on the whole, is very intimidating, and quite humiliating if you are perceived to be inexperienced. Applying the BDSM world on top of this, then you can see why it may become too much for some people with a different starting mindset to you You defaintly need a friend. But I must say I disgaree with you about the whole experiance thing, from my perspective and places ive gone, people have all sorts of experiances and even have none, and thats okay if you are willing to learn, when i first went to a BDSM club I thought i knew alot, but actually i knew nothing! It really opened my eyes and i accept that and now still learn. And tou learn from those you are willing to learn off __________________ Submissive freak . Rope, Shibari/kinbaku. I kiss my enemies lips, while I dance in the flames of the devil, worship the Dominant that guides while I suffer at His feet.

11-10-2014, 09:49 AM	#11
Shibari getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: England Posts: 399 Blog Entries: 10	I'm not saying that my route will work for everyone. However I will give advice and help based on my experiences. Im not going to suggest and help someone with something if Ive never been there for myself, im saying that attending events worked for me, there for might work for you so I recommend it. By the way what i have said has been NOTHING to do with pro-doms , incase you are getting me mixed up. __________________ Submissive freak . Rope, Shibari/kinbaku. I kiss my enemies lips, while I dance in the flames of the devil, worship the Dominant that guides while I suffer at His feet.

11-10-2014, 09:53 AM	#12
An_Jon Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Posts: 603 Blog Entries: 71	It has worked for me, just playing devils advocate. I find it makes for the better discussions :P. I was also offering an opinion, as was the reason for this thread. And I wasn't getting you mixed up. I already know you're a pro-est of all the pro dommes out there. Totally. __________________ Hi, I'm Jon! I like talking to new people. Come and say hello if you'd like to get to know me 26 \| M \| UK \| Bisexual \| Switch \| Punmaster About Me \| My Blog \| BDSM Test Come and play with me: My AMA My KIK - and rules on using it!

11-10-2014, 07:10 AM	#2
Jah Brother Distinguished Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 620 Blog Entries: 3	It's not my thing, I guess you can compare it to prostitution. But whatever floats your goat, if they're both into it and with consent, why not?

11-10-2014, 10:50 AM	#13
Shibari getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: England Posts: 399 Blog Entries: 10	What do you mean by pro-est? __________________ Submissive freak . Rope, Shibari/kinbaku. I kiss my enemies lips, while I dance in the flames of the devil, worship the Dominant that guides while I suffer at His feet.

11-10-2014, 11:26 AM	#14
An_Jon Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Posts: 603 Blog Entries: 71	'The most pro' :P __________________ Hi, I'm Jon! I like talking to new people. Come and say hello if you'd like to get to know me 26 \| M \| UK \| Bisexual \| Switch \| Punmaster About Me \| My Blog \| BDSM Test Come and play with me: My AMA My KIK - and rules on using it!