Limits?

[Bloxo]

Evening all,
So everyone has limits...yes, even you No limits people have limits! Just admit it and move on haha...

This thread is asking if there is a story behind any of your limits?

Are some of them due to your individual circumstances, is it just because you aren't interested in that kink?

Naturally some will be just because...no way! I'm not doing that!

But this thread is more for people that may have tried something that they hated, or had a really terrible experience with.

For example...I see most girls have messy as a limit, when sometimes these dares can be relatively simple, is this because you have no interest at all, are worried about the extremes that people may take it to, that you don't want to feel gross...or tried it and hated it?

Are there some interesting limit stories out there?

[KittenLicks]

My limits, as of this post are:

Public.
Revealing my face.
Sleeping dares
Anything messy in my hair
Violations of common sense.

The first two are fairly obvious, and the third is simply because I don't sleep well, and I don't want dares screwing around with that. Anything messy in my hair is something I discovered recently, because of, well, one of Bloxo's threads. I love my hair, nothing is going in it. >

Then finally "Violations of common sense" was added as a "rule zero", simply because I like covering my bases like that. ^.^

[Butterfly]

I have a pretty detailed limits list. I will list them all and explain most of them here:

Extreme pain
I have a low pain tolerance on certain parts of my body. I am not a masochist, and I have seen some of the amounts of pain that some people can handle or like to dish out. This is always worth a discussion and of course "extreme" is very subjective so I will always use a safeword if it gets to be too much.

Public
This makes me way too anxious and the thought of being caught DOES NOT turn me on at all.

Name calling
I grew up being verbally abused. I don't mind some pet names, like sweetie, honey etc. But things like slut, whore, etc. are not the way to make me melt. Even some names such as Baby make me cringe. People should always refer to me by Butterfly unless a discussion has occurred.

Not wearing a bra
This is something I can handle at home, but being around other people, or being in public without a bra is not ok. I have a very large chest and not only is it embarrassing, but it is uncomfortable for me to not wear a bra.

Wooden spoons
Due to abuse as a child, this is a psychological trigger and I can't handle even a playful tap on my butt with a wooden spoon. For the same reason, I have a hard time using a wooden paddle, or any other wooden instruments. This is something that may become a soft limit with the right person as attention and care would need to be used, but as of right now I just list it as a limit.

Kneeling in the corner/regular cornertime
Again, due to abuse as a child, I cannot mentally handle this.

Pictures/Video
If I know you, I am very open with sending photos and videos of my everyday life, and sometimes even of me. But it is a limit for people to demand these things from me. Pictures and videos are private and personal and they will be sent on my own terms. You may ask, but you better respect my decision if it is no, and never expect them from me. I also do not want to receive naked photos of you without asking my permission first. Dick pics are not a turn on.

Gags
I can get very claustrophobic. And having something in my mouth has proven to be a challenge for me. It is something I may want to explore more with the right person, but not something that can be expected of me.

Impact play as punishment
Again this is due to triggers of abuse

Caging/Confinement
Again this is due to being claustrophobic.

Panties inside me
This is just painful, and awkward and no.

Ass to Mouth
Just yuck.

Scat/Pee
Another yuck

Denial (more than 5 days)
This is something that I have written about in more detail here.

Fire/Needles/Knife/Cutting/Blood
Blood makes me faint. I have a history of self harm so I stay away from body modifications as it is a slippery slope for me. I also have a fear of fire.

Face Slapping
The humiliation of it, as well as the violence being a trigger to past abuse.

Head Shaving
I like my hair!

Roleplay
Roleplay is something that makes me feel silly. I don't mind doing something like an interrogation where it can be a bit of pretend, but feels real, but when it comes to pretending to be a student and teacher, I get super giggly and awkward. Especially if this is done online in writing only.

Hypnosis
This is something that doesn't really work for me.

Blackmail

Breath Play/Choking/Causing me to gag during oral/Deepthroating
Due to being claustrophobic.

Clit torture
My clit likes things gentle.

Gaping/Fisting
I am just not interested in this right now.

Food insertions
This is something that can be a soft limit depending on the food. For example I have used ginger for figging. However, I would rather not insert food inside my ass or vagina.

Collars
Again, because I am claustrophobic. I would be open to another symbol of submission, but nothing tight around my neck.

Ice in my ass
This is too painful and not a sensation that I am interested in.

[Butterfly]

Also for me "messy" is a soft limit/hate. More so because I hate feeling sticky and dirty.

[Happy Me]

I think my only out of the normal limit is “sleeping on the floor”, this is because I have a mild back injury that gets bad when I lay down on the floor.

I’ve done messy play before a few times, the tone was well set (playful, dommy, giggling, blushing), the messiest was like a whole ice cream sunday on my chest. I enjoyed it because the person I was doing it with did it well, but I have to say I was very uncomfortable as soon as all the goo started to dry and my hair was sticking to my face and neck. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it at all if the tone wasn’t set so well.

[Bloxo]

Originally Posted by Happy Me

I think my only out of the normal limit is “sleeping on the floor”, this is because I have a mild back injury that gets bad when I lay down on the floor.

I’ve done messy play before a few times, the tone was well set (playful, dommy, giggling, blushing), the messiest was like a whole ice cream sunday on my chest. I enjoyed it because the person I was doing it with did it well, but I have to say I was very uncomfortable as soon as all the goo started to dry and my hair was sticking to my face and neck. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it at all if the tone wasn’t set so well.

I love this, this sums up messy play so well for me, it really is about the tone and who you play with!
When I have done messy play in real life I have often thought it was missing something, and in truth that was partners who knew how to have fun with it.
Bizarrely I've had better experiences online playing with people, they seemed to enjoy it when they punished me with mess, and ultimately it's much more fun when you know you are making someone happy with your misfortune haha.
I've never really left it long enough to dry...maybe after my thread I'll have to see what that's like hahaha

[Happy Me]

Originally Posted by Bloxo

I love this, this sums up messy play so well for me, it really is about the tone and who you play with!
When I have done messy play in real life I have often thought it was missing something, and in truth that was partners who knew how to have fun with it.
Bizarrely I've had better experiences online playing with people, they seemed to enjoy it when they punished me with mess, and ultimately it's much more fun when you know you are making someone happy with your misfortune haha.
I've never really left it long enough to dry...maybe after my thread I'll have to see what that's like hahaha

I’m so glad you understood what I was saying! Yeah, the entire play session lasted long. I was so desperate to get in the shower at the end!

[amethyst353]

pics with face
I don't quite know what my hangup is with this. I am very open with everyone remotely close to me about my kinky streak. No picture of me reaching someone important to me would really surprise anyone, so the extent. Heck, I've shared lewds with my face to my video game group before. But even though it seems a bit illogical, I can identify a couple of the hangups I have left here. 1. I do some work as a trans advocate, and anti-trans folks love to paint us as sexual deviants, so pictures of me getting out would play into their hand. and 2. There are a number of people here I would be very quick to trust if we interacted one-on-one, but there is no one here I am as close with as I am with the people I am open with under my irl identity. More importantly, I know there are a fair amount of people here I shouldn't trust.

public
A lot of this falls under the hesitations from the last one, but also I just would never want to impose my sexual thrills on someone who hasn't been able to consent to being part of that experience.

Videos
There's no control of what goes out. I can make sure to study the background of a picture and crop out my face, but I can't do that with video.

scat
It's just too yucky for me to try.

extreme pain
I like impact play and it excites me, but anything that has lasting pain or piercing would lose the excitement on my end. I don't want to do damage for something I'm getting nothing out of.

sounding
This may be a dysphoria thing, but just the thought of this makes me shudder. I tried reading Butterfly and Mr. Devious' recent blog on the subject and my heart started pounding in a bad way and I couldn't finish it - so I know there is no way I could ever try this or witness someone else doing it.

I think I am open to at least having a conversation about anything else. I'm sure there are things where after a conversation I would still be like, "that's a hard nope for me," but these are the only things I can think of where even talking about it would be a waste of time.

[FrenziedHazel]

Face pictures / Personal information / Life wrecking

This is basically the stuff that could impact my regular life.

Vaginal/anal pics/stimulation

This is really complex, but in short I don't want my vagina involved unless I know somebody really well. And anything involving the anus is squicky for me.

Degradation

As I see it, embarrassment is pretty harmless low grade self-consciousness. Humiliation is more intense stuff that reduces status - I'm okay with that too.

Degredation is devaluing me, and I don't go for that sort of dynamic.

Fluids

Mostly squicky. I mean, I've had some real life scenes involving them, but I'm not going into nuances. I'm a bit of a clean-freak.

The usual extremes

This is a catchall. I won't chop my leg off, or involve the non-consenting, etc.

Lines

It sounds petty, but ugh. I had problems handwriting as a kid, and just nope.

Full public

I don't want witnesses. I guess it comes under life wrecking.

Of course, now I feel I want to rewrite my limits

[SLPrince]

Orgasm Control

After having tried orgasm control in the past, I found it interfered too much in my regular life and I need to keep my kink and normal life separate.

Heavy spanking (leaves marks)

Long story short - I CAN'T do marks/bruising, regardless of me KNOWING it's consensual, it makes me think of abuse so I just stay away from it.

Public/Semi-public

I've tried being open to public/semi public dares before, and they've given me far too much anxiety to be "fun". The only exception being when I do it with a friend so i'm not doing it alone.

Family/Friends

Self explanatory

Face

Self explanatory

[Scrap]

I actually had to go look at what I have listed as my limits.

illegal- duh
social suicide- until I get a Sugar Momma/Daddy, I still have to make a living.
scat- Um... gross.
blood- this is more for health and safety. I don't trust bare sharps in anyone's hands but my own. I do not, however, have any qualms about menstrual blood.
young- Aside from the legal issues involved, I was abused growing up. I WILL NOT do that to another.

[IceMaiden]

Soft limits: (Only my Dom can have me do these.)

AtM:

I find this disgusting. It makes me feel sick and I am just completely repulsed by it. I also don't think it is healthy/safe if there is ...you know, visible mess.

Begging:

This is a trigger for traumatic childhood memories. Think begging not to be hurt anymore as a young child. I can do this with my dom with extreme care, guidance, support and aftercare but it never gets less difficult.

Corner time:
Nope. Even 5 minutes has me wondering why I am there, why did I do x thing which put me here, why do I suck so much, I am a terrible person and I am here because no one can be bothered with me and I have been abandoned.

Pee drinking:
Something else I find disgusting and makes me feel nauseous for hours after.

Pet play:
I like degradation play when it's done in a way to turn me on. Pet play has the opposite effect and degrades me in a negative way and makes me feel silly and stupid and ashamed.

Confined spaces, extreme restrictive bondage, hoods etc over my face:
I am claustrophobic.


Hard limits: First I want to note that I am one of those people who have no limits with my Dom. So even though I class these as hard limits, if AM wanted me to do one of them then I would, provided I was sure it wouldn't harm me in the long term. If I was absolutely certain it would harm me then no I wouldn't and if he insisted...we'd be parting ways due to his very own order of "If I ever harm you, leave." I will never do any of these for anyone else though. Not ever. AM once said "She doesn't have limits, but there ARE limits." And I think that sums it up perfectly. If he were to have me do any of these then he would be 500% sure I could manage it and that I was safe.

Alcohol/intoxication:
A history of alcohol abuse to the point I was addicted for a long time.

Food control/Forced exercise:
I have struggled with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and purging for at least 15 years of my life. I almost killed myself several times with this. I don't want to ever be back in that cycle.

Watching myself naked (Mirrors, cam etc):
This stems into the above, I can not look at myself without being negative and picking out every flaw whether real or imagined. The times I did try immediately had me restricting food, upping exercise and so on. It is a slippery slope and one I have to be careful with every single day.

Permanent/dangerous:
I am not going to seriously hurt or injure myself. I like being alive!

Scat/Vomit/Blood/Period play:

I just find these ewww. I can handle vomit from deepthroating but that is all. Scat, I have lightly played with by pooping in a nappy but I was so grossed out and ashamed and hated how it felt I cried so hard for the 45 minutes it took me to clean myself up. I enjoy feeling ashamed in a kinky arousing way but not that way. I was just disgusted and broken and needed serious aftercare. Blood...this is something I have a slight interest in such as knife play but due to a history of self harm I don't think it is wise to engage. And period play I just find sooooo gross!

Family/friends:
While the majority of people in my life know about my kinky side and don't judge me for it, I am not going to involve them when they haven't consented to it.

Pics/Cam:
This ties into my limits of food and exercise and mirrors - I don't like people seeing and judging me. I don't like the feeling of sending a picture and then thinking "they will be disgusted and aren't going to talk to me ever again." I found it SO HARD to follow through on my promise from one of my recent threads of posting pictures from a play session. I still want to delete them all even though it would mean breaking my promise. Now with that said, if I know 100% that I wont be judged AND trust someone 100% I am okayish sharing pictures. Not really 100% comfortable or something I actively seek out unless you are AM, but something I can bring myself to do sometimes. With AM, I know without a doubt he likes every single part of me so I have no problem sending him stuff and even like to on occasion. But I still wont look back at the pictures I send him or I start insulting myself. They are immediately deleted.

Anal:
This is more AM's limit than mine. I like anal most of the time, but he wants something just for him so it is offlimits unless he allows it.

Visible marks/bruises:
I have a child and he isn't seeing this stuff.

Degradation:
With AM, I love this play. It has taken us a long time to get me to a place where I know everything he says is for the benefit of the scene and he doesn't actually mean the cruel things he says. But I love and trust AM with my life and he is the only person I will ever allow to treat me this way.

[lilith_]

poop/drinking pee: terribly gross, it's the biggest no.

covering my face/caging: I am claustrophobic so I cannot handle these. I think I might be okay with collars but I have never had one so I can't tell.

electro play: I'm terrified of electricity.

ice or toothpaste inside vagina/ass/figging/hot sauce: terribly painful for me.... Pain on those two places can bring horrible flashbacks and panic attacks, it will forever be a hard limit. However, running an ice cube over these parts is okay. But holding it there for more than a few seconds it gets painful.

Vomit: I absolutely HATE it. It can bring so much anxiety and it makes me feel absolutely terrible and depressed. It feels like I am puking all of my energy and soul and then I am completely exhausted and depressed. Huge limit. Also it can bring flashbacks.

Intoxication: I cannot drink because of medication but I would NEVER do a scene while being intoxicated (alcohol or drugs). Never. It can bring back many bad memories of my abuse and also apart from that I think BDSM should only happen when strictly all the participants are SOBER. Especially if you are a Dom you have to be fully present. I would NEVER play with someone who is drunk or drugged. Never.

Punching/yelling: because of past abuse. I cannot handle yelling at all. When I hear someone yelling, even on tv, I either panic or I dissociate (I lose touch with reality and it feels like I am just observing a fake reality, either the world feels fake or myself feels like a stranger. Hard to explain). Also these things can trigger regression, but not the kinky kind at all, it makes me feel very small, unprotected, unsafe and I have to run and hide immedietly.

Pain as punishment: In general I have a good relationship with pain. It is surprising considering my childhood abuse... But it is a GREAT thing that it can now be a turn on in a safe environment. In general I have perverted a lot of insecurities and fears that I have. However pain comes a limit when it comes to punishments. It would be traumatic if someone used pain on me when I am being punished.

Needles: they terrify me.

[Jaro]

My limits are kind of flexible for my Misses as I am in a blackmail-type relationship with them. So they are allowed to push them which they have done a little. But mostly they still respect them.

pics/cam/voice
This is the only limit that officially does not apply at all for my Misses. They have seen and heard me many times fully and I enjoy that. But for everyone else this does, mostly, apply, especially when it would reveal my identity.
I find it highly dangerous to share any such material with total strangers and I am often confused why so many people do it.
And people who think things like temporary exposed and snapchat are safe are obviously highly mistaken. Anything you share online is there to stay (in some form).

public
By this I mean full public and I hate it. Not only because you are forcing your kink unto others which I think you shouldn't do, but also because I really have no desire at all to embarrass myself in public. Also this could have major repercussions like social suicide, getting fired or even arrest.

tasting poo
I didn't list this simply as 'scat', like most do because I do like things like messing my diaper, pooping in weird ways/places and being degraded. Once Miss ordered me to roll around naked in my own poop which was a bridge too far but still not a limit. But I never ever EVER want to put it in my mouth. That must be just the most disgusting thing imaginable and also ties into my second limit.

unhealthy
Anything that is hazardous to my health and have any bad long term effects I will not do. And yes, I think eating poop, even if it's your own, must be very unhealthy. I realize many kinks carry some form of risk which I am okay with and willing to accept. But when I KNOW for certain that something is really unhealthy and dangerous I won't do it.

ball busting
With this I don't mean just spanking my balls but rather the more extreme hitting like getting them kicked, dropping books on them or even hitting them with a hammer. Yes, apparently some people do that and I really do not want to experience such extremities, also because I think that is too dangerous and thus, yes: unhealthy. But my Misses, especially Miss Icey, really like to hit them so maybe they will actually start touching on this limit; and I really hope they don't.

[levu]

legal or exceptional social trouble. I have a fear of that and don't want to face prison or shunning

human waste that's basic health and safety

money I'm poor and trying to change that not exacerbate it

more than moderate pain I have autism including a sensory processing disorder I can't handle pain well
cross dressing reinforcing lgbtphobias just don't find either appropriate as kinks and they turn me off.
Chastity/denial for more than a couple hours on top of rules against it, such as in my PM dares, it also doesn't take long to get overwhelming I can go says not in denial but in denial I go crazy fast
full public basically an extension on my first limit

body writing it hurts my hand to write plus it's a semi permanent concept

degradation insults just turn me off

Permanent it goes contrary to the idea of consent