Slaves Night of Depravity

[Komodo Jones]

Tobias, not many guy on guy stories here but not finding offense since I myself am bi. First I must say, great start you make sure to tell what the characters look like you don't use details sparingly, and seeing that the main story is going to start soon, although I'm not much for graphic things, I guess one could say you don't rush into things while on the same spectrum you do. Having said that, I do have a few suggestions to make your story better. Like I said the topic is great, premise is good, exposition, format, and a whole bunch of other literary terms that I'm not going to bore you with so keep that up. I did notice that there were some mechanical/spelling errors. The one I noticed the most was every time you said the word "were" it comes across as "where." Also, and this is just my opinon you may think differently, that when someone is addressing as Master or Daddy that person is a superior and therefore needs to be addressed with a capital letter as a proper noun, but that's just my opinion because I always address my Goddess with a capital letter, but that may be a stylistic choice for, it's just a suggestion. However, despite the few errors that I have spotted, they're not truly significant enough to take away from the quality from the story. This may be my last comment on this story as I don't deal with graphic things all that well but I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.