That crazy school trip... (Fiction)

[molten man]

Take your time but make it good..

[irish_girl18]

omg, plz keep writing this is sooo good!!!

[The Judge]

totally awsome! Guilty of Perfectness

[coolio5]

Hey guys so sorry for the wait. But here it is the next part:

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CHAPTER 8

We kept playing our little game. We were walking through the shopping district that afternoon, and thanks to our earlier excitement, the cum had dried n my boxers and they were kinda uncomfortable. So when we got into one of the stores, Lindsey dared me to buy a pair of undies, then go back into the fitting rooms, change, but keep my old boxers in the bag.

"Ok, thats easy" I said.

"One catch though..." she continued, "I get to pick out what you have to wear."

"Uh...ok?" Now i was a little nervous.

She immediately headed towards the Ladies Lingerie section and i got a lot more nervous.

I stepped into the next section, Men's Wear (i thought it was a little odd that those two were right next to each other), and pretended to be browsing through some polo shirts. Colin came up to me.

"Hey, what's going on between you and Lindsey? You to seem pretty close."

"Nothing is going on, we've just been hanging out today. She's pretty funny and cool."

"Alright. It doesn't have anything to do with that make-out session the other night does it?"

"No, asshole it doesnt."

"I'm just kidding dude, you know that"

"Yeah i know sorry"

"It's cool. just remember I'm your best friend, you can tell me whatever."

"Yeah, ok."

"But anyway, what i was going to tell you originally was that Maggie seems really upset today. I dont really know whats up, but i thought you should talk to her."

"Oh shit, really? Alright i'll check up with her in a little bit."

"Yeah thats good, i gotta go but see ya."

Now I was concerned. What the hell was she upset about? Did she know about what happened on the bus?

But i didnt have time to worry about it, because now Lindsey was coming up to me holding one of the strangest articles of clothing i have ever seen. It was a thong, covered with gold and silver sequins. It was also several sizes to small.

"I know," she giggled when i brought up the size issue, "now go try it on."

I purchased it, and got a few weird looks from the guy at the register. Then i went into the fitting room and quickly striped off my jeans and cum-filled boxers, puting the boxers in the bag. I slipped the thong up over my legs, and immediately relized how small it was. It hurt so bad and felt like a huge wedgie.

Slowly I emerged from the fitting room and found Lindsey. She laughed at my obvious discomfort. I then said, "Fine, but ive got a dare for you. Go in their, take off your underwear, and where my boxers for the rest of the day."

She shrugged and said whatever, and walked in. While she was in there i realized that i had to figure out what Maggie was all upset about. This trip just kept getting crazier and crazier...

[The Judge]

Excellent Chapter. Guilty again!:::

[locololly]

Really really good! Plz write more!!!

[molten man]

Great continuation...

[machine5]

wow, awesome story. can i go on the trip next year, haha?

[coolio5]

grr. guys im so sorry ive been posting so slowly . School has been driving me absolutely nuts, i have 2 huge tests tomorrow (Spanish and calculus...ugh), a paper and project over the weekend, and its homecoming weekend. So really idk when ill be able to post again, but ill try to make it ASAP!! Thanks for all your support, but i hope you stick with me.

Thanks so much!! And also if you want to shoot me a PM with any ideas i would really appreciate it!!! THANKS!

[molten man]

Lifes more important. Take yout time!

[Officelover]

This is for the last section, Part 8. Thanks for the nice words!

1. Spelling and Grammar- how many errors? 4/2=2
2. Description

24 / 30

a. Adjectives and Adverbs:

A lot- 6/6
A little- 3/6
Never- 0/6

b. Metaphors and Similies:

A lot- 6/6
A little- 3/6
Never- 0/6

c. Vocabulary:

Wide- 6/6
Moderately Wide- 3/6
None- 0/6

d. Advoids monotony?

Completely- 6/6
Sometimes- 3/6
Never- 0/6

e. Background information:

A lot- 6/6
A little- 3/6
None- 0/6

3. Originality

21/30

PLOT: 8 / 15
EVENTS: 13 / 15

4. Alibidonous

17 / 20

5. Length

10/20

Reallllllllllllllllllllllllly long- 15 pts.
Very Long- 20
Long- 15
Medium- 10
Short- 0/5

BONUS POINTS-

8/10

Why? For asking that I rate your story, and for the realism. It's pretty realistic, nothing has been too unbelievable. I also would like to commend your usage of actual New York sites. I figured you would say the first place they visit is "The Empire State Building" or something like that. But you used ground zero- a good choice.

And, I've realized, this scale is a little hard on certain types of stories. So I'd like to add ten points to every story, yours being the first. With that in mind, here is your score.

TOTAL: 88

Letter Grade: B+

Good job!

[coolio5]

thanks officelover, appreciate your appraisal

[coolio5]

Whoo hoo!! I finally got the next section done! I hope you like it, and thanks for your patience.

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CHAPTER 9

I texted Lindsey when she was in the dressing room, saying I’d meet her on the bus. I had to figure out what was wrong with Maggie.

Really, I had no idea what she was so upset about. Was it about me? Lindsey? Me and Lindsey?

And I had no idea what I could say to her if it was. Somehow, “Sorry we’re really close friends, but I had one of your best friends give me a handjob while we sat two rows behind you on the bus, even though I have suspicions that you might be in love with me, and I might be in love with you but I’m not sure because my mind is a clusterfuck of crazy ideas and emotions and sexual thoughts and fantasies, and it really sucks to be a hormonal teenage boy,” didn’t seem to be diplomatic or graceful or poetic enough to make her feel better.

I searched around the store for her, and found her wandering aimlessly through toys for little kids. I walked up.

“Hey how’s it going?” I asked.

“Uhh…fine,” she replied, barely paying attention.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I could tell she was lying; her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying.

“Seriously Maggie, you can tell me anything,” I said, trying to comfort her (Even though I was silently praying that she didn’t say anything about me and Lindsey).
I gingerly put my hand on her shoulder. Suddenly she burst into tears, and started sobbing into my shoulder.

“What’s wrong Mags?” I asked, totally bewildered.

“Its my cousin…we’re really close. My mom just called to tell me. She’s really sick, and she’s only 19. The doctors don’t know whats wrong or how to fix it.”

I held her close. “I’m so sorry, I had know idea, that’s terrible.” Inside I was slightly relieved that it wasn’t anything about me, but I also felt terrible for her.

We stood there for about ten minutes, and we must have been quite a sight to see, us hugging with her bawling into my arm. I didn’t care though, what other people thought. Fuck ‘em. The only thing I cared about was Maggie. I felt the weirdest emotion right then, though. Its hard to explain, but I think I felt, well, love. Kind of. I mean, I definitely felt emotions stronger then friendship. But it wasn’t anything sexual, or physical. Even with the image of her naked in my mind, it was purely emotional. I tried to sort it all out in my head, but I was so utterly baffled, I didn’t know what to make of it. My head spun, but I just hugged her tighter.

God, this trip was getting so crazy…
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As always, any thoughts, comments or (constructive) criticisms are appreciated!

And also, story ideas can be sent via PM and they will be greatly appreciated as well!

[The Judge]

adding a twist like that to the case really spices things up

[emmah100]

OMG I love your story! your such a great writer! i cant w8 for the next chapter!