Old 11-06-2017, 01:35 PM   #1
ChubbyShySissy
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Default My Perfect Daddy

Hey everyone! This is my first attempt at a story so it may be bad but I am willing to learn so feel free to critique to help both me, and the story to improve. I'm not sure how long it will be so I guess I'll just get on with it.
An Introduction
I'm Chloe, a 19 year old sissy. I am 5'6 and around 170lbs. I have brown shoulder length hair and I am smooth from my eyes to knees. I am naturally submissive and willing to serve, I am also still a virgin.

Chapter 1
I think there were three main reasons I did it. I mean what self respecting male would think how I do? I guess the first reason would be that I'm shy and introverted, so I don't have many friends and those I do have live hours away. It made it easy to slip into a world of porn and perversion. Since I arrived at university I found it so much easier to delve into this world rather than one of normal social interaction. Secondly, the lack of any intimacy or relationships made it very easy to lose the ability to see any self-worth in myself or that I may be worth something more. Finally being naturally submissive sealed my fate. Growing up I had an abnormal relationship with my father, he was a troubled man and I guess somewhere between the periodic abuse, both physical and mental, and my submissive tendencies I formed an attraction to older men, in particular those who are on the surface mean.
So I guess that it how I got here, browsing the casual encounters section on craigslist. As a virgin this is where I sometimes come to dream, knowing many of the ads are probably fake anyway. Scrolling down I see an ad from a 41 year old dominant male who was looking for an innocent virgin sissy. Of course this peaked my interest and I saw that the post had pictures attached, so I clicked on it. What first caught my attention were the pictures. They were all in hotel rooms and they were all of 'girls' like me. Looking through the pictures I could tell each were of different 'girls', some were bound, some were bruised and that turned me on. As I read the ad, I saw it mentioned that he was an experienced dominant who was looking for a new 'girl' to train and that he was willing to travel and pay for a hotel for the night. I went back to the pictures and on the last one was a picture of a cutie with her make up done with what must have been his cock in her mouth. It was a mesmerising cock, it was around 7 inches and very thick. The girl in the picture was struggling to get to half way. I was scared but so excited, I hoped it was real. I got a confidence I have never had before and messaged him, "Hey"...

Feel free to comment and help me out with my writing style
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Hey, I'm Chloe a 19 year old closet sissy.
5'6 170lbs 3.5"
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I am normally submissive but I'm willing to try out my dominant side
Please vote for me!

Last edited by ChubbyShySissy; 11-06-2017 at 05:23 PM.
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Old 11-06-2017, 08:37 PM   #2
sexualfeelings
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I like it so far, but it could be better.

Some 'thoughts' and "speech" can be added between the characters.
The biggest thing that turns me away from a story is the lack of paragraphs. No one wants to read a huge wall for text, trust me.
Don't be afraid to bold some words and italics.
Lastly, colors used in moderation will only enhance your story.
I made some edits what you have posted as an example.
================================================== ==

I think there were three main reasons I did it. I mean what self respecting male would think how I do? I guess the first reason would be that I'm shy and introverted, so I don't have many friends and those I do have live hours away. It made it easy to slip into a world of porn and perversion.

Since I arrived at university I found it so much easier to delve into this world rather than one of normal social interaction. Secondly, the lack of any intimacy or relationships made it very easy to lose the ability to see any self-worth in myself or that I may be worth something more. Finally being naturally submissive sealed my fate.

Growing up I had an abnormal relationship with my father, he was a troubled man and I guess somewhere between the periodic abuse, both physical and mental, and my submissive tendencies I formed an attraction to older men, in particular those who are on the surface mean.

So I guess that it how I got here, browsing the casual encounters section on craigslist. As a virgin this is where I sometimes come to dream, knowing many of the ads are probably fake anyway.

Scrolling down I see an ad from a 41 year old dominant male who was looking for an innocent virgin sissy. Of course this peaked my interest and I saw that the post had pictures attached, so I clicked on it. What first caught my attention were the pictures.

They were all in hotel rooms and they were all of 'girls' like me. Looking through the pictures I could tell each were of different 'girls', some were bound, some were bruised and that turned me on.

As I read the ad, I saw it mentioned that he was an experienced dominant who was looking for a new 'girl' to train and that he was willing to travel and pay for a hotel for the night.

I went back to the pictures and on the last one was a picture of a cutie with her make up done with what must have been his cock in her mouth. It was a mesmerizing cock, it was around 7 inches and very thick. The girl in the picture was struggling to get to half way.

I was scared but so excited, I hoped it was real. I got a confidence I have never had before and messaged him, "Hey"...
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Old 11-06-2017, 08:52 PM   #3
ChubbyShySissy
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Thanks for the help I'll be sure to split it up a bit more, when I looked at it after posting it did look rather bleak. I will also be sure to add colours to try and make it look more appealing.

As for the speech and thoughts I will be sure to add more details. I feel like trying to find a way to begin is a very hard task but now that it's out of the way I'll be sure to beef up the chapters as I start to introduce characters going forward as I move into the more erotic situations.

Thank you so much for the pointers, I will be sure to try and implement them in future chapters.
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Hey, I'm Chloe a 19 year old closet sissy.
5'6 170lbs 3.5"
PM Dares
Clothes/Toys
Loves, Likes, Dislikes and Limits
Tumblr: ChubbyShySissy
kik: ChubbyShySissy98
Please play with me!
I am normally submissive but I'm willing to try out my dominant side
Please vote for me!
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Old 11-07-2017, 04:18 PM   #4
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Chapter 2

After I sent the message I immediately lost the confidence I had mere seconds ago. I felt vulnerable and my stomach started to flutter, I felt weak. It took me over a minute to regain my composure but once I did I eagerly awaited his reply. I was a full 4" hard and I were pulling on myself so hard it might have fallen off.

About 5 minutes later as I was approaching climax, I received a notification. It was a message from him. This was nearly enough to send me over the edge, but I held off and opened it up.

It was a list. A list of details he wanted from me. He said he would use this to see if I met his requirements, I hurriedly filled out the list, asking for things from weight to living arrangements. I was excited to see if I was good enough for him and dreading the possibility of him rejecting me. I sent it to him and waited for his response again.

He responded, "Hello Chloe, as you like to call yourself, as you know by now I am specialized in 'girls' of your nature". This made me begin to leak.
"Your response to my application was satisfactory, but the final hurdle that many fall at is that you must now send me a picture of both your face and body". I am shaking in my seat thinking about the possible exposure and embarrassment I could face. However, his next line put me at ease.
"I am not here to expose you nor do I want to but I need it to make sure you were not telling lies in your application. I will not respond unless you reply with the pictures and where you live, for obvious reasons". That was the end of the message.

As I sat frozen contemplating my next move reading the message over and over, I start to think about my life. I think about the many rejections I received from girls at school. This man was interested, in me no less. Why should I not deserve to be happy?
I kept thinking, but what if he shared them and someone found out? I caught myself and though about the fact that I was just hooking up with someone. People have sex all the time yet I'm here thinking as though I was planning a heist or murder.

So I took out my phone and took a picture of my body then my face. I took several of my face trying to find the right angle, God I hate my face!
I have had pretty bad acne since I was around 14 and it has plagued my teenage life, but it had just started to clear up a little so after a few shots I found the one. I took the pictures and put them in a reply along with where I lived and sent them, and the waiting begun.


Again feel free to critique, I need the help!
__________________
Hey, I'm Chloe a 19 year old closet sissy.
5'6 170lbs 3.5"
PM Dares
Clothes/Toys
Loves, Likes, Dislikes and Limits
Tumblr: ChubbyShySissy
kik: ChubbyShySissy98
Please play with me!
I am normally submissive but I'm willing to try out my dominant side
Please vote for me!
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