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Old 11-16-2008, 08:44 AM   #1
Sarge90
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Default Tiff's fantasy hell

I wrote this for a friend of mine, and thought I'd share it on here.

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‘You won’t be needing these anymore.’ The deep voice said as the masked man grabbed a pair of scissors and started to cut through her panties and t-shirt. She opened her mouth to protest, but found that her thong was stuffed inside before she could make any sound at all. He finished off by taping her mouth up, and she was glad it was only a thong.

She began to wonder how she got here. For that matter, she didn’t even know where ‘here’ was. The last thing she remembered was being in that club with Marc.

Marc had been going out with her for about a year now, and she adored him. He was sweet, charming, funny and sexy. She had often referred to him as the full package. He had only gone to the bar; she could see him from where they were sitting. She decided to go for a smoke, so stood up, caught his attention, and pointed to the lighter in her hand.

It wasn’t really cold outside, considering it was already late September. It was also deserted outside, but it was never very busy on a Wednesday night. There had only been seven other people in the club, and two were bar staff.

The next part was slightly hazy, but she recalled a hand on her face, and a smell like leather, probably from the gloves. She had tried to slap her attacker, but suddenly found herself incredibly weak. She assumed she had passed out around that time.

A sharp pain in her left nipple brought her back to this hellish reality. She tried to scream, but it barely became a murmured moan through the thong. Looking down, she saw the source of her pain. A simple clothes peg, with some string running through it. Following this one way, she saw a small weight tied to it. The other ends lead to another identical weight, but with another clothes peg. Her eyes widened at what she knew was inevitable…

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Hope you enjoy this, and let me know if there's anything that could be improved.

Also, I thought I'd err on the side of caution and put this under 'mature' for the implication of rape, but if you don't think it should be in here, please let me know.
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Old 11-16-2008, 09:43 AM   #2
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soo far so good, i want to know what happens :P
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Old 11-16-2008, 09:46 AM   #3
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Thanks, I should hopefully post the next part later today, but I've got assignments, so might need to be tomorrow.
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Old 11-16-2008, 11:47 AM   #4
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i like it so far, post more! haha
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Old 11-16-2008, 01:53 PM   #5
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Default Part 2

Part 2

Her eyes began to water as the other clothes peg was clipped into place. Her kidnapper gave it a sharp tug to check it wasn’t too loose, and she gasped even through the tape.

‘Now, let’s see what’s next…’ His gruff voice came out, but the mask didn’t seem to move. She didn’t know why, but this scared Tiff even more.

The man was looking at a piece of paper in his hand, and checking off something she couldn’t see. ‘Ah, yes… This next part is going to be very fun.’ He said with an evil glint in his eyes, which were the only parts of his entire body that were visible.

He stepped over her, as she had struggled again and lost her balance. Her ankles were tied to her thighs, making it easy to part them. ‘Now, young Tiffany, I think it’s about time for that last drink to take effect.’ There was a metallic *clink* behind her, and she knew what was coming.

She felt his hands on her shoulders, as she was pushed into the upright position again. The leather was cold, but not as cold as the bowl that was pushed under her at that moment.

‘What’s wrong? Need some persuasion? Ok, since you asked so nicely…’ He plunged his finger into her easily, she didn’t want to admit it, but she must’ve been turned on as she was starting to drip. His finger moved, but the rest of his hand was stationary, and she wished he would stop. Finally, she just couldn’t hold it any longer.

The warm liquid flew out and ran into the bowl.

‘You should’ve warned me. For that, I think you need to be punished, don’t you?’ She nodded slightly, figuring he would go easy on her if she didn’t fight it.

‘Good girl. Now, on your stomach!’

She tried to lean forwards, but couldn’t lie flat without help. Sliding her knees apart on the ground, she stayed in position and awaited his help. It didn’t come.

‘Ah, that does look uncomfortable. Good. First, I think we’ll fill you up, then your punishment can begin.’

It was going to be a long night…

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Hope you enjoy.
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Old 11-16-2008, 02:06 PM   #6
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This is great! Please continue! Looking forward to the next part
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Old 11-16-2008, 03:31 PM   #7
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I do understand liking something about the narrative, the structure flows and you can visualize what's going on... but still, to say this is 'great'? It is well written and articulated, even if the subject matter is harsh and difficult.

We know it is fiction, we know it is not meant to be representative of the authors' views on rape or anyone else's (hopefully). It is intended for entertainment purposes only. Still, that carries some weight on its own.

MaleToy, as far as I'm concerned, you are absolutely right to put it in Mature Stories. I would personally call this story moderately troubling, which by no means entails that I don't like it. Be aware that, with sensitive subject matter, you must approach it with equal sensitivity, unless you just want to portray explicit and graphic scenes of molestation and rape, in which case, disregard my comment. Personnally, I think stories, even stories such as this, should educate and enlighten us, or at least make us angry at the protagonists and reconsider our own situation. But that's just me

As a reference, consider the movies Pan's Labyrinth or even the European one Amen.

As far as everything else is concerned, keep up the good work.
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Old 11-16-2008, 03:54 PM   #8
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Thank you, interesting. I agree completely, with a subject such as rape there needs to be a lot of consideration given to the way it is portrayed, and I am trying to be as delicate with it as I can, and I apologise to anybody this may upset.

However, I hope that when it is finished, if I have set it up right, it will all fall neatly into place and I can begin to work on something a little less dark.
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Old 11-18-2008, 09:43 AM   #9
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I think this story is going to be really good
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Old 11-25-2008, 04:30 AM   #10
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Smile Good, but there are so many like these

I'm not saying that it's bad. It's good. It's well written, it has a good speed, it's interesting...

But it does have this common theme. Not to say that it's a bad theme. I use it too. Right now, I am writinga story with this kind of theme. But, I think we need more original stories.

But, overall, great job!
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Old 02-01-2009, 07:53 AM   #11
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Hey, sorry it's been so long, but I'm back, possibly only temporarily.

I'm considering continuing with this story, but I'd like to know if anybody else thinks it's been too long to pick it back up?
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Old 02-01-2009, 11:05 AM   #12
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Continue it anyway and hopefully, you'll be back long enough to finish it.
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:40 PM   #13
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nice story!! Keep it goin.
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Old 02-02-2009, 06:43 PM   #14
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I would definitely like to read more of this story.
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Old 02-02-2009, 07:02 PM   #15
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I really like it, keep it up
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