SM Advice.

[MasterPain]

1. What is the maximum safe amount to drink at a time (or within say 3 hours like that one) for a pee holding type dare or task?

Every hour, a healthy kidney at rest can excrete 800 to 1,000 milliliters, or 0.21 to 0.26 gallon, of water and therefore a person can drink water at a rate of 800 to 1,000 milliliters per hour without experiencing a net gain in water, Verbalis explains.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...water-can-kill

experence for me, i have drank 2L of cold oarnge juice is roughly 20-30 minutes, but felt terabad..

2. Would something like Gatorade or even soda be safer than water to prevent low sodium, etc.?
no, its not how much you drink its the liquid saturation, if you drink something with to much say caffeen you can overdose on it, or sugar...

3. What about the pee holding? I think I have heard it can be unsafe (maybe even on this site, but I don't remember)? Are there any health hazards associated with pee holding in general?

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I've heard that holding it for 24 hours is when you might have to start worrying about infection, but even before that if your bladder is extremely full there is also a danger of rupturing your bladder (if in a car accident for example). Also remember the lady in California who died in the radio contest earlier this year (hold your wee for a wii) - although I think her death was caused basically by an overdose of water (coupled with not peeing any of it out). I'm sure you don't have to worry about holding it for 3 or even 8 hours while sleeping!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...7184845AAVynuV

my personal oppinion... please be careful when drinking water to force yourself to pee because it could end up bad, but holding it could be enjoyable for a time.

[Star Shadows]

I'd like to remind members that this service posts messages in response to questions that are sent to the primary responders via our application. It is not a forum for general information by anyone.

This is so that we can help people specifically and effectively. While information is appreciated by the site it would be often more suited in other parts of the site. If you would like me to explain this even more, or if you would like information on where to post please do not hesitate to PM me.

[LadyCeleste]

Hi what is the easiest and safest way to give yourself an enema if you don't have/can't get an enema kit??

I honestly say I have no experience in this sort of thing. I would definitely follow Star Shadows advice on this one. I do not have enough experience to be able to give an educated response.

[LadyCeleste]

I have a Master online, and I really enjoy spending time with him and talking to him but I always have this guilt tugging at me. I try to brush it away but it's always nagging me. Does this mean I shouldn't be doing this? If I am feeling this way when I talk to him? xxx thank you.

Honestly, the first thing that popped into my mind is if you have a real life relationship with someone else? The reason I ask this is because that 'guilt' you are experiencing might be from keeping the fact you are into this lifestyle from them and that's your minds' way of saying you need to talk about it.

But on the flip side of it, it might be because you are just unsure of the new relationship you are taking on at the present time. It's probably not guilt, but nerves. If you are extremely new to the scene, having an online master/mistress can be a very daunting experience and you're not sure how to react.

The main thing in ANY relationship whether it's D/S or not, is communication. This is key because if you're having doubts or you are unsure, you need to talk to your master, or partner, about the feelings you are having and let them know. If you don't let them know, they can go on thinking everything is okay and it very well may not be.

My advice? Talk to your master and explain how you have been feeling.

[LadyCeleste]

I was in a D/s relationship for about 5-6 months. It was my first relationship of the D/s kind and after talking for a couple of months, we both agreed we would like to enter into the relationship and I was content that I had chosen the right Dom to be my 'first' so to speak. We agreed to meet up and after the meet up, we continued our relationship while I was still on trial. A personal matter came up on my side and it was going to be very hard to keep the relationship going. I was Naive and thought that I would be fine with this decision, I thought wrong. We still talk now and then but I can't get them out of my head. I'm not sure if I miss them or miss the kink side of a relationship. It is all I think about, I find it to be a necessary part of my life. The last time I said that I missed them/BDSM, they got quite angry and said that they hurt too and that it was my choice to end it. I am in a 'vanilla' relationship now but I yearn for the kink aspect! I feel so lost, What do you think I should do to fill this hole? I don't think I can kid myself any longer that I can live without the need for BDSM.

The first thing that concerns me is the fact you say that you can't live without BDSM in your life. To me that signals that you've gone too far down the rabbit hole and are having a hard time getting back out of it.

The thing you have to remember is that with any lifestyle, or any activity there is a chance of addiction and it seems you have crossed that line and are now addicted to having it in your life. If you really need to have it, you may want to consider talking to your current partner, whoever that might be and explain to them about your kink and your need for it.

Communication is key with anything in life and that goes for relationships too. You have to communicate with the person you are with.

[LadyCeleste]

How do you do bondage by yourself?

You can practice doing it to various parts of the body such as legs, or tying an arm down to something. The first rule of bondage of any kind is safety. Make sure that you are able to get out of it and if you cannot, that you have a tool nearby to be able to help yourself get out it.

I would suggest going online and looking up on how to do some intricate knots and practice doing those and getting them undone first before actually tying yourself up and doing things like that.

[LadyCeleste]

What does it mean when a dom says 'your virginity is mine for taking'?

That could mean a number of things. It could be the physical virginity, which you can only lose once, it could be a virginity of trying something new. The best thing you can do is when you are not in scene with your dom is to ask him/her what he/she means when they say that.

[LadyCeleste]

What should you do if your master wants you to relocate to where he lives when I get old enough?

The first thing you need to do is really think about that. That's a very big decision and is not something that you should consider doing lightly. You cannot do something like that on a whim. It is dangerous, especially if the relationship with the dominate goes south. You will be in a place you do not know without knowing anyone else.

Also when you say 'old enough' it denotes that you are most likely underage. I won't harp on the fact you're starting too early, but as someone who is not yet of voting age, or is seemingly not at voting age yet, you may want to really reconsider if this is something you must absolutely do.

Sure, the master wants you to move closer, but there are things that can change, a lot can change in between now and when you are, if not already at voting age. I would seriously ask that you think about this and not doing anything too quickly.

[Star Shadows]

I have been with my Master for a while now (as in online) and i feel like i have been having the temptation to say no when i just don't want to do something it makes me feel so guilty like i am not a good slave anymore and i love him to death he treats me so well i am not comfortable approaching this to him because i really don't want to upset him and i am really embarrassed about this like really overall how can i over come this


This really does depend on why it is that you are wanting to say no to your master. If it is because your Master is pushing you out of your comfort zone or pushing your hard limits then it really is something that you should consider talking to him about, and something that should cause you to think about if the relationship is really right for you. Or it could be because he is not pushing you far enough.

It is also worth knowing that some submissives can often feel tempted to try and push their master, and say no just to try and licit a response from them, either to see how far they can get away with, or to try and seek punishment. This is often simply a phase and will fade out eventually. It isn't uncommon.

Again though it is really a case of knowing why you are tempted to say no. Be it you are uncomfortable, or just trying to test the boundaries. You shouldn't be avoiding confronting this issue with your Master though, as much as you dont want to upset him, he will probably be able to help you get past this. Communication is one of the corner stones of any relationships, d/s is no different.

Don't be embarrassed by it though, chances are its just a natural part of you testing the water and seeing how far you can push before something gives.

[LadyCeleste]

I have been with my Master for a while now (as in online) and i feel like i have been having the temptation to say no when i just don't want to do something it makes me feel so guilty like i am not a good slave anymore and i love him to death he treats me so well i am not comfortable approaching this to him because i really don't want to upset him and i am really embarrassed about this like really overall how can i over come this

I am inclined to agree with my associate here that it really does depend on why you want to say no and what the reasoning is behind it. Also, it is part of testing limits to see how far things will go with your master and that is a phase. Every submissive goes through it where all they do is push limits and they try to see where the dom will stop them.

Don't be embarassed about it either because as my associate said and I have as well, that's very common and very normal.

[Star Shadows]

My master has recently found out about this toy that he wants me to use. It's a vibe with a remote control with 5 different speeds. I already have a regular vibe and the particular model he's shown me is way too expensive for me. My master has already said that he doesn't mind if I don't get the particular model he's shown me, but he wants me to find something similar. I have found a vibe with a remote control that only has 2 speeds, and a vibe with no remote control and 5 speeds. Which should I purchase?

Talk to your Master about it a little while, but I really think that if the one he wants you to get is too expensive for you then you shouldn't be putting yourself out on a limb financially-And after all its your money, not his. So you buy whichever you can afford most comfortably. Really you shouldn't have to buy anything for a dom, so if it isn't something you want for you as well then you shouldn't get it anyway.

You have to remember that while s/m is fun it isn't the bottom line, your financial situation is more important than buying something more expensive than you can really afford for a master that could leave at any time. If the five speed one is something that you really want for yourself as well as him then you could always wait a while and save up for it. But just buy what you are comfortable with, or wait for it to go on sale.

It is really up to you to decide though, you know more about how much too expensive is than I do in your situation. my advice is there as a guide but at the end of the day you are better always buying what you can better aford in the event that you might have needed that money for an unforeseen emergency.

[Star Shadows]

Greetings! I hope not to bore you with my story and that you can help me with my doubts. I am fairly new to all of this, I am 18 years old and I didn't have an idea of what S/M was all about until a little while ago. It all began on a day in which I was on an anonymous chatting website, just looking for random people to talk to and have some fun. Then, I was paired with this guy who asked me about myself, and we talked a little. He then confessed that he was a slave looking for a new mistress. I did not understand what he meant, so I asked him to explain himself. When I had a clear idea of what he wanted me to do, I accepted. I added him on msn, and he put his web cam and he started to do everything I asked of him. I liked the experience and I have found myself fantasizing about him. The thing is, I did not let him see my face, and he was ok with that. I felt bad that he trusted me enough to show me his face, but that I did not show him mine, so one ti!
me that we were talking and he asked for a picture of me, I sent him one. Being honest, I am more on the heavy side, so I am really conscious about my appearance. I asked him what he honestly thought about me, that I would not get mad and he himself said that I am heavier than what he usually goes for, but that I wasn't ugly and that he will not stop being my slave. I promised not to feel mad, and I am glad that he is still willing to be my slave, but now I feel conscious with my own slave. What should I do? Should I lose some weight to please him? and if I do that, wouldn't that break the rules of S/M, wouldn't I be the one being controlled / dominated? I do not want to lose my slave, he is really obedient and nice, and we have been discussing about meeting one day. What should I do? Thanks in advance for your answer!


Ok; I am going to break this down so that I basically have the main jist of the question.

" I asked him what he honestly thought about me, that I would not get mad and he himself said that I am heavier than what he usually goes for, but that I wasn't ugly and that he will not stop being my slave. I promised not to feel mad, and I am glad that he is still willing to be my slave, but now I feel conscious with my own slave. What should I do? Should I lose some weight to please him? and if I do that, wouldn't that break the rules of S/M, wouldn't I be the one being controlled / dominated?"

The main thing that concerned me with your question was not in fact the whole thing with the weight it was the idea that I was picking up on that doing something to please your submissive somehow breaks the rules of s/M. This is a massive misconception. Just because you are the top does not mean you are any less obligated to please your submissive. It is as much for you to please him as it is for him to please you. s/M like most relationships are give and take, you out what you put into it. Doing something to please your submissive does not break the rules of s/M, and doesn't mean that you are the one being dominated or controlled, in doing something to please your submissive you are showing that you care about your submissive, and about how they feel- be this in terms of losing weight like your question suggested, or in other smaller aspects of the lifestyle. It shows that you are strong enough in your role to make concessions for them rather than being totally orientated on what you want- so in a round about way if anything it is positive to the "rules of s/M".

[Though at this point i feel it is also important to point out that, beyond practices of RACK (risk aware consensual kink) SSC (safe, sane and consenting) and the principles of hurt not harm then there aren't really too many "rules" of s/M.]

I think though, as an actual answer to your question, first and foremost you should lose the weight for yourself if you are going to lose it at all. But also only if you are actually on the "heavy side", maybe even more so if you are conscious of your weight anyway. But at the end of the day, it is your choice to make, taking input from other places is still helpful but it is your life to live, and you that has to do it. So while you can hold them as motivation it should not be purely for them.

xx Star Shadows

[LadyCeleste]

Greetings! I hope not to bore you with my story and that you can help me with my doubts. I am fairly new to all of this, I am 18 years old and I didn't have an idea of what S/M was all about until a little while ago. It all began on a day in which I was on an anonymous chatting website, just looking for random people to talk to and have some fun. Then, I was paired with this guy who asked me about myself, and we talked a little. He then confessed that he was a slave looking for a new mistress. I did not understand what he meant, so I asked him to explain himself. When I had a clear idea of what he wanted me to do, I accepted. I added him on msn, and he put his web cam and he started to do everything I asked of him. I liked the experience and I have found myself fantasizing about him. The thing is, I did not let him see my face, and he was ok with that. I felt bad that he trusted me enough to show me his face, but that I did not show him mine, so one time that we were talking and he asked for a picture of me, I sent him one. Being honest, I am more on the heavy side, so I am really conscious about my appearance. I asked him what he honestly thought about me, that I would not get mad and he himself said that I am heavier than what he usually goes for, but that I wasn't ugly and that he will not stop being my slave. I promised not to feel mad, and I am glad that he is still willing to be my slave, but now I feel conscious with my own slave. What should I do? Should I lose some weight to please him? and if I do that, wouldn't that break the rules of S/M, wouldn't I be the one being controlled / dominated? I do not want to lose my slave, he is really obedient and nice, and we have been discussing about meeting one day. What should I do? Thanks in advance for your answer!

I'm in agreement with Star Shadows here in that is a huge misconception that the dom does not have to pleasure the submissive. It's a two way street like any relationship. If one partner does all the work and the other does nothing, it's not a real give and take. That is what S/M is all about. You have to give to be able to take and vice versa. As for the whole whether you should lose weight or not, that is entirely on you as it is your body and your life. Yeah, he said "he goes for thinner women" but that's his personal preference, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to change for him.

When you start to change for others, you actually end up losing part of yourself. You should be proud of who you are no matter what you look like. A wise person once told me that if you cannot be happy within yourself, how can you please someone else? I'm sure you're quite beautiful and honestly, curves, on women, look better than skin and bone. But that is my personal opinion.

The thing is that as Star Shadows also said, beyond RACK and SSC, there's not too many "rules" persay.

[honeyness]

Star has asked me to go back to giving advice here whilst she is away for a week. Sooo . .

"I'm not sure what to do. My master has been particularly upset for some reason for a few weeks. I know it isn't anything I've done (he's told me this) but I still want to help. he doesn't want to talk about it. I don't like seeing him so upset, it makes me hurt because I really just want to help him. what should I do?"

It sounds as if your master is going through something difficult that is personal to him and that he doesn't wish to share right now. My advice would be the same whether it was regarding a master, a sub, a friend or a family member. No matter how close you are to someone there will always be times when the person needs their own thinking space with certain issues, whether that is because they want to get through something alone or if they don't want to burden you. All you can really do is let him know you are there for him if he needs it, that he doesn't have to share it but that you would like to help if that is what he wants. It's important to not push it, as this causes many people to bottle up even more.

If it is affecting your relationship than this may be something you want to bring up with him and discuss how it affecting you, you have every right to do this.

It could be for any number of reasons that he is upset, and with time I am sure he will return to his usual self, just be there for him if he wants your help, or if he doesn't don't take offense to this, this could be for several different reasons. I am sure he will be grateful just to have his sub stick by him as a submissive and perhaps even as a friend.

[LadyCeleste]

"I'm not sure what to do. My master has been particularly upset for some reason for a few weeks. I know it isn't anything I've done (he's told me this) but I still want to help. he doesn't want to talk about it. I don't like seeing him so upset, it makes me hurt because I really just want to help him. what should I do?"

I am going to agree with Honeyness here in the regard that it might just be something he is going through and even though the two of you might have a close relationship, it is important to realise that he may very well be uncomfortable bringing things like that to you at the present time.

The best thing to do in this situation is just tell him that if he needs someone to talk to, vent to, or whatever it is he needs, he can come to you. Just offer the ability to be able to be there for him and if he so chooses to talk to you about it, just listen and be supportive.