How to talk to girls on GetDare

[Wrwr]

I agree with alligator 365 Gd is a great site to talk to people about different kinks.
people being harassed by pm for dares(seems to be mainly girls being harassed) shouldn't really happen.
the site is set up so that if you want to receive dares there is a section to ask for them same goes for giving them.

I can see how it would piss people off getting random messages from people they haven't even spoken to before.

great thread to read just thought id add my opinion.

[saxel]

Originally Posted by DarkSoul11

Great read.

Also this could be extended too chat rooms as well. We have all seen a guy going "I'm 18/M/usa and need a woman to do such and such with me." I normally in there just shaking my head going does that ever work. Odd are you flat out ignore 15 seconds after flooding a chat room with that nonsense.

For the weird pm's everyone gets. I sort of see it like going out into a mall or somewhere public and saying that stuff to the first woman you see. If someone did that out in a mall I think I would see the male smack across the face into next week. Maybe everyone needs to remember that these messages are being sent to flesh and blood people with real feelings and emotions. Just my 2 cents and not saying everyone is guilty of doing this stuff.

I really like your second paragraph. Sometimes I really would like to see these people talk to someone in person the same way they "talk" to people via PM or any messenger. It's just much easier to write nonsense if you know that you are anonymous.

I can understand that it soemtimes can be hard if you are new here to get in touch with others and that can be frustrating but that still don't give anybode the right to be offensive. But in the real world you also wouldn't ask a stranger to immediately start any kind of bdsm play with you. I really made the experience that the most contacts evolve from more or less completely bdsm-free conversations.

PS: I know I violated a rule but I think it's not really appropriate to be applied in this thread.

[Matt:]

I can vouch for how bad some pm's girl's get are, as Sam sometimes shows me some of hers. (she doesn't tell me who the sender was) I seriously can't believe some of them! They would make me very angry, and then there other's who won't take no for an answer. She says she try's to respond to all her pm's, I don't think I'd have the patience!

I know there are very few openly dom girls, so she is going to get a lot of attention, but it's no excuse for some of the pm's she gets. Considering that those contacting her are meant to be submissive, they can be very demanding!

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm hopeless at talking to girls lol, (being very shy, submissive and having asperger's syndrome don't help!) but I'd never dream of sending PM's to girls asking for pics, asking to be her slave, asking for dares etc.. straight away. (I still don't know how I did end up being with Sam lol more by luck than any skill in taking to girls!) In the past I have probably been guilty of sending girls PM dares without really thinking about it, so I do try not to do that any more.

[sir stefan]

Just an other thougth: itshould not be "too" well known how to talk with girls because that will lower my changes.

And i actually wonder:
Sure i think some guys will read this thread and learn something.
But those were maybe the guys who were not perfect but at least manageble.
However, will the real jerks read this and appreciate?

I mean,
If someone sends a pm without even reading a profile. Would he take the time to read this full thread?

----->> nevertheless i really appreciate this thread.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Just an other thougth: itshould not be "too" well known how to talk with girls because that will lower my changes.

And i actually wonder:
Sure i think some guys will read this thread and learn something.
But those were maybe the guys who were not perfect but at least manageble.
However, will the real jerks read this and appreciate?

I mean,
If someone sends a pm without even reading a profile. Would he take the time to read this full thread?

----->> nevertheless i really appreciate this thread.

I doubt it but some people surprise you.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by pioneer0799

I can vouch for how bad some pm's girl's get are, as Sam sometimes shows me some of hers. (she doesn't tell me who the sender was) I seriously can't believe some of them! They would make me very angry, and then there other's who won't take no for an answer. She says she try's to respond to all her pm's, I don't think I'd have the patience!

I know there are very few openly dom girls, so she is going to get a lot of attention, but it's no excuse for some of the pm's she gets. Considering that those contacting her are meant to be submissive, they can be very demanding!

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm hopeless at talking to girls lol, (being very shy, submissive and having asperger's syndrome don't help!) but I'd never dream of sending PM's to girls asking for pics, asking to be her slave, asking for dares etc.. straight away. (I still don't know how I did end up being with Sam lol more by luck than any skill in taking to girls!) In the past I have probably been guilty of sending girls PM dares without really thinking about it, so I do try not to do that any more.

I try to do what Sam does. I try and respond to everyone. I even tell guys to try again because I don't think people mean to be the way they are all the time. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But it does get extremely frustrating when anyone won't take no for an answer. If some guys talked to girls like this in real life, they would get a swift kick to the balls or a slap across the face at least from me. I know in the USA we have a rape culture that is not acceptable and doing little things like fixing the ways we talk to people is one way to work towards fixing this.

Thank you for your input Matt!

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Just an other thougth: itshould not be "too" well known how to talk with girls because that will lower my changes.

And i actually wonder:
Sure i think some guys will read this thread and learn something.
But those were maybe the guys who were not perfect but at least manageble.
However, will the real jerks read this and appreciate?

I mean,
If someone sends a pm without even reading a profile. Would he take the time to read this full thread?

----->> nevertheless i really appreciate this thread.

You are probably right, but it gives the guys who do care a way to talk to girls and then a place where girls can see the guys who really do care to start a conversation. I know I will appreciate the effort if someone says they read my thread and either try to correct past behavior or make an effort to try harder at conversation. I am not asking for perfection, I am asking people to stop and think. I am guilty of this too. I know personally I tend to lash out on conversations or pm's from guys based off of what the last conversation might have been. I more than appreciate it when someone constructively tells me to tone it down and I misjudged them.

I also like seeing the guys opinions so please keep it coming. I am glad this thread has been taken seriously and used to start a conversation that needs to be had.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by saxel

I really like your second paragraph. Sometimes I really would like to see these people talk to someone in person the same way they "talk" to people via PM or any messenger. It's just much easier to write nonsense if you know that you are anonymous.

I can understand that it soemtimes can be hard if you are new here to get in touch with others and that can be frustrating but that still don't give anybode the right to be offensive. But in the real world you also wouldn't ask a stranger to immediately start any kind of bdsm play with you. I really made the experience that the most contacts evolve from more or less completely bdsm-free conversations.

PS: I know I violated a rule but I think it's not really appropriate to be applied in this thread.

I think we can let that slide since this is a more serious thread and not a dare related thread

[saxel]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Just an other thougth: itshould not be "too" well known how to talk with girls because that will lower my changes.

And i actually wonder:
Sure i think some guys will read this thread and learn something.
But those were maybe the guys who were not perfect but at least manageble.
However, will the real jerks read this and appreciate?

I mean,
If someone sends a pm without even reading a profile. Would he take the time to read this full thread?

----->> nevertheless i really appreciate this thread.

There will be enough people that won't read the posts in this thread even if they really should follow some of the comments. But if even only some people change their behaviour so it was successful in my opinion. Maybe I'm a bit too optimistic or naive but I still believe that there are some people that just don't know better or at least really try to improve their behaviour if they read this. And I think everybody can find some aspects he/she didn't thought about and so still can learn something.

[DarkSoul11]

I also think this would be a great place for people that join the site. Kind of like get the lay of the land before going off and just spamming pm's and bugging everyone. Think if you going get any luck talking done you should be somewhat active in a few threads that interest you. Maybe a post you made caught someone attention.

[SassyTomato]

Basically, treat women like people, not objects (at least at first, if they are into that it's different of course. But noone really wants that from a stranger, off the bat, if they want a real long term relationship).



Also, regardless of gender, it's typically smart to make sure you get along personality, kink, availability, and goal wise before starting a relationship. If your kinks don't line up, you hate each other's personality, or you aren't online at the same time, then it's kind of hard to imagine it working out. If you don't read a person's profile or advertisement, you won't be able to know that information about them.



So basically, people just don't think things out before messaging. No surprise, they are likely getting off to the thought of the things they are writing or reading, and not ACTUALLY considering it as a real possibility or a real long term plan/relationship.

[sir stefan]

Hi,
Sorry, a male again , but it also gives a bump.

Just as happened today.
Getting a random pm from a girl asking for punish.
I always try to properly answer.
She is a newby, 0 posts, no profile description, just saying "female". No likes, dislikes, limits.
Having had experience that 9 out of 10 just sending a punish ends in silence i decided to do different this time. Did not send a punish, just the whole explanation as here. Just saying i cannot send a proper punish like this (its true, what should i send? Spanking? Bondage? Denial? Quite different i would say).

On the other hand i must say, i'm the really very proud owner of a slave currently. And that one started with such random post (live is weird)

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Hi,
Sorry, a male again , but it also gives a bump.

Just as happened today.
Getting a random pm from a girl asking for punish.
I always try to properly answer.
She is a newby, 0 posts, no profile description, just saying "female". No likes, dislikes, limits.
Having had experience that 9 out of 10 just sending a punish ends in silence i decided to do different this time. Did not send a punish, just the whole explanation as here. Just saying i cannot send a proper punish like this (its true, what should i send? Spanking? Bondage? Denial? Quite different i would say).

On the other hand i must say, i'm the really very proud owner of a slave currently. And that one started with such random post (live is weird)

Male or female you have to do what is comfortable to you. I made this post hoping it would open eyes to all sides because conversations do need to change. I am guilty of being a bitch most times when I respond. If you want to give her something that is fine, but I would personally ask her for more information first. What are your likes, dislikes, and limits? What did you do to deserve punishment. How severe of a punishment are you asking for? Also advise her to fill out her profile so that other users can help her with what she wants to gain. Also require her to do a report to you as part of the punishment. It is only fair that if you give a dare or task to someone, they tell you how it goes.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

Male or female you have to do what is comfortable to you. I made this post hoping it would open eyes to all sides because conversations do need to change. I am guilty of being a bitch most times when I respond. If you want to give her something that is fine, but I would personally ask her for more information first. What are your likes, dislikes, and limits? What did you do to deserve punishment. How severe of a punishment are you asking for? Also advise her to fill out her profile so that other users can help her with what she wants to gain. Also require her to do a report to you as part of the punishment. It is only fair that if you give a dare or task to someone, they tell you how it goes.

To be fair, sometimes, I'm a bitch when replying too. I get mean when it's the 80th person who did not read the profile.

I try to work on that.

[sir stefan]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Just as happened today.
Getting a random pm from a girl asking for punish.
I always try to properly answer.
She is a newby, 0 posts, no profile description, just saying "female". No likes, dislikes, limits.
Having had experience that 9 out of 10 just sending a punish ends in silence i decided to do different this time. Did not send a punish, just the whole explanation as here. Just saying i cannot send a proper punish like this (its true, what should i send? Spanking? Bondage? Denial? Quite different i would say)

Ok,
Let me give you an update (and bump the thread)
I guess non-surprising.
So after replying really nice. After replying with real clear human interest.
All i get back is nothing. Zil, silence, zero.

Naah, i keep answering these random pm. Sometimes something nice comes from it ( as said, i'm having a real nice strongly bond slave now that started with such a random pm)