Offline BDSM Relationships

Tom · 09-10-2008, 05:32 AM

What opinions does everyone have of offline relationships between slaves and masters, and how many of you have experienced, or currently experiencing one? Was it everything you expected? Better? Expand on this please if you would.

Dare861 · 09-10-2008, 07:38 AM

I'm one of the ones fortunate enough to have both an offline and online relationship with the same person. I had met my Mistress here in Feburary 07 (I think 07... I'm terrible with math. Basically I've been her's for over a year and a half. You do the mathy stuff for me!) Just last month at the tail end of the summer, I decided to visit her. At first, I was very nervous. I figured it would be much more embarassing (Therefore harder) to server someone in person. Turns out it was much easier. There's definately a huge difference between a smiley in chat and an actual smile upon your Dom's face. So I guess, in a way, it wasn't what I expected. It was a lot lot better. I also found the transition from online to offline was very very easy. However, moving back... not so much.
Anyway back to the point of the topic. It is very possible to have a very fulfilling online relationship (As we did for a year and a half.) However, nothing is better than the actual touch of your Dom.
Hope that answers your curiosities, questions, concerns, and political agendas.
- DareDude861

YourMistress · 09-10-2008, 09:21 AM

I had a offline 24/7 servant and at first the relationship was going good and we were both satisfied with each other. He was with me fo r almost a year when I noticed that he started being possessive of me. He would do little things when male friends came over. To make a long story short i gave him his freedom. I feel as though its easier to have slaves online because offline is something the dom and slave have to be ready for in all aspects mentally physically and emotionally. I would recommend if someone is thinking about a real life situation please try it online first cause its a lot easier in my opinion. I wish i wouldve tried online with him first it probably wouldnt have progressed to offline. Just think like this online u can always turn the computer off and go on with your life. Off line its not that easy. Sorry this is sorta a long post just wanted u guys to kinda understand where I was coming from. Thanks

Dare861 · 09-10-2008, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YourMistress

... Just think like this online u can always turn the computer off and go on with your life. Off line its not that easy. Sorry this is sorta a long post just wanted u guys to kinda understand where I was coming from. Thanks

This is why I prefer to at least go farther than simple messenging. Though i could see where being able to just turn off the computer would be beneficial for some situations, if my Mistress were to just turn off the computer and walk away, I would be completely devastated. That's just how I am submissively. Once I trust someone enough to completely give myself up to them, I become extremely emotionally attached. Thankfully, She and I do talk on the phone a lot, and we plan on seeing eachother again next summer. I just definately do enjoy... deeper relationships because they seem more real to me and more fulfilling.

On a side note, I completely understand your frustration with your sub being posessive. My Mistress used to have the same problem with me >_>. Thankfully, instead of just dropping me, she taught me how to be less posessive, which benefited us both.
That's the other thing I like about more 'real' D/s relationships. It's very easy to simply walk away from a problem. It's much more meaningful and rewarding to work through it.

Anyway, that's my two cents.
- DareDude861

Bandit|Queen · 09-10-2008, 10:13 AM

Ok I'm going to try and explain but I think I'm gana fail lol.

I met Master online over a year ago now. When I met him I was with another bf but that was already on the skids. The long and the short of it is the ex was abusive and it wasn't untill I met Master ol that I got the courage just to dump the bf and believe I was good enough to go it alone and worth someones time.

Three months later I was standing on a train station waiting for Master to show up. I wasn't nervous untill I first sore him and then I could have easily just turned on my heals and walked away. Anyway luckily I didn't and the meetings continued and over a few months it became way more then M/s and we are now properly dateing and as many say on here a "cute" couple.

I love him to bits and I think our relationship is slightly different to how a lot see M/s. Although he is my Master I am not just for the weekends, I'm not just for when he wants to play or for when he is in the mood to dominate me. I'm not saying others who have a dominate who is only their dominant and not their partner has something crap but I do think we have an added element to our relationship. I believe the trust is a lot deeper and that because we are around each other a fair bit I am easier for him to push and get to do things that are outside of my comfort zone.

It's been long distance a fair bit so we do online as well as rl still but we have found the ol has lost some of it's excitment because we do have more rl now. Oh and by the way although it supprises some people, we do just snuggle up and watch a film and do none kinky stuff. We aren't kinky every second of the day. If we were there would be substance to our relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by YourMistress

He was with me fo r almost a year when I noticed that he started being possessive of me. He would do little things when male friends came over. To make a long story short i gave him his freedom.

I don't see what is wrong with a submissive being posessive of their Dom. I would take it as a compliment, they are clearly attached to you and have feelings for you. I have often joked that Master is mine and in a way he is. Although I am owned by him, me being his submissive means he has a commitement to me as well as me to him. Hope that made sense.

I could go on and on but I think I will leave it there and not stall the discussion

YourMistress · 09-10-2008, 11:53 AM

I understand where u all are coming from but i think daredude misunderstood me i was saying its easier for a sub to just turn off the computer and just walk away meaning he is not in his mistress face 24/7. thats why i think its easier for some ppl to start online. when u get to the rl u are ready to handle situations. I didnt think I would have to elaborate on how "Possessive" my slave was but I will and maybe im using the wrong term, but he would go in my room when i wasnt home and sniff my undies, he would lay on my bed and whip himself while getting off and he would deliberately disobey so i would have to punish him. I tolerated it long enough before I felt that our M/s was over. Im not a up and walk away Mistress. I gave him several opportunities. Overall Im just saying I tried a real life before trying online and i now wish it had been the other way around. I now have online slaves and they are great.

Tom · 09-10-2008, 05:03 PM

Just out of interest. in ol relationships does anyone ever get anxious over situations such as, the slave logs off, master thinks, is this person still my slave when they come back or have they had enough of me? and vice versa, master logs off, slave things, have I failed will master ever come back online?

How are these kinds of feelings tackled?

09-10-2008, 05:32 AM	#1
Tom Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 85	Offline BDSM Relationships What opinions does everyone have of offline relationships between slaves and masters, and how many of you have experienced, or currently experiencing one? Was it everything you expected? Better? Expand on this please if you would. __________________ So what evils make us so afraid It's impossible to handle it Tear the pages from this ending And the pendulum swings again Off the end of gravity You black out and you fall What do you do when the situation Has passed the point of words And in the well of tradition The author of the day

09-10-2008, 07:38 AM	#2
Dare861 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: United States, Tri-State area Posts: 315 Blog Entries: 4	I'm one of the ones fortunate enough to have both an offline and online relationship with the same person. I had met my Mistress here in Feburary 07 (I think 07... I'm terrible with math. Basically I've been her's for over a year and a half. You do the mathy stuff for me!) Just last month at the tail end of the summer, I decided to visit her. At first, I was very nervous. I figured it would be much more embarassing (Therefore harder) to server someone in person. Turns out it was much easier. There's definately a huge difference between a smiley in chat and an actual smile upon your Dom's face. So I guess, in a way, it wasn't what I expected. It was a lot lot better. I also found the transition from online to offline was very very easy. However, moving back... not so much. Anyway back to the point of the topic. It is very possible to have a very fulfilling online relationship (As we did for a year and a half.) However, nothing is better than the actual touch of your Dom. Hope that answers your curiosities, questions, concerns, and political agendas. - DareDude861 __________________ Dare861: Official PM Sniper (If you don't know what this means, don't ask. I WILL give you false information leading you on a wild goose chase that almost definitely will leave you with a headache) Meow.

09-10-2008, 05:03 PM	#7
Tom Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 85	Just out of interest. in ol relationships does anyone ever get anxious over situations such as, the slave logs off, master thinks, is this person still my slave when they come back or have they had enough of me? and vice versa, master logs off, slave things, have I failed will master ever come back online? How are these kinds of feelings tackled? __________________ So what evils make us so afraid It's impossible to handle it Tear the pages from this ending And the pendulum swings again Off the end of gravity You black out and you fall What do you do when the situation Has passed the point of words And in the well of tradition The author of the day

09-10-2008, 09:21 AM	#3
YourMistress Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: usa Posts: 82	I had a offline 24/7 servant and at first the relationship was going good and we were both satisfied with each other. He was with me fo r almost a year when I noticed that he started being possessive of me. He would do little things when male friends came over. To make a long story short i gave him his freedom. I feel as though its easier to have slaves online because offline is something the dom and slave have to be ready for in all aspects mentally physically and emotionally. I would recommend if someone is thinking about a real life situation please try it online first cause its a lot easier in my opinion. I wish i wouldve tried online with him first it probably wouldnt have progressed to offline. Just think like this online u can always turn the computer off and go on with your life. Off line its not that easy. Sorry this is sorta a long post just wanted u guys to kinda understand where I was coming from. Thanks

09-10-2008, 11:53 AM	#6
YourMistress Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: usa Posts: 82	I understand where u all are coming from but i think daredude misunderstood me i was saying its easier for a sub to just turn off the computer and just walk away meaning he is not in his mistress face 24/7. thats why i think its easier for some ppl to start online. when u get to the rl u are ready to handle situations. I didnt think I would have to elaborate on how "Possessive" my slave was but I will and maybe im using the wrong term, but he would go in my room when i wasnt home and sniff my undies, he would lay on my bed and whip himself while getting off and he would deliberately disobey so i would have to punish him. I tolerated it long enough before I felt that our M/s was over. Im not a up and walk away Mistress. I gave him several opportunities. Overall Im just saying I tried a real life before trying online and i now wish it had been the other way around. I now have online slaves and they are great.