How to talk to girls on GetDare

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Ok,
Let me give you an update (and bump the thread)
I guess non-surprising.
So after replying really nice. After replying with real clear human interest.
All i get back is nothing. Zil, silence, zero.

Naah, i keep answering these random pm. Sometimes something nice comes from it ( as said, i'm having a real nice strongly bond slave now that started with such a random pm)

It happens I had someone do that. I had to give him a dare because of a challenge in a thread and I asked him for more details and I got nothing.

[sir stefan]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

It happens I had someone do that. I had to give him a dare because of a challenge in a thread and I asked him for more details and I got nothing.

Yes, but (well, i'm male, dom, that may be different), its not that it sometimes happens.
I guess i get about daily requests like that,
And between 1/2 to 2/3 just nothing back.

Or,
Get something back, get conversation, and just when getting the feeling we're really communicating it stops. Just like that. Dead silence.
Probably did something wrong, i'm human. But i dont get it.
Why start communicating if you just want to stop it?
Dom teasing?

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by sir stefan

Yes, but (well, i'm male, dom, that may be different), its not that it sometimes happens.
I guess i get about daily requests like that,
And between 1/2 to 2/3 just nothing back.

Or,
Get something back, get conversation, and just when getting the feeling we're really communicating it stops. Just like that. Dead silence.
Probably did something wrong, i'm human. But i dont get it.
Why start communicating if you just want to stop it?
Dom teasing?

Who knows, but it is annoying none the less. There are places to find doms and subs and it's easy enough to make a punishment thread.

[Sam~]

Interesting thread. I haven't got enough time for a detailed reply, but just some points from my experience on here.

I'm still amazed at the one line pm's I get just saying "can I be your slave" I mean seriously, do they really think I'm just going to say yes after that? Does any meaningful relationship ever come from that?

It also annoys me when people start calling me Mistress in their 1st contact with me. I find it very presumptuous, I am nobody's mistress until I agree to be, don't assume that I am. I know most probably don't mean that and maybe just think it's what I expect to be called, but still. I don't mind so much in some selected threads, but in general and especially in PM's (as more personal) people should not call girls Mistress unless they have agreed this beforehand.

Then there are the ones who beg me to watch them on cam or give them dares or control there orgasms, give them joi etc.. I would only ever consider doing this once I get to know the person, I will not do it after just 1 or 2 begging pm's.

Then some seem to get quite angry if I say no to them. Like if I tell them I already have a sub, so am not looking for another, they get upset as if I should at least give them a go or something and that I'm being unfair or selfish.

I hope this does not sound too negative lol These are more the exceptions than the rule, and I do get a lot of good pm's as well, and obviously I found Matt on here

As other's have said, if you want to get anywhere, have any good friendships / relationships or even just some fun, try to get to know each other first, before you start getting into anything else, like kinks, fetishes bdsm etc.. Just take some time to chat generally first and see if you get along with each other. I don't mind getting some of my pm dares randomly, that's what their there for, as long as don't go over the top.

And I know I can be guilty sometimes of sending PM's sometimes without enough thought, and I can be a bit short in my replies on occasion, so I know I've got to work on it as well, I'm far from perfect lol

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Samishere

Interesting thread. I haven't got enough time for a detailed reply, but just some points from my experience on here.

I'm still amazed at the one line pm's I get just saying "can I be your slave" I mean seriously, do they really think I'm just going to say yes after that? Does any meaningful relationship ever come from that?

It also annoys me when people start calling me Mistress in their 1st contact with me. I find it very presumptuous, I am nobody's mistress until I agree to be, don't assume that I am. I know most probably don't mean that and maybe just think it's what I expect to be called, but still. I don't mind so much in some selected threads, but in general and especially in PM's (as more personal) people should not call girls Mistress unless they have agreed this beforehand.

Then there are the ones who beg me to watch them on cam or give them dares or control there orgasms, give them joi etc.. I would only ever consider doing this once I get to know the person, I will not do it after just 1 or 2 begging pm's.

Then some seem to get quite angry if I say no to them. Like if I tell them I already have a sub, so am not looking for another, they get upset as if I should at least give them a go or something and that I'm being unfair or selfish.

I hope this does not sound too negative lol These are more the exceptions than the rule, and I do get a lot of good pm's as well, and obviously I found Matt on here

As other's have said, if you want to get anywhere, have any good friendships / relationships or even just some fun, try to get to know each other first, before you start getting into anything else, like kinks, fetishes bdsm etc.. Just take some time to chat generally first and see if you get along with each other. I don't mind getting some of my pm dares randomly, that's what their there for, as long as don't go over the top.

And I know I can be guilty sometimes of sending PM's sometimes without enough thought, and I can be a bit short in my replies on occasion, so I know I've got to work on it as well, I'm far from perfect lol

I noticed the ones complaining about that seem to be the most incompatible people too. And how are you selfish for knowing your needs and it looks like taking good care of your sub?

To be fair, I'm probably a lot short in my replies as I give one sentence responses most of the time when not thinking about it.

But, if discussing a task/limits/D/s I try to be a lot more detailed. (I find I always leave something out.)

So I get the one sentence ones but sometimes there needs to be more than one sentence.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills

I noticed the ones complaining about that seem to be the most incompatible people too. And how are you selfish for knowing your needs and it looks like taking good care of your sub?

To be fair, I'm probably a lot short in my replies as I give one sentence responses most of the time when not thinking about it.

But, if discussing a task/limits/D/s I try to be a lot more detailed. (I find I always leave something out.)

So I get the one sentence ones but sometimes there needs to be more than one sentence.

If you are looking for a Sub/ or dom or some variation of the sort, then there most definitely needs to be more communication than one sentence which I believe you stated in your very well written thread.

It is okay to have short messages! Some messages are also not even worth a reply. Aka Hai Mistrezz plz can i b ur slave? (over exaggerated... or is it?, but still. )

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

If you are looking for a Sub/ or dom or some variation of the sort, then there most definitely needs to be more communication than one sentence which I believe you stated in your very well written thread.

It is okay to have short messages! Some messages are also not even worth a reply. Aka Hai Mistrezz plz can i b ur slave? (over exaggerated... or is it?, but still. )

Yes, most definitely. To be honest, if I can do it, I'm sure others can. I write the bare minimum usually at the start of pming so going out of comfort and writing way more than one sentence is difficult (I get more lengthy once I know one.) but needs to be done. I understand it's hard. It's very very difficult but needed.

My messages are short most of the time and I'm doing well.

I seen worse, I have a rule, if I can't read it, I ignore it.

[Shadowice]

I am sorry to hear about some of the bad experiences you girls had to put up with I wont comment to reply to each of them specifically because the list would be a mile long. There are so many desperate guys just looking for scraps or girls that don't have a clue how it works to take advantage of them (hopefully those guys get ran off some day), but don't be mistaken to think its just the girls that get some random messages. I have gotten random messages from girls as well giving me the 1 liners like can I be your sub, or can I have dares, the random pm thread stuff like can I cum etc.

I have met plenty of wonderful people on the forums here and gotten to know a good handful of people. I honestly enjoy the conversation more then the dares these days as very few actually write a good report after their task that makes me stop and think it was really worth my time writing that dare them.

Anyway best of luck and hopefully the ones that need to see this thread for a clue will actually see it and better themselves in the future. But likely they won't notice it and continue making the same reckless mistake of assuming they are the greatest thing you will ever come across in your life.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by shadowice0823

I am sorry to hear about some of the bad experiences you girls had to put up with I wont comment to reply to each of them specifically because the list would be a mile long. There are so many desperate guys just looking for scraps or girls that don't have a clue how it works to take advantage of them (hopefully those guys get ran off some day), but don't be mistaken to think its just the girls that get some random messages. I have gotten random messages from girls as well giving me the 1 liners like can I be your sub, or can I have dares, the random pm thread stuff like can I cum etc.

I have met plenty of wonderful people on the forums here and gotten to know a good handful of people. I honestly enjoy the conversation more then the dares these days as very few actually write a good report after their task that makes me stop and think it was really worth my time writing that dare them.

Anyway best of luck and hopefully the ones that need to see this thread for a clue will actually see it and better themselves in the future. But likely they won't notice it and continue making the same reckless mistake of assuming they are the greatest thing you will ever come across in your life.

Thank you for the feedback. I can only talk from a female's perspective so I am glad you can add your side of things. Also I have actually used this as a response to some of those messages and just sent them this link. So maybe that is one way of going about it. I also have only been on here for a short time, but I can agree, not seeing reports or updates is the most annoying thing ever especially when you put thought and energy into coming up with something.

[semper_virilis]

Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

The fact that get dare is online and (relatively) anonymous doesn't change the fact that all the usual relational and sexual dynamics still apply. Sure, it's not identical to "real life," but it's still real people on the other side of the screen.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Originally Posted by semper_virilis

Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

The fact that get dare is online and (relatively) anonymous doesn't change the fact that all the usual relational and sexual dynamics still apply. Sure, it's not identical to "real life," but it's still real people on the other side of the screen.

I think you make a good point, but can you clarify what you mean about attractive or unattractive? Do you mean that people might not want to play and give dares based off of appearances?

[semper_virilis]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

I think you make a good point, but can you clarify what you mean about attractive or unattractive? Do you mean that people might not want to play and give dares based off of appearances?

That was mostly a joke. It's one of those helpful-not-helpful things people sometimes give as dating advice.

To the extent it's not a joke, "attractive" in this case doesn't refer to physical appearance, but rather just the sum of how a person comes across to another.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

Just because someone, male or female, says they like something in their signature, a thread post, or anything else, does not give you the right to assume that they are looking for someone to do it for them ot give them a task for it. If I want a task, I will ask. Otherwise if you message me saying what you will do to me, you can bet you will be getting no where. Personally I think trust is huge so if you don't try to get to know me first, you can scram.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Wedgiebondagebabe

Just because someone, male or female, says they like something in their signature, a thread post, or anything else, does not give you the right to assume that they are looking for someone to do it for them ot give them a task for it. If I want a task, I will ask. Otherwise if you message me saying what you will do to me, you can bet you will be getting no where. Personally I think trust is huge so if you don't try to get to know me first, you can scram.

Ah, those people.

And true, you need to get know people first.

What I also hate though is when people only try to get to know you so they can give you a task. People can see through it.

Also, if someone has rules or whatever to get something from them, don't quote it and say it's useless, that's rude.

They didn't write it for their health.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

I'm not going to lie, I forgot this thread existed, but I find myself still needing to work on the messages people are sending me.