Hunting the Fakes/ Verification process

[techiegirl]

All the women I have talked to on this site are against this.

All verification would do is cause more pressure on women to prove they are female, when some people just don't want to do that.

I agree with Gyev. If you want someone to have to verify they are who they say they are, then do that privately and on your own terms, don't offer that to the masses because all that will happen is more people will feel like they have to do it.

[sluttylexi]

Originally Posted by techiegirl

All the women I have talked to on this site are against this.

All verification would do is cause more pressure on women to prove they are female, when some people just don't want to do that.

I agree with Gyev. If you want someone to have to verify they are who they say they are, then do that privately and on your own terms, don't offer that to the masses because all that will happen is more people will feel like they have to do it.

Hey My name is Alex, i'm a girl, and i'm totally behind this.

[IceMaiden]

But...why should you be the one to have verification sent to?
Why should I trust you with a photo of me, even clothed and no face?

You're talking about trust and you can be trusted with these verification photos..how do I know you're not lying?

I don't know you at all. What happens if we don't get along or you decide you don't like me and want to tarnish my reputation out of spite and say I'm lying?

IF I was ever going to do that (Not that I need to. Nor will I. Plenty have seen pictures of me or spoken to me on mic/heard recordings of me.) why would I choose to have someone I don't know veryify me?

Why should it matter to you or anyone else at all, except those that I am friends with?

How did Lola prove she is who she says she is just by making her album public? I could have sent her those pictures. (She is, and I didn't but hopefully you'll get the point...it's the internet. Anything can happen.)

If my Dom or subs or friends wish to request something from me to prove I am who I say I am, that's fine with me. If someone I don't know suddenly demands that..I'm going to say .. fuck off.

Which brings me back to my first question....why should it be you trusted with this?

Sounds to me like you want to penalize everyone just because you got burned by a few fakes.

[Gyev]

In general, the idea of dealing with fakes is really fine. Unfortunately, not this method. And also it is not the first topic of that kind.

However, I don't know if there is any other option of "verification" instead of doing it by yourself.

When you have a contact with a person you do not know, it is natural to NOT trust that person irreasonably. Small ammount of paranoia is very healthy and understandable. Everyone, who want know more about other person shall aspire to know that person BEFORE you start any kind of "relation". There are many options - there are plenty of topics where you can record your voice and post here, on forum (for example "Accent Challenge", about singing, and about poetry).

Even though you say, dear author of the topic, about "not obligatory" way of verification it will be obligatory anyway. People will assume, that if someone has not participated in such verification, then he/she is not worthy of trust and is probably fake. Males are lesser problem here, because usually women do not need to pretend to be male (because of lack of purpose), but women who do not want send a photo to anyone will have problems.

I don't like idea of "ratings" neither. I am not a person whose main goal on this forum would be gaining some profile friends. I am also not a person, who like to shine with likes and dislikes on signature. I rather want to keep it for myself or share this information in private.

In conclusion - everyone who is interested in seeking someone to "have fun" here should NOT trust everyone in 100%. Should not participate in any stuff before being assured of genuiness of other person. You have private message option, you can deal with it without a problem. If someone do not want to send you a picture, what's the problem? You can explain this person, you can gain trust by sending yours, or you can simply leave that person and seek other one. Even if in theory these options you mention will not be "obligatory", they will be in practise. And this would become invading privacy or kind of discrimation of people who are even less trustful.

[muddz]

I haven't fully read everyone’s posts in this topic, but from what I understand there are a couple of things going on. OP says it is only meant to be for the master/slave subforum, but even then I think verification is a bad idea.

If it was for the entire site, it is a terrible idea because almost no one would verify themselves, it would become a wasteland of personal advertisements.
In the case of M/S forum, I don't see the problem. If you are bummed out that your conversation partner didn't end up being the person they said they were, you should have asked for proof earlier. After all, you are already talking 1 on 1 to that person. If they refuse after awhile (however long you are willing to put into it), it does not work out, fake or not, because either you are not able to put enough trust in them or they could be fake. You never know which one but that doesn't change the outcome.

As for the rest of the site, (and very much the internet) I learned to just look at the experience. If i have a great conversation or dare exchange with someone who says they are female, are convincing, smart and funny, it does not change the experience for me whether they actually identify as female in real life or not. That is, if pictures are not exchanged, but even then I might be willing to suspend the believe that the person is who I think they are.

I know that is a bit of a liberal idea, and not a lot of people would think the same, but verification would not fix that, in that case you first have to get rid of 90% op the user base, and then indeed, you know you are talking to the person you think you are, but is that person still on the site? Real or not, they might just have given up because their idea of a good time was to just share some dares on the internet, without being judged who they are.

Lets not forget: Gender is not binary, and a lot of users around here are either not comfortable with their sexuality, body or sexual preferences. Do they need to forgo the right to act like how they feel just so you know the person behind the screen is of the gender you feel attracted to?

tl;dr
Bad idea, would alienate people, whether they are faking or not, and verification in D/S ads can just as easily be done 1 on 1.

Edit: I do agree with some sort of age verification system, just because that can actually get someone in a lot of serious trouble. If you end up sharing pictures with a 18+ male while you thought they were female, that is only annoying at worst, if they end up being a 14 year old kid, now there is a terrible situation. As far as I know it is not only highly illegal to get images from someone who is underage, but also to send explicit material to them.

[perkygirlie]

It's the simplest way to get verified. It's also fun. Then a Mod can be like "yup. that's my ex. Want to date them? Feel free to send them a messag....ohwait, BAN." See? Simple. You can rest assured that a person you can't contact really is who they say they are.

Another angle, guys: why wait to find out, and why not verify yourself first? Always include a pic of your cock in your first message to someone. It lets them know you're a male, and scores huge points with the ladies.

[alias]

Originally Posted by perkygirlie

Another angle, guys: why wait to find out, and why not verify yourself first? Always include a pic of your cock in your first message to someone. It lets them know you're a male, and scores huge points with the ladies.

I can't show the goods in the first message, they'll fall massively in love with me and I won't be able to run away if I decide I don't like them. Pros wait til the second message to show your dick

[lola.fox]

Originally Posted by IceMaiden

How did Lola prove she is who she says she is just by making her album public? I could have sent her those pictures. (She is, and I didn't but hopefully you'll get the point...it's the internet. Anything can happen.)

I was going to type up a long thoughtful response to your reply, but it just doesn't seem worth it..so I'm going to quote Frosty here. Just because I put photos in my album [which normally aren't public] doesn't mean that I couldn't have used stolen photos. Even with your proposed standards of verification, there are plenty of loopholes around finding out if someone is who they say they are. Even if a person who claims they are a woman, is verified that she does in fact have lady parts, it doesn't mean that she does the things she say she does. She could have tits and still lie through her teeth about all the tasks she says she does. She could send you a picture of her beautiful clothed body with evidence the photo was taken in real time just for you..and still have a penis. She could look 25 & act like it, but still be underage. Unless you're doing a full body inspection along with a background check and several personal references, it's a cinch to be deceived even with "verification".

There's a litany of other arguments I could make about how I don't believe this would work, but if you really believe it to such a great idea then put it to action. That's the only way to prove your idea is doable. The mods won't do it, so it's up to you to come up with your system, round up participants, safely store their proof, and so on. I just don't think it's going to pan out the way you envision it to.

[Shadowice]

To be honest its all part of the risk. You should just spend time getting to know someone then before things get serious ask them to record you a quick audio saying some random words, or write something on a piece of paper for you. I for one always tell a sub this up front whenever I have had my ads open looking for a submissive that proof of some sort will be required before we can officially start. But like I said before I take time to know them talk and make sure it has the potential to be a good match up. After that I never ask for pictures/recordings etc that's all up to them if they want to do it great if not that's okay too.

I do agree with the others it sounds like you have been burnt 1 to many times, and this is just going to create more problems for the females then it solves for the males. There's already way more males on the site then females to begin with and if they have to get verified many would just disappear rather then going through the hassle of verifying then everyone on the site harassing them because they are a known female. Guys don't see the kind of unwanted attention and pms girls get on a day to day basis.

Also just remember its hard to get to know someone if your guard is always up because you are expecting them to be a fake.

[gentlemaster]

Hi,

Thanks everyone for your answers, it seems like this is really a half/half situation (regarding the poll vote) but I heard you.

For all the people saying why I, should verify, well I hope you don't really expect a concrete answer because this is a kind of childish question (I don't mean that in a bad way) but why should you trust any of the mods here then?

But I understand it, and well I volunteered but honestly it could just be anyone trustful and I don't mind if it's not me, it would even be better (no work me)
You all seem to refer about female slave but I still think a lesbian female slave would be happier to know if "her mistress" is really a mistress, again, I did nit think in my personal interest, I did it for you guys, it is just an idea and a lot of you project themselves too far because you all seem really scared about this system. You all seem to talk about the peer pressure like everybody would get verified but you, when I think only a very few would be which means there would be no pressure on the others.

Of course they will always be ways to corrupt the system like everywhere else but this could at least preclude some of the wannabe fakes. (a kid wouldn't photoshop etc)

Lola.fox when I wrote about you I had this idea in mind but didn't want to play the paranoid guy again my point was if you can put pictures of you in a public album you could do it privately to get verified but yes, who tell me you didn't stole those pictures? Maybe that's why you're against the verification system (kidding but you get my point) and maybe the 15 people who voted against it are indeed, fakes (again kidding but you get my point)

I don't mean this system to be a requirement, I don't know how many people there is on the site at the moment? (maybe someone could tell me) but I doubt there would even be more than 5% doing the verification thing, that's why I'm not afraid there would be peer pressure, I don't think there will ever be.

I will wait a bit more to see the results, for now noone can really take decisions

[eivins]

I voted against this. Frankly? The best way to get gender verification is to get to know the person. Can it be a waste of time? I actually don't think so. Even if they turn out to be fake, you can learn something from the experience. You can also choose to ask a person to verify. But for you- not for the public. I verified with the my Dom via voice. That's actually a pretty good option. I understand that voice could be faked (DrW's friend jokes that I use a voice simulator). However, that was nearly a year ago.
And now we're more than D/s. And we send pictures and cam and waste days talking to each other. We send packages and gifts. My family knows about him and his family knows about me.

A guy who is pretending to be a girl is going to fuck it all up eventually. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they communicate. I make friends and share things with them because I trust them. I
don't trust you. I don't necessarily trust the mods (although they all seem quite decent). If something like this was implemented? You'd get plenty of men verifying but probably not that many females. Because we don't like having to prove ourselves to strangers.


Lola, can I verify myself to you in person?

[muddz]

What annoys me a bit is that you (probably unintentionally) sweep criticism under the carpet while saying you listen to it (why should I verify... childish question), using your lesbian example as if a female slave has less 'right to know' the gender of their conversation partner, you sweep the counter argument of peer pressure away by saying only a few need to get verified.

These things are simply not true, first of all, the 'why should I' is the real right of privacy while ' the right to know the gender of your conversation partner' isn't. This is not a dating site setup to find your (life) partner, like it or not but on most places on the internet, the right for privacy weighs more than knowing who you are replying to (this goes for comment sections on news sites, maybe you are replying to someone who is criticizing Russia but is really working for the propaganda team of that country) Right of privacy before mandatory Identification.

The way you sweep away the peer pressure argument is baffling to me, what do you think it would mean for a casual female visitor of GD if even 10% of the females voluntary proved their gender and/or age? Do you really think everyone would just go 'oh, no problem you didn't verify, you are probably female anyway. The argument will just slide, instead of 'could you send some pics, else I doubt you are female' will become 'could you just verify, else I doubt you are female'. Just stating this won't be a problem is not a defence.
Lastly, your two ' kidding but you get my point' remarks really fall flat. It seems you don't get the point at all and moreover, don't respect the others opinion.

Ill end with again telling why 'not a requirement' is not a good argument. Making something in essence voluntary but in reality mandatory is replacing a choice with an implied social and moral call: Maybe your municipality does not state you have to place your garbage outside on a given day, but if you just put it outside whenever you want, people will think you are a douche bag.

I would wager that even if almost no one uses the system at first, people will get pressured to use it because suddenly it is their responsibility to show their genitals, instead of their right not to.