The Journey.

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This is the first time I have written and while it's a work of fiction much will cover aspects of my life.
I will be very grateful for constructive criticism to improve my writing...
I met her when she was 18, she was a few weeks away from her 19th Birthday. It was a typical winter day is Essex, it was chilly and wet and I had just finished my 12 hour shift at Stansted Airport and was travelling home on the bus. As I stepped from the bus, straight into a puddle, I felt more of my soul leak into the night air. My head said save money, go home and get some sleep but my feet followed their normal journey to The Kicking Dicky. The Kicky Dicky had become my local pub since I moved here over a year ago. I liked the clientele, a mixture of young and old, and the fact the landlord didn't allow anyone he didn't like the look of in meant that it became an extended family for me. The decor was typical of that of an old English Pub with Toby Jugs, horse brasses and worthless oil paintings of bland countryside. A few three legged stools stood sentry by the bar and a large log fire burnt in the central fireplace that separated the dining area from the bar.
It was here that I met the reason I had moved here. Her name was Carla and she was a bubbly barmaid, 5'4 with shoulder length dark hair and green eyes. She was physically fit, sharp witted but the first thing anyone noted about her was her large breasts. We had got chatting when I had passed by as a salesman in a previous job, we swapped numbers, chatted and had earned an invite to her birthday. It was a small intimate party that finished with me spending the night sharing her bed and bodily fluids. After a short intense relationship that saw me quit my job and move in, she dumped me on the street as a homeless, heartbroken man. I had clawed myself back up and within two weeks I had my own place and another job.
I managed to convince everyone I was fine but I was drinking most nights and the scars on my heart were not healing well. The one night stands did nothing to help me. No one noticed. To them I was Tom, the happy go lucky guy that liked a discussion over a couple of beers. They didn't see the bottles of rum in the recycling each week or build up of bills that carpeted my living room. I had only been here a year but most of the pubs knew me, never a trouble maker but just a good customer that every liked. The Dicky had got the majority of my business, mainly because it was a great pub but also it wasn't far from my flat.
As I walked in this evening I had no idea it would take me on The Journey.

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Part two.

Really appreciate feedback


As I pulled the handle of the door and stepped inside the pub out of the cold damp Essex air, the warm glow of the fire pulled me through the door.
"Evening Tom, the usual? ", said Ant, the Landlords son.
" Please!" I replied while grabbing my wallet. The usual was Guinness as, although I enjoy a real ale, real ales in this part of Essex is hard to find as the palate of the lager lout isn't refined enough.
Ant was a beanpole of a young man, bespectacled and a scruffy mop of hair. Ant had the annoyance of never worrying about money or finding a job. His dad Ian, the landlord, had made sure of that. Ant drove a little black impractical sports car but it fitted with his egotistical outlook. I enjoyed his company and we had shared many lock ins discussing and debating many topics.
I scanned around the pub, many of the regulars were in. It was still only 7pm and there was just a handful of people. Nick, a balding young banker, sat at one end of the bar. Mike, sat smoking reading the paper at one of the tables and Dave, a young cricketer, was feeding the fruit machine.
We all acknowledged each other and I took my normal place at the bar and grabbed a copy of The Guardian to read with my pint.
"It's alright, this one is still on the tab from last night", Ant said waving away my money.
One of the benefits of being a regular that was liked was the amount of drinks people brought you. I was extremely grateful for this fact and the fact that the pub took a tally of how many drinks had already been paid for - so I didn't have to.
I enjoyed the dark nectar as I perused the paper, every so often interjecting my thoughts to Ant. As I finished my drink and Ant had already poured my next Trip decided to stay for this pint and then go. My finances weren't particularly healthy and I had more drink at the flat anyway. The pub had a few more people in now, most I knew but only a couple I didn't.
The table in the window was occupied by two young girls, one of them Laura I knew. Not intimately, I wish, but I had met her on a few occasions.
Laura was 18, blonde and a great body. She thought highly of herself but had a reputation as a cock tease and I had heard she was still a virgin. She was chatting on the phone while her friend, who I didn't know, sat looking bored. She was around the same age, slightly taller, slim and short dark hair. She caught me looking and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Tom" I stated, "Don't you have someone to text all night like Laura?"
"I know" she said, "I'm Julie! And I don't have your number yet."
I finished my drink, handed her my number and left for home. I had barely got out the door and my phone indicated I had a text message.

[roxy]

Great story keep going

[master slave]

awesome keep it up

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Thanks for feedback, but because of the issues I'm having in my blog and th semi autobiographical nature of this story it's hard to write. I will write more but just need to clear head. Hope you understand.

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My phone the beeped to indicate a message, I fliped open my phone to see a message from an unknown number:
Come back in and I'll buy you a pint. Julie x

The thought of another drink and spending some time with this young lady had me spinning around and back in the door of The Dickey. I looked over at Julie and a pint of Guinness already sat in front of her awaiting me. Laura was still glued to her phone, alternating between texting and calling.
I sat opposite Julie and looked at her properly for the first time, her short dark hair was nice but couldn't help think longer hair would suit her more. She had piercing blue eyes that radiated warmth like a summer day but also had a dark depth to them. She had her ears pierced about five times in each ear from her lobe upwards. She smiled a wicked smile and started making small talk about the weather and Laura always being on the phone. It was a pleasant chat!
After about ten minutes Julie excused herself to use the toilets which gave me a chance to see her body properly for the first time. She stood at 5'9 (taller than me by 3 inches), and was a size 12. She curved in all the right places but her simply attire of white top and tight denim jeans meant people didn't notice her beauty. Her breasts looked large and firm and her posterior looked equally inviting. I found myself gazing at the doorway to the toilet a little too long after she had disappeared behind it.
I was 10 years her senior, shorter and gaining too much weight after my period of homelessness after Carla dumped me. I had never been skinny but my body use to be compared to rugby players but since I'd started drinking I was looking more like the rugby ball. My bleached blonde hair wasn't even blonde - it was white. I always left the hairdye on for far too and my sexuality was often questioned due to my ability to camp it up and my distinctive look. I knew she was out of my league but she was mesmerising and I thought if I could get a "one nighter" or a hand job I'd be happy.
She returned to the table with another pint for me and questioned me about current status, how long I'd lived there and previous girlfriends. The conversation flowed easily and quickly and it was soon 10pm and I was feeling slightly worse for wear. Laura finished another phone call and Julie informed her they should go, as Laura had to get a lift home. I finished my pint and said I would escort them to the top of their road which happened to be opposite my flat.
The cold air hit me and added to my feeling of being drunk but I managed to maintain a normal conversation and walk straight. I left the two girls as they walked the 50yards down to Julie's house while I crossed into my flat. It was cold as, since I was never there, I didn't bother with the heating. I drew the curtains, stripped of my clothes and climbed into bed.
Five minutes later I got a text from Julie "You asleep yet?"

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Some feedback would be great...


'Yeah' I replied back to Julie.
A minutes passed and my phone indicated it had another message for me.
'Good, what you doing?"
'I'm in bed'
'Was nice meeting you tonight, I like you, what you wearing in bed?'
'Thanks, I enjoyed meeting you to'
'You didn't answer my question, what are you wearing in bed?'

The text conversation had moved quickly and the line of questioning had left the feeling uneasy. I didn't reply and tried to drift into sleep.

'What are you wearing in bed?' the phone woke me and I realised I couldn't ignore the questioning.

'Nothing' I finally relented and let the young 18yo know that I was laying naked in bed.

I lay the phone back down and tried to sleep again. Ring, ring... Ring, ring. Only 15 minutes had passed but I had realised sleep and now my phone was waking me. It was Julie.
I answered in a very sleepy "Hi"
"Hi, I just wanted to hear your voice again" Julie replied.
"Awww, that's sweet"
"You still in bed naked?" she enquired.
"Yes, just trying to sleep... " My reply was interrupted my a knock, knock on my door." Hold on someone's at my front door, I'll call you back "
" It's me at your front door", Julie replied. "Come and answer it in whatever you're wearing!"

Then the line went dead.



Please give me feedback on here, PM or via the options in my signature.

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While I don't write to seek approval only 2 people bothered with feedback after over 600 people have read this.
This is autobiographical up to this point and would love some feedback.

[IPikachu]

The story is good, i like the way it is heading.