My Day as a Bitch.

[silverdarknight]

As some of you will be aware, I actually met with Mistress Simi for an RL play session recently.

It's taken me a little while to sit down and write this report, partly because I crashed hard afterwards due to all of the stress in the lead up and partly because sitting down, organizing my thoughts and describing everything that happened to you all was also quite scary!

This has been a longtime fantasy of mine so as things got closer I ended up getting more and more nervous. I hadn't done anything like this before. One of the interesting things about having switchy moments is how much you learn - what it feels like to be on the receiving end of these things. It's one thing to see someone get kicked in the balls and go "ouch. That must really have hurt." - it's another to see someone kicked in the balls and know that it really hurt because you have had it happen to you. But it's not so much the stuff I expect to learn that I really notice - it's the unexpected details. Like, in this case, just how much scarier it was to be meeting someone when it was quite literally my ass on line. She had promised me this was going to hurt - I just didn't really know how much. Was I actually going to enjoy it? Was I just going to end up whimping out and wasting everyone's time? Would she even be interested once she got to see me in person? I'm not exactly a handsome young man - and never was, even when I was young! She had promised to thoroughly assfuck me as well - what was that going to feel like? I mean, I already knew I didn't really enjoy it from self experimentation - but it seemed like something I should be able to enjoy - or at least enjoy the rush of someone doing it to me.

By the time the meet happened I was very, very nervous. But she was lovely, encouraged me and sympathized and promised she wouldn't be too evil.

I'm glad to be able to report it went well. It could have gone better, but it could have gone a whole lot worse. She was kind and helpful and supportive throughout. Seeming to enjoy my pain and squirming, but without bullying or forcing me - which I think was exactly what I needed. It's becoming clear that I'm not one of those people who enjoys being pushed around and bullied - even as a sub. Teasing and encouragement seem to work better than abuse which frequently seems to annoy/upset me.

Before she arrived I cleaned myself out with a couple of enemas and got dressed in red stockings, pink panties and a pink nightdress. I did this for a couple of reasons. I'm not the best looking of blokes, so a humiliating outfit at least ment that Miss Simi wouldn't have to look at my naked body. I also wanted to 'impress' her by trying to do more for her than she was expecting. I considered doing some body writing or similar as well, but that felt OTT.

She started out with some floggers. I hadn't had a lot of luck whipping myself previously, having only really managed to do spankings. I can see why people enjoy the floggers, they are a rather different sensation from the 'bite' of a wooden spoon or something. It's both a less and more intense sensation - it's a little bit less fierce where it happens, but there is a lot more of it. And the weight knocks you back a lot more. It was nice to feel that warm rush and nice tender sensitive skin as well. It feels very different to have someone else use these things on you - you don't get to push yourself anything like as far as someone else can push you. For example, amongst my toy kit is a cheap pink 'novelty' flogger. I've never been able to do anything with it, it just didn't have any real effect...In Simi's hands, however, it felt SO much better.

Then there was some cuddles and a little petting, which was lovely. I hadn't realized how desperate i was for affection until someone held me in their arms and stroked me.

We then moved onto spankings. She tried out pretty much everything in my toy collection (with the exception of the evil cable whip I think). The improvised paddle worked quite well, but suffered from not really being designed for the job and being hard to use comfortably. The wooden spoons were rather fun, but i'm sure that will surprise nobody! She seemed to enjoy the long steel ruler as it was flexible enough to be able to use quickly and easily by letting it 'spring' - and it also felt good to be on the receiving end. She experimented with running the sharp edges over my tender skin as well. Whilst this had me really squirming, it wasn't as 'pleasant' a painful sensation as many of the other things we did. She did manage to turn my ass a nice shade of bright red by the end of the spankings, which I was quite happy to have been able to take - and I hope she enjoyed doing.

After another break (i needed a lot of breaks. Partly because I was still quite nervous about what was going to happen and how it was actually going to feel) we moved onto one of the things both of us had been really looking forward to - ballbusting. It was a little awkward finding a suitable position where she could readily kick them. It was fun, and mostly hurt in good ways - although I clearly need more practice to build more tolerance to some of that kind of pain! It was also nice to be able to 'offer' that much of myself to someone. Some of the most intense pain of the session so far, but also some of the shortest lasting. I was kinda hoping for my balls to really sore and swollen and tender - and whilst this did happen - so was everything else so I didn't notice quite so much & because the initial hits were more intense I was finding it harder to take the same level of punishment.

She had me put on the nipple suckers earlier, and now removed them and added my clover clamps. Which were not as painful as I expected, but that's only cause I expected them to be really painful!
Then she had me tie my balls up with an elastic band and we returned to the ballbusting, including her beating them with the spoon I think. This was even more intense than before and really had me squirming and climbing walls. Beyond the cuddles, I think this was one of my favourite moments.

As I lay on the bed and recovered we chatted and she tormented my nipples a bit. Again, whilst this had me VERY squirmy it was a much less pleasant sensation than some of the other play and I didn't entirely enjoy it.

Then it was onto the anal play. Again, it was a little awkward finding a suitable position and it also turned out I didn't do a good enough job of cleaning myself out earlier, which I was a little disappointed in myself for. She asked me how rough I wanted her to be, and I said it was ok if it hurt - I wasn't expecting to enjoy it, so was expecting more of a pain/humiliation sensation from it. She was able to stretch me a bit, but I wasn't that able to relax and we wern't able to get my largest dildo inside me - which again, i am somewhat disappointed in myself for. If we get the chance to try again, I think it might work better if we try for one or the other. If the idea is to stretch and fuck me, a slower more gentle pace - or, if the idea is to pound my ass and hurt me to worry less about trying to fit the big toys in.

At this point we just lay there and chatted for the rest of the session as I was starting to get quite tired and the adrenaline was wearing off in some ways.

I was a little disappointed how quickly I recovered afterwards - I was aware of some pain my balls the next morning, and sitting down was an interesting (but not entirely uncomfortable) sensation. But I think both me and mistress were being slightly conservative on how much punishment to give me - so it's also nice to know I can hopefully take a lot more if we do it again . The other thing I was very disappointed about was that I never really got a hard on at any point. I was aware that, for many reasons, it was possible my body wouldn't respond in the way I hoped - but I still rather hoped that meeting a very pretty woman to do really kinky things would have a certain effect. It didn't.

I think the main thing i would like a lot more of if we are able to do it again is the petting and cuddling - it was really nice to be touched in that way.

The nipple pain didn't really work for me, but most of the rest of it did. Which is good. It's also a pity I never got to experience her grinding her crotch into my face or making me kiss and eat her ass, but hopefully there will be more chances to try these things.

I'm so glad I got to do this at last, and so thankful to Mistress for both helping me make it happen and being so supportive and helpful throughout.

[sunset-gd]

Sounds fantastic. Only one question; how do I sign up for this?

[KittenLicks]

This was a really enjoyable read. It sounds like you two had a great time!

[Pariahterror]

It really sounds like fun (wouldn't like the ballbusting part myself.)

[silverdarknight]

Originally Posted by cyan-ide

Sounds fantastic. Only one question; how do I sign up for this?

Well, you probably don't. It's unlikely to be a case of you approaching them.

Be active on the forums, don't be an asshat and hope someone makes the offer.

Don't assume the offer is going to be immediate either. I've been active on the boards and chatted with Simi for years before this happened - and the way it happened caught me somewhat on the wrong foot. One of the reasons I was so nervous about it.

[sunset-gd]

Originally Posted by silverdarknight

Well, you probably don't. It's unlikely to be a case of you approaching them.

Be active on the forums, don't be an asshat and hope someone makes the offer.

Don't assume the offer is going to be immediate either. I've been active on the boards and chatted with Simi for years before this happened - and the way it happened caught me somewhat on the wrong foot. One of the reasons I was so nervous about it.

Yeah, I know. I was joking - as fun as it sounds I have no expectations that this will ever happen and I'm not about to ask.

[silverdarknight]

Originally Posted by cyan-ide

Yeah, I know. I was joking - as fun as it sounds I have no expectations that this will ever happen and I'm not about to ask.

It's ok.

The answer was directed at all of the lurkers thinking the same thing as much as you. "Me Too!" is a response I was rather expecting, and, sadly, it's not that easy.

If I was I'd have done it ages ago!

[Locked Puppy]

Happy to read your report.

And now even more distance and love and jealous sick to have to wait four more weeks until Mistress finally collars her puppy.

Man.. and to think the three of us one day maybe (hopefully).. All of us switches..
-giggles-
yeah.. happy that Mistress and you enjoyed yourself as you did

[Zxenith]

Glad that it worked out well for you