relationship question

cstewart6 · 01-05-2011, 03:55 PM

So, I've liked a girl for many years now but she had been going out with a friend of mine so I waited, now he has dumped her a couple of days ago, and she is clearly upset by it. So I was wondering, when is the approprate amount of time to give for asking her out to not seem insensitive.
I'd be greatful for any advice.

refenistration! · 01-05-2011, 04:15 PM

Give a couple of weeks, two or three, maybe. See how badly your friend is affected by the break up. Then go for it!

Slenderman - Doctor · 01-05-2011, 04:16 PM

Be a shoulder to cry on, if she needs it. There's no generic timescale. Just go with the flow. Give her space, and time, and just offer the fact you're there to talk if she wants. Just don't jump down her throat or anything (as I'm sure you won't).

Star Shadows · 01-05-2011, 04:19 PM

If you really like her, be there for her as a friend while she is getting over it- support her let her know you're there for her if she needs it. Then you will also be able to tell when she is feeling better and when you can try and approach starting a relationship. You also have to be careful not to make yourself a rebound, which will happen if you move in too soon.
doctor beat me to the post.

Aivey · 01-05-2011, 07:51 PM

Each person is different and there's no definite or set ammount of time to wait as the time would vary from person to person. For now, all you should and can do is be her friend, comfort her and make her feel better... After a couple of weeks when she seems as if shes over him (is no longer constantly upset, and can talk about him without pain) go for it. (:
Please do not rush things though, it would hurt her and drive her away.
Best of luck

cstewart6 · 01-06-2011, 03:07 PM

Thanks for all the advice, I am acting as the shoulder to cry on, and I'm also trying to jugde how it is affecting her, and more importantly her ex as he has been a friend of mine since primany school, so I'm trying to measure where the right balance, I'm praying right now that this my best chance, and I'm an Atheist.
Thanks to all of you for your replies.

DancingBear · 01-06-2011, 03:55 PM

Being *too* close during this hard time, however, could have her think of you as another one of her "girlfriends" who she could talk to, is always there for her, is a wonderful person, etc.. but who she thinks nothing more of. Don't get stuck in the "friend zone"!

BettyBoop · 01-11-2011, 04:15 PM

Depends how close you are to the friend who was with her before and it depends on how long they were together to really know how much is may have impacted her.

KindOfInportant · 01-11-2011, 04:37 PM

Yea i depends how close you are to your friend, you never go out with your best friends Ex. Its messed up

cstewart6 · 02-13-2011, 03:06 PM

Thank you all, it worked, we are finally going out together, finally asked her out last week and our first date is on Valentines. The friend wasn't really a problem as it turns out the reason they broke up was that he was cheating on her, with my sister, So that got me out of the woods on that one.
Thanks to all of you for your advice, I really couldn't of done it without you.

01-05-2011, 03:55 PM	#1
cstewart6 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 24 Blog Entries: 1	relationship question So, I've liked a girl for many years now but she had been going out with a friend of mine so I waited, now he has dumped her a couple of days ago, and she is clearly upset by it. So I was wondering, when is the approprate amount of time to give for asking her out to not seem insensitive. I'd be greatful for any advice.

01-05-2011, 04:15 PM	#2
refenistration! Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 72	Give a couple of weeks, two or three, maybe. See how badly your friend is affected by the break up. Then go for it! __________________ Gentleman, Residing in the Antipodes ~ Likes: Dignity, Equity, Slinky; Dislikes: Ignorance, Independence, Insurmountability;

01-05-2011, 04:19 PM	#4
Star Shadows Prodigy Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Uk Posts: 4,707 Blog Entries: 13	If you really like her, be there for her as a friend while she is getting over it- support her let her know you're there for her if she needs it. Then you will also be able to tell when she is feeling better and when you can try and approach starting a relationship. You also have to be careful not to make yourself a rebound, which will happen if you move in too soon. doctor beat me to the post. __________________ Do not ask me for to be your slave, your mistress, or to give you truths or dares. You're wasting your time. Informative threads: Anonymous S/M advice service Threads of note PM MEGET S/M ADVICE WORSHIPS RACHIE**

01-05-2011, 07:51 PM	#5
Aivey getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Lost in the realms of the internet... Posts: 389 Blog Entries: 18	Each person is different and there's no definite or set ammount of time to wait as the time would vary from person to person. For now, all you should and can do is be her friend, comfort her and make her feel better... After a couple of weeks when she seems as if shes over him (is no longer constantly upset, and can talk about him without pain) go for it. (: Please do not rush things though, it would hurt her and drive her away. Best of luck __________________ I'm an 18 year old, female submissive who has everything she needs, so there's really no need to ask me to be your sub. However, do feel free to check out my Fetlife or even ask me anything! My Fetlife Ask Me Anything

01-11-2011, 04:15 PM	#8
BettyBoop Angel of Dare Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: England. Posts: 8,249 Blog Entries: 105	Depends how close you are to the friend who was with her before and it depends on how long they were together to really know how much is may have impacted her. __________________ ★Boop Boop de Boop.★ female, engurrland. Ask me anything, click. My tumblr. 18+ ▼

01-05-2011, 04:16 PM	#3
Slenderman - Doctor Truth or Dare Zealot Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6,760	Be a shoulder to cry on, if she needs it. There's no generic timescale. Just go with the flow. Give her space, and time, and just offer the fact you're there to talk if she wants. Just don't jump down her throat or anything (as I'm sure you won't).

01-06-2011, 03:07 PM	#6
cstewart6 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 24 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks for all the advice, I am acting as the shoulder to cry on, and I'm also trying to jugde how it is affecting her, and more importantly her ex as he has been a friend of mine since primany school, so I'm trying to measure where the right balance, I'm praying right now that this my best chance, and I'm an Atheist. Thanks to all of you for your replies.

01-06-2011, 03:55 PM	#7
DancingBear Sister Sparrow Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 749 Blog Entries: 2	Being too close during this hard time, however, could have her think of you as another one of her "girlfriends" who she could talk to, is always there for her, is a wonderful person, etc.. but who she thinks nothing more of. Don't get stuck in the "friend zone"!

01-11-2011, 04:37 PM	#9
KindOfInportant Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 27 Blog Entries: 1	Yea i depends how close you are to your friend, you never go out with your best friends Ex. Its messed up

02-13-2011, 03:06 PM	#10
cstewart6 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 24 Blog Entries: 1	Thank you all, it worked, we are finally going out together, finally asked her out last week and our first date is on Valentines. The friend wasn't really a problem as it turns out the reason they broke up was that he was cheating on her, with my sister, So that got me out of the woods on that one. Thanks to all of you for your advice, I really couldn't of done it without you. __________________ Welcome to "The Dogg House", where you know we like to kick that shiznit doggy style! Now then, let's see if we can't make some noise up in this bi-atch! If you know where that's from, I love you.