Thoughts, Rants, Opinions, Tales, and Musings of a Princess.
The Hardest Decision of My Life
Posted 07-07-2016 at 12:49 PM by The Slutty Princess
As some of you know, I have been facing a tough dilemma since coming out to my friend Sammie. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for roughly six and a half months, sharing moments and experiences I will never forget. My heart has been torn between the two of them, I love both of them but I couldn’t have both. I finally made my decision today. I have finally found peace within myself.
I have chosen Sammie.
I guess you could say a series of text messages ultimately decided on the destination of my heart. Each and every morning, I would awake to a text message, each with a heart-warming new message every time that left me smiling and feeling warm inside.
It’s kind of funny. She bought my heart with a few words. I can’t describe to you how it feels to wake up and read messages like these, it’s utterly amazing. There are a few messages I left out, just because they are a little more personal. Anyway...
"Morning Beautiful! Just wanted to thank you for being my reason to look forward to each day. The happiest I've ever felt was that moment I found out you loved me too. I know you have other people in your life but I want you. I don't want anyone else to have you. I just want you."
"Morning Beautiful! They say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. They obviously haven’t been in your arms before. Have a great day! Love you!"
"Out of the 7,400,000,000 people on the world, I only want you! Have a great day, beautiful!"
"Hey Beautiful. I love you. I don’t want to lose you. If I lose you, I’ll lose my bestfriend, my smile, my laugh, my everything."
"Lia, I may be too late to be your first but I will give everything to be your last. Have a good day, babe!"
"Lia, They told me the perfect person doesn’t exist. They were wrong. They told me there are plenty of fish in the sea but I don’t want anyone else. I have been searching for love for years and you’ve helped me find it. I wake up thinking about you, I go to sleep thinking about you, heck, I dream about you. I know you have other people in your life but I want you, I need you. Let’s write a story book, let’s conquer the world and everything thrown at us. I’m ready to walk through the storm and come out holding hands. Have a great day, you beautiful creature!"
"Lia, When I say “I love you” I mean it from the deepest part of my heart, I don’t say it out of habit. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than the bad days that lay ahead of us. I love you more than more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than any obstacle that would come between us. I love you enough to fight for you, to sacrifice myself for you. I love you enough to miss you when we are apart, whether it is for the few seconds when you leave my side or for a few hours, you are on my mind. I love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you and never leave your side, through the rough times and through the good times. I just want you. I want all your mistakes, flaws, smiles, giggles, jokes, stories, everything, I want it all."
I made the tough decision and talked to my boyfriend. It upsets me but I am at peace. I am looking forward to my future with this Angel. This future scares me. My decision must now be told to my family and friends. That’s what scares me the most. I fear people will look at me differently, treat me differently. I don’t want that. I am still the same Lia. I’m scared of the judgement I’ll face from not only my friends and family but from strangers. The future terrifies me but there is nobody else I’d rather walk the road with.
I have chosen Sammie.
I guess you could say a series of text messages ultimately decided on the destination of my heart. Each and every morning, I would awake to a text message, each with a heart-warming new message every time that left me smiling and feeling warm inside.
It’s kind of funny. She bought my heart with a few words. I can’t describe to you how it feels to wake up and read messages like these, it’s utterly amazing. There are a few messages I left out, just because they are a little more personal. Anyway...
"Morning Beautiful! Just wanted to thank you for being my reason to look forward to each day. The happiest I've ever felt was that moment I found out you loved me too. I know you have other people in your life but I want you. I don't want anyone else to have you. I just want you."
"Morning Beautiful! They say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. They obviously haven’t been in your arms before. Have a great day! Love you!"
"Out of the 7,400,000,000 people on the world, I only want you! Have a great day, beautiful!"
"Hey Beautiful. I love you. I don’t want to lose you. If I lose you, I’ll lose my bestfriend, my smile, my laugh, my everything."
"Lia, I may be too late to be your first but I will give everything to be your last. Have a good day, babe!"
"Lia, They told me the perfect person doesn’t exist. They were wrong. They told me there are plenty of fish in the sea but I don’t want anyone else. I have been searching for love for years and you’ve helped me find it. I wake up thinking about you, I go to sleep thinking about you, heck, I dream about you. I know you have other people in your life but I want you, I need you. Let’s write a story book, let’s conquer the world and everything thrown at us. I’m ready to walk through the storm and come out holding hands. Have a great day, you beautiful creature!"
"Lia, When I say “I love you” I mean it from the deepest part of my heart, I don’t say it out of habit. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than the bad days that lay ahead of us. I love you more than more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than any obstacle that would come between us. I love you enough to fight for you, to sacrifice myself for you. I love you enough to miss you when we are apart, whether it is for the few seconds when you leave my side or for a few hours, you are on my mind. I love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you and never leave your side, through the rough times and through the good times. I just want you. I want all your mistakes, flaws, smiles, giggles, jokes, stories, everything, I want it all."
I made the tough decision and talked to my boyfriend. It upsets me but I am at peace. I am looking forward to my future with this Angel. This future scares me. My decision must now be told to my family and friends. That’s what scares me the most. I fear people will look at me differently, treat me differently. I don’t want that. I am still the same Lia. I’m scared of the judgement I’ll face from not only my friends and family but from strangers. The future terrifies me but there is nobody else I’d rather walk the road with.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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It is sad and wonderful and exciting and scary all at the same time. Sammie will keep you strong! You have a shoulder to lean on anytime...Posted 07-07-2016 at 08:26 PM by thewilds 
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Princess,
The next chapter is now beginning in your life. Are you prepared to face every aspect of what is ahead for you? No, it is not going to be that easy walk for you. Those hard challenges will be coming your way daily, as that is apart of life. You must know it will be made up of happy days and those really sad days for you. Life efforts will make you stop and think! As choices do that all the time to everyone. Those questions running through your mind, when confronted with your choices will truly see how strong you are able to deal and handle certain subject matters. That will be when you are truly put to that test! You and Sammie, will drive on that road together!
Sam is a great guy. He truly loves you and gave so very much from his love for you. He prove that from his actions in caring for you and not just the words. But at times, "it is not enough," when the past still attacks you inside. I do feel so very sorry for Sam, along with that pain in which he is going through and facing it.. Reality of the heart, is that pain of love within. Afterall, love does bring pain when it is truly pure love and not fake.
But, you must be fully honest to yourself! You cannot do it any other way, or your life will never be fulfilling in that manner. You will never be truly or totally happy inside! You will live a life of sadness!
Daddy!Posted 07-07-2016 at 10:16 PM by MasterDaddy02
Updated 07-08-2016 at 07:45 AM by MasterDaddy02 (spelling) -
I hope your boyfriend was understanding. You loved him. I'm sure he loved you. But most of the time, even when you honestly love two people, you are forced to choose, and that means telling one person you love that you are done.
But in the end, you have to make the best decision for yourself. And you chose her.
I have no right to an opinion on who you choose, because I am not only no one in your life, I am also certainly not you, and don't know what is best for you. So all I can say is that I am sure you chose based on what your heart desired more, and I hope that you and her are truly happy together.
I don't want to say "I hope he isn't too hurt," because if he isn't, then it would mean he didn't feel as strong for you as you did for him. So I hope he is hurt.... but I say that with compassion. Not because I wish him pain. (I hope that makes sense. That phrasing sounds weird to me, and I'm unsure how else to say it.) I also hope he doesn't hold it against you, and that you always hold a place in his heart, as I'm sure he does in yours.Posted 07-08-2016 at 12:43 AM by ksoma
