A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Am I a "true" sub?
I only have a few minutes and there is a lot i want to say on this subject matter, but I will do my best to jot down as much as I can.
I have heard a few people use the term "true" sub or "true" dom, or they will refer to somebody as a "fake" sub etc. But what makes a "true" anything?
D/s is something that is very personalized. What I am looking for in a Dom might not match what you are looking for in a Dom. The way I act, or my beliefs as a Sub, may not match what you are looking for in a Sub. And that is ok!
Because there is no set way for a D/s relationship to happen.
Anybody who tells you differently is WRONG!
If you want to submit only in the bedroom, you are still submissive. If you want to submit 24/7, you are still submissive.
If you want to only chat over a messenger app, you are still submissive. If you want to only have an in person relationship with your Dom, you are still submissive.
If you like chastity and spankings, you are submissive, if orgasm denial is a limit, you are still submissive.
The only thing you need to be, to be considered a submissive, is the want/need to submit. It can be for an hour, it can be for a week, it can be every second Tuesday, it can be long-term. Submitting is the only thing that defines being submissive.
Labels are great sometimes. They help us to keep things neat and organized and get a basic understanding of something, but there is always more to the label. There are variances and variables that have to be factored in. If you line up 10 submissives, and as them questions, I guarantee you that they will answer at least one things differently. We are not robots, we are people and people are different. You can give us names and labels, but it doesn't make us all the same.
And sometimes a label just doesn't fit and that is ok too!. If a label doesn't fit for you, you can make up your own label, or go label-less.
My point to this blog is: There is no such thing as a "true" sub. You may have an ideal sub in mind for you, or an ideal dom, but just because you believe that a sub has to love orgasm denial, doesn't mean that those people who don't, aren't a "real" sub.
I have heard a few people use the term "true" sub or "true" dom, or they will refer to somebody as a "fake" sub etc. But what makes a "true" anything?
D/s is something that is very personalized. What I am looking for in a Dom might not match what you are looking for in a Dom. The way I act, or my beliefs as a Sub, may not match what you are looking for in a Sub. And that is ok!
Because there is no set way for a D/s relationship to happen.
Anybody who tells you differently is WRONG!
If you want to submit only in the bedroom, you are still submissive. If you want to submit 24/7, you are still submissive.
If you want to only chat over a messenger app, you are still submissive. If you want to only have an in person relationship with your Dom, you are still submissive.
If you like chastity and spankings, you are submissive, if orgasm denial is a limit, you are still submissive.
The only thing you need to be, to be considered a submissive, is the want/need to submit. It can be for an hour, it can be for a week, it can be every second Tuesday, it can be long-term. Submitting is the only thing that defines being submissive.
Labels are great sometimes. They help us to keep things neat and organized and get a basic understanding of something, but there is always more to the label. There are variances and variables that have to be factored in. If you line up 10 submissives, and as them questions, I guarantee you that they will answer at least one things differently. We are not robots, we are people and people are different. You can give us names and labels, but it doesn't make us all the same.
And sometimes a label just doesn't fit and that is ok too!. If a label doesn't fit for you, you can make up your own label, or go label-less.
My point to this blog is: There is no such thing as a "true" sub. You may have an ideal sub in mind for you, or an ideal dom, but just because you believe that a sub has to love orgasm denial, doesn't mean that those people who don't, aren't a "real" sub.
Total Comments 10
Comments
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Looks like you took my advice too literallyPosted 11-20-2017 at 12:52 PM by saruman 
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Not really. I already had a blog half written when you mentioned writing one.Quote:Originally Posted by saruman
Looks like you took my advice too literallyPosted 11-20-2017 at 12:53 PM by Butterfly
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But how can you be a submissive if you switch?
(Just a conversation point)Posted 11-20-2017 at 01:13 PM by Heart
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But you have to admit that there are people who only use it for wank fodder. Like they call themselfs D/S but really just want someone to talk dirty to them.Posted 11-20-2017 at 01:14 PM by Drilldon
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I am a "true" troll. I insist on that so let me.
Besides that, there's nothing "true" something. It would be unamerican to say that at least, if not even antisoviet and counterrevolutionary. Call me a hippocrat but I'll have water to my wine.
Posted 11-20-2017 at 01:22 PM by CSasha
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Being a switch means that you can be both submissive and dominant. You don't have to be one or the other, you can be both.Quote:Originally Posted by IHeartfun
But how can you be a submissive if you switch?
(Just a conversation point)
For me, I don't consider myself a switch. I don't like that label and therefore choose not to use it. I feel that I am a submissive who also enjoys being s a Domme at times. However, I am naturally submissive, that is a part of who I am. I have to work at being Dominant in a relationship.
Again, it just goes to show that each person is different.Posted 11-20-2017 at 01:24 PM by Butterfly
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Absolutely. There are people who pretend to be 14 years old in order to lure young people into being their friend, just to take advantage of them. The fact is, those people aren't 14. Just like somebody pretending to be submissive, isn't submissive.Quote:Originally Posted by Drilldon
But you have to admit that there are people who only use it for wank fodder. Like they call themselfs D/S but really just want someone to talk dirty to them.
However, it is different when somebody is submissive or considers themselves submissive, and you tell them they aren't because they don't conform to x, y and z.Posted 11-20-2017 at 01:26 PM by Butterfly
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Are you trying to suggest that you don't need a Wizard dom to be a true sub?!Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
However, it is different when somebody is submissive or considers themselves submissive, and you tell them they aren't because they don't conform to x, y and z.
Posted 11-21-2017 at 01:06 AM by Masterwants
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Something along those lines :PQuote:Originally Posted by Masterwants
Are you trying to suggest that you don't need a Wizard dom to be a true sub?!
Posted 11-21-2017 at 09:04 AM by Butterfly
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I approve of this blog!
Way back I also wondered if I was really submissive because I didn't like certain things or couldn't do certain things.
But I've learned so much since then.Posted 11-21-2017 at 09:15 PM by Jaro 
