Pushed over the limit.

I've been pushed over the limit in real life before, but never like this. This wasn't an intensity issue. It wasn't unhygienic. It's not even something I've been shielded from in real life. I thought I'd share with you this particular time I was pushed over my limits because it's a very specific time, and I learned a lot about my self in this moment.

I was playing with a friend at uni. We'd had a great day exploring, doing parkour and generally having a great time. We went back to her kitchen and chatted, joked, flirted. We knew each other was into kink and we thought 'why not? We're only young once!'

Trouble is we didn't know one crucial difference between us: how much we were into feet.

I hate feet. I loath them. They make me feel a little bit ill to look at, actually. I don't hide from them. I do tricking in a room full of barefoot people, myself included. I once had an avatar where mine were prominently displayed. However, using them for sex makes me want to throw up.

We were both aroused, very much so. I'd gone down on her and got her into a state where she literally ripped my t-shirt pulling it off. We were ready to fuck until the flat's foundations crumbled. I smacked her ass as hard as I could, she screamed the word 'yes' louder than I'd ever heard: even than at football (soccer) match. It was at that point she pushed me onto the bed, sat at my feet and started playing with my dick with her feet.

No. No no no no. No no. No.

I couldn't even stay hard.

I had to tell her then and there that I needed a second to go and take a drink. I got dressed, ripped t-shirt and all, and quite soft now I walked gingerly into her flat kitchen. The person from the room next to hers had taken refuge in the kitchen it turned out. We exchanged awkward nods.

After about 5 minutes she emerged and joined me at the table in the kitchen. Her eyes were red, puffy. She had been crying. All I could do was put my arms around her.

We both said the words 'I'm sorry' at the exact same moment.

We were sorry. We had been dumb. We'd jumped into something serious, as friends, without even talking first. I mean, yeah, we'd spoken, but we'd never TALKED about that scenario. We had no safe word. No idea of what really gets one another going. If we'd carried on it would have been an humiliating experience and would have probably ruined a very strong friendship. This is why the friend-zone exists, I guess.

This is what I learned, however: never be embarrassed by your limits. Never do what you don't want/can't do because of the pressure of the situation.

We talked for a couple of hours. Really talked. Firstly in the kitchen, then back in the privacy of her room. I explained what was wrong and that it was my fault. She said she should have asked and that it was her fault. We did a bad.

However, the more we talked and the less embarrassed we became the more we flirted again. We discussed likes, dislikes, LOVES, never-evers, feet, my ripped shirt and the repayments (in spanks and money).

In the end we did fuck, a lot, and it was fantastic.

I'm sharing this because if she didn't live over 3,000 miles away we'd be inseparable. We talk all the time. Hopefully one day we'll get to meet again. Not saying we'll ever fuck again, but it'd be nice to spend another long night talking. Also because this is my reason for wanting to really get to know people before I dom/sub for them longer term. This experience shaped much of my personality in the scene. Rather than what I love and get crazed over, it was what I could never do which more strongly shaped who I am.

Jon out.