I'm actually an angel
I've heard/read a few different things (not ALL of them from people I dislike) that indicate to me a lack of understanding behind the motivations of bratting.
- I don't like when a sub rebels just to gain attention.
- I don't want a brat. I'd rather have a sub that actually WANTS to submit.
- I'm a real sub. I would never question my master. I always do as he says, no questions asked.
- I would never let my sub do that. I demand respect at all times.
I'm not knocking other styles of D/s. Everyone should do what works for them. But instead of saying please stop knocking mine, I'll give MY view on the brat style. Note that this may differ from others' bratting styles.
A letter to my dom:
When I question the way you do things, I'm not questioning your authority, not really. I know that you make the rules. I just want to understand how and why we're doing things the way we are. Something as simple as "Because I want to picture you just like that throughout the day," can make something that maybe doesn't do much for me into an awesome reminder of you all day long.
When I look for loopholes, I'm not trying to rebel, not really. I know that you have no problems correcting my interpretation of the way things are. And you usually make me giggle when you do so.
When I mock you, I'm not disrespecting you, not really. I don't do it because I think you're so weak that you'll put up with it. I do it because I know you're strong enough that it doesn't bother you overmuch. *cough* And because I think it's really funny.
I'm not doing any of this because I "don't actually want to submit" to you. Most of all, I do this because that's who I am. A smartass who talks back and resists authority upon occasion and likes to make jokes and tease. And I don't want to stop being me just so I can be your sub. Then I would have to stop being your sub just so I can be me. And I know that you're willing to accept me for me. And that, for some reason,* you're willing to put up with all of my riduculousness.
Maybe I can explain it this way: I like to wrestle. I have no professional training and I don't really want any. But I like the physical struggle and I like that I'm pinned down at the end. But since we can't do physical wrestlings, you get this instead. (Fine. To be honest, even if we could do physical, you would get this instead.)
I don't expect you to give in and let me have my way just because I pull tricks. And I certainly don't want you to think that I'm having a petty tantrum because I'm moping from not getting attention from you 24/7. I'm mostly just waiting for you to say something to put me in my place. I get such awesome happy dancing subby feelings when you do. And a chance to giggle when I get you to eyeroll, facepalm, or headdesk. Besides, can I help it if you have the best reactions to being teased?
- I don't like when a sub rebels just to gain attention.
- I don't want a brat. I'd rather have a sub that actually WANTS to submit.
- I'm a real sub. I would never question my master. I always do as he says, no questions asked.
- I would never let my sub do that. I demand respect at all times.
I'm not knocking other styles of D/s. Everyone should do what works for them. But instead of saying please stop knocking mine, I'll give MY view on the brat style. Note that this may differ from others' bratting styles.
A letter to my dom:
When I question the way you do things, I'm not questioning your authority, not really. I know that you make the rules. I just want to understand how and why we're doing things the way we are. Something as simple as "Because I want to picture you just like that throughout the day," can make something that maybe doesn't do much for me into an awesome reminder of you all day long.
When I look for loopholes, I'm not trying to rebel, not really. I know that you have no problems correcting my interpretation of the way things are. And you usually make me giggle when you do so.
When I mock you, I'm not disrespecting you, not really. I don't do it because I think you're so weak that you'll put up with it. I do it because I know you're strong enough that it doesn't bother you overmuch. *cough* And because I think it's really funny.
I'm not doing any of this because I "don't actually want to submit" to you. Most of all, I do this because that's who I am. A smartass who talks back and resists authority upon occasion and likes to make jokes and tease. And I don't want to stop being me just so I can be your sub. Then I would have to stop being your sub just so I can be me. And I know that you're willing to accept me for me. And that, for some reason,* you're willing to put up with all of my riduculousness.
Maybe I can explain it this way: I like to wrestle. I have no professional training and I don't really want any. But I like the physical struggle and I like that I'm pinned down at the end. But since we can't do physical wrestlings, you get this instead. (Fine. To be honest, even if we could do physical, you would get this instead.)
I don't expect you to give in and let me have my way just because I pull tricks. And I certainly don't want you to think that I'm having a petty tantrum because I'm moping from not getting attention from you 24/7. I'm mostly just waiting for you to say something to put me in my place. I get such awesome happy dancing subby feelings when you do. And a chance to giggle when I get you to eyeroll, facepalm, or headdesk. Besides, can I help it if you have the best reactions to being teased?
Total Comments 15
Comments
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I think, maybe, the people who have the strongest (genuinely) negative reactions to a 'bratty' sub might be the most likely to be lacking in self-confidence, a sense of humour, and the ability to see a sub as their equal outside of any scenes or sessions.
Good blog, kittenlyss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just off to try and get Tink under control.
Posted 08-29-2014 at 10:47 PM by Wardell 
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@Wardell: Ecactly. They should understand that it's just our way of showing love.
I'm sure she won't mind. I know being "under control" is one of my favorite places to be.Posted 08-29-2014 at 10:55 PM by kittenlyss
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Pffft GD acting up and posted twice.Posted 08-30-2014 at 12:07 AM by Happy Me
Updated 08-30-2014 at 12:10 AM by Happy Me -
😀 gahhhhh I love this!!! There is something really wonderful about a dom who knows how to intelligently deal with all of that and not try to squash your soul, isn't there?
Posted 08-30-2014 at 12:09 AM by Happy Me
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I love this post. This might be my favorite out of all of your posts. I don't think of myself as a bratty sub (my Dom apparently disagrees - I feel like this might be a conversation topic between us shortly), I certainly don't 'act out' which is what I've usually heard 'brattiness' described as. But now I'm re-evaluating that. I do tease my Dom, because it is fun and he can give it right back at least as good as I can dish it out. And I think part of why we are comfortable with such banter is because we both know that there is no time when I am not his...plus I know his ego can take it.
My questioning is for the exact same reason, including queries about loopholes - I love knowing what is going on in my Dom's head because then I am not only able to please him better (which is the best part) but I also am far more excited to do whatever he has devised.
My favorite part of this: "Most of all, I do this because that's who I am. A smartass who talks back and resists authority upon occasion and likes to make jokes and tease. And I don't want to stop being me just so I can be your sub. Then I would have to stop being your sub just so I can be me." I teared up at this because I (thankfully, briefly) lived this. There is nothing more miserable than having to not be yourself in order to please your dom, and nothing more wonderful than being able to please your Dom by being your truest self.
Thank you so much for writing and posting this, you lovely little angel
)Posted 08-30-2014 at 12:11 AM by naughtylittlegirl
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@HappyMe: It really is awesome. Knowing that he takes me as I am and is not trying to change me is probably the most amazing part about being his. I have never reacted well to quashing attempts. There is almost always collateral damage.
@NLG: I think everyone's definition of brat differs slightly. I'm not sure what people mean when they say "act out." It could be interpreted as a sub trying to manipulate their dom into doing things their way (aka "topping from the bottom") or acting petulantly after this fails. It could mean pulling pranks.
Now, loopholes, that's another interesting topic. With a lot of strong opinions on them. I've been accused of following the letter of the task instead of the spirit of it. But I believe loopholes were put there to be used. I'm not saying I'm going to try to decieve my dom and pretend I did as he said. Or that if he gives me a task and isn't around when I do it, that I'll intentionally interpret it so it's as easy as possible for me, despite his meaning being clear.
One day, he told me to take a picture of myself and send it to him. Good subby that I am, I held my phone out in front of myself and took a picture, sent it to himn and waited in anticipation for his reply. A few minutes later, I get a message from him "Why do I have a clothed picture of your stomach ?" We had a lively debate about whether I should have understood that I was meant to take an unclothed picture. Of course I knew that's what he meant. So I finally sent him that one too, which was taken at the same time as the first picture.
I had no intention of disobeying what I understood his directions to be. I just was maybe not as timely in providing the picture he actually wanted as I could have been. I'm not saying I always make him jump through hoops to dom me. He doesn't enjoy being on the receiving end of my rules lawyering as much as I enjoy dishing it out. So we've managed to compromise, I try to hold back, but occasionally I just go to town. And that's ok for us. Because we both know that at the end of the day, he's the boss.
And in regards to the part you quoted me on, I feel like it's a deeper submission. The other is more like wearing a mask, roleplaying if you will. I don't think I could maintain a long-running relationship and NOT show who I really am. And since I don't get much out of the online version of one night stands, I don't see the point in pretending. Well, some pretending can be fun. Anyone wanna play "Savage Indian and Dumb-prairie-girl-that-just-don't-know-no-better"?
Also, thanks for all the bloggy loves. I love your faces.Posted 08-30-2014 at 01:00 AM by kittenlyss
Updated 08-30-2014 at 01:09 AM by kittenlyss -
I agree, particularly about your comments on deeper submission. I decided when my Dom and I first started seriously discussing the possibility of our relationship that I would be myself as purely and fully as I could, and if it didn't work, so be it. Roleplaying has been fun for me, but in small doses, and it is certainly no substitute for being able to be yourself with someone like I can be with my Dom (and as I think you are with yours
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Loopholes I don't have a ton of experience. My Dom is pretty detailed (which I appreciate and adore). Some things tasks have had areas that have been left vague which I view as flexible - I will try it the way I think the task-giver most likely intended, or adjust if I can't manage it that way. For example, in one task the dom told me to use my dildo - well, I have three, two of which are quite large and require a lot of stretching, so in context the smallest of the three fit best and allowed me to complete the task. That being said, there are those golden opportunities to tease one's dom back that are just too good to let go. And the resulting discussions are some of my favorite memories)Posted 08-30-2014 at 01:33 AM by naughtylittlegirl
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The wrestling analogy is great.
Seriously, what dom wouldn't want an opportunity to pin down his/her sub?
And the part about being yourself. It would be very boring if you always had to be so very serious and were never allowed to let your personality shine through (for both dom and sub and both their personalities).Posted 08-30-2014 at 04:03 AM by madl
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@NLG: Teasing is the best. I'm waiting anxiously until he gets back from out of town because I have a fun little joke planned and I REALLY want his reaction in real time.
@madl: I think of them as aggressive cuddles. Being pinned down is the best though.
Yes, I get bored easily too. Constantly playing Miss Meek Mouse would likely bore me in seconds.Posted 08-30-2014 at 04:10 AM by kittenlyss
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I like your face.
I dont have much to say to this i think. I usually just try to do my best in any regard. Yet its fun to point ot loopholes but I dont think I ever really used one. But If I ever want to I think Im pretty much able to find anything pretty fast. :PPosted 08-30-2014 at 06:47 AM by SweetTeen
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@SweeTea: My rule of thumb with loopholes is
1) never use with punishments
2) never behind his back
Other than that, I just try not to be too predictable about it. Like I don't usually use the same loophole twice.
I like your tomate-y face moooooore.Posted 08-30-2014 at 08:34 AM by kittenlyss
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I didn't think I was a bratty sub until I read your post... *reconsiders*
Under your definition... I totally am! Hehe! It's much too fun to tease and find loopholes! Not that that happens often... DrW gives very specific tasks *roles eyes*. Sure, I might submit, but I still digitally pinch his bum! Hehe!
Wonderful blog! I loved reading it!Posted 08-30-2014 at 10:52 AM by eivins
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I think everyone has a different definition of brat. But there is a difference (to me) between someone who doesn't actually want to be a sub and a bratty sub in a functioning relationship. And the dommys are fun to poke at, aren't they?
Posted 08-31-2014 at 07:50 AM by kittenlyss
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Oh, I can't believe I missed this post! I think this is what I'm like a lot of the time when I talk back (and yeah, it is *really* funny doing that.) If I have problems with explaining that aspect of my personality again I think I'll just direct them to this blog, because it makes things so very clear (and is, as always, an entertaining read.) I suppose so many people say they don't want to be/have a sub who is bratty because they haven't defined it in this way (I usually tend to describe myself as "cheeky" and then if I'm being annoying just for the sake of it I would class that as being "bratty.")Posted 09-09-2014 at 12:49 AM by Siren
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@Dare: I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's another one of those things I have trouble explaining in the heat of the moment. And I actually do enjoy being annoying just for the sake of it on occasion. So maybe I waver between cheeky and bratty.
Posted 09-09-2014 at 08:54 AM by kittenlyss
