Unexpected Beginning {Fiction}

[CodtsQ]

This is my first story, but I have had some different types of writing experiences before. I thought I would try my hand at this sort of writing. Please, tell me what you think.
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Unexpected Beginning

"Finally!" Chakotay exclaimed as he bursted through the front door of his house. His two sisters and his mom were going on a week long trip to Florida for warmer climate, and his dad was on a business trip and wouldn't be back for at least a week. It was winter break from school and he was more than content to be home alone for a week.

As he watched his sisters and mom exit the house, he patiently waited for them to drive past the front room's window. It took about five minutes, but once they left he knew he was in the clear. He spun around in the chair he was sitting in and began to type rapidly into his computer. He first brought up the Getdare website and checked his messages. He clicked on the words that informed him of his one new message. It opened quickly and he read the title intently. It read "Obedient Slave Wanted". His heart thumbed hardly in his chest. He had always wanted to try out the slave roll, and thought he could handle it.

He scrolled down the computer screen and looked at the actual message. It read "Hi. I looked at you sig and profile and saw that you would like to become a slave. It says that you are 14 and since I am 15, I thought it would be an ok match. If you are interested, pm back. Thanks, Kes."

He couldn't believe it. A perfect Mistress that just randomly contacts him. Great, he thought, This is the perfect thing to do for a week. He clicked the "Post Reply" button under the message and began typing. "It would be great if you would be my Mistress, but I think it will have to be a short-term relationship. I'm alone in my house, but only for a week. If that's ok, I would be completely willing to try it out. " He then clicked the "Submit Message" button under the message he had just typed.

He then went on to a few different sites to wait for the reply from Kes. He listened to music, played online flash games, and just surfed the web. He checked back on Getdare every ten minutes or so. The first two times nothing was there, but on the third check there was one new message. He clicked.

The message, again, opened quickly and he began to read. "That would be ok with me, but when your summer vacation comes around, I would like it if we could continue this relationship, if your family is out again." The message said more about web cams, which Chakotay had, and of msn addresses. Once he was finished reading he clicked the "Post Reply" button once more. He said that he had a web cam, told her his msn address, and that his family will probably be going somewhere in the summer as well. He ended his message with "I'm ready to start whenever you are." and clicked "Submit Reply".

[maxim]

Wow, great start just please don't rush it and use clifhangers can't wait for next part

[chubbsman7]

Interesting beginning! I'm hoping this turns out well!!

[BLOEM51]

Great start,Keep going