[Non-Fiction] Seven Minutes in the Bathroom with A Drunk Asian Chick - Happy Ending...?

[dareupyourparty]

So here I am. 17 and at the height of puberty with only a year left before I turn into a full fledge adult.

My friends and I found a party for the weekend and, as always, it was gonna be the night we finally did "it" and by "it" I mean get laid.

Of course this is an ongoing treasure hunt for a rag-tag team like ours but none the less here we were.
At a random friend of a friend's house out in some suburban neighborhood of southern California that really could have been anywhere.

There was the usual older crowd, you know the one's that probably started the party, and brought the booze, and were also looking for a cheap high-school grade hook-up.
Anyways the party reached its plateau around 2 A.M. and everybody that had their fun went home.

My buddies and I were the last few remaining along with some random girls from what I assumed were nearby high schools or whatever. It didn't matter.

They were girls. And we were all drunk.

I'd like to say we played spin the bottle or some kind of cheesy thing like that but it turned out to be more of a lightweight drunks version of truth or dare.
Without any of the truth and more of the "let's see if we can get naked" aspect.

So here I am, drunk off my ass, at least one or two of my friends MIA, and a couple of cute girls with what I guessed was a couple of Asian transfer girls from... who the hell cares at this point.

One by one we all get ourselves into awkward and embarrassing situations like

• trying to drink a bottle of bad beer off a girl's chest (a girl who's breasts were hardly there to begin with)
  
• or attempting to do a piggy back make out session (that is the only way I could describe what had happened.)

All in all good times but yes, here's the kicker!
It was finally my turn and thus the inevitable becoming of being a man before actually becoming a man.

I guess you can describe it as 7 minutes in heaven but the closet was a bathroom and I'm pretty sure somebody has passed out behind the shower curtain.

So me and Asian girl number three start awkwardly kissing and groping, eventually the peeling of the clothes starts. Now me being a healthy teenage boy I was already pretty excited at this point. You don't need me to explain "excited" do you...?

Well, the urge continued to grow and so I try to stall, this girl looks at me awkwardly with what I had assumed was a look of “Just You Wait and See”!

She clumsily stumbles to her knees and my heart starts racing.

I am against the wall at this point and she starts swaying all sexy like.

I can't take it anymore, the anticipation is killing me!

It finally happens. She edges ever closer and... passes out.

I was so confused I didn’t know what to do or say or feel so I put my hands on her shoulders and begin to lift her up to make sure she was still alive.

That’s when she suddenly opens her eyes, then mouth, and projectile vomits directly onto my now underwear clad nether regions.

Now that was pretty bad, but it got worse.

The overall excitement of the entire situation, tethered with the strangely wet/warm feeling of bad booze and fast food finally pushed the boundaries of what I had been trying to subdue for the last few minutes.

Was it gross?

Yes.

Did I feel dirty when it all came gushing out (of me not her)?

Most definitely.

But what I truly felt was complete and utter embarrassment when my friends came crashing through the door because they heard a blood curdling yell and suspected the worst.

Who was screaming?

The answer: Me.

Apparently when it all culminated the only thing I could do was open my mouth and let out a strange pleasure/disgusted/help me noise that confused everybody involved.

I was quickly ushered out, jacket wrapped around my waist and me shaking.

It was a long night.