...What You Can't Have

[KatieK]

Hey, just a little experiment, we'll see where this goes. To be honest I'm an attention whore and I love feedback, so if you want me to keep writing please leave a comment so I know my effort is appreciated, because honestly this does take a lot of time. And if you hate it, I'm pretty okay with you saying so, I'm okay with criticism. Also, suggestions or ideas for new chapters are always helpful in overcoming writer's block, although I make no promises to include anything. Thanks and I hope you like it.

Oh and this first part doesn't have anything real sexy in it, but we'll get there.

Also let me know if I should make the story purple too, or leave it black.

...What You Can't Have
Prologue

I am not a “country girl.” The country has crops and livestock. I live in Pennsylvania. All we have is trees. Trees and a cat.

I am not a “small town girl.” To be a small town girl, you have to live in a town. I live in a house on the side of a hill, in the middle of a forest. My brother and sisters and I help my Mama make maple syrup, which we sell downstate, and my Daddy owns that gas station down at the junction. That is not a town. That is one house and a gas station.

Now I was 14 and had just started going to school, on account I had been homeschooled up until ninth grade because before that I wasn't old enough to walk down to the bus stop on my own, and the school was all the way into Bradford anyway, and I wouldn't have gotten home in time to help Mama with the supper, and Mama says public schools are secular anyway, which means they don't think there's a God, even though I know Mrs. Hanson and Mrs. Anderson, from church, and they teach at the public school and they believe in God, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyways, Mama said she didn't know enough to teach me any more math or science after 8th grade, and Daddy say's it's real important I go to college, so they figured the best bet was for me to go to the big public school up the highway. Now you might think we'd have a shitty little public school (I swear, just not around my Mama, Daddy doesn't mind, he say's it's cute as long as I don't do it too much) but since there's only one high school in McKean county, it means it has to be pretty big, so there's about fifteen hundred kids up at the high school, and it's all new and pretty well funded, on account of being the only the only school to fund in our district.

Our driveway runs about a half mile to the McHenry's property and merges with their driveway and runs down our property line about three quarters of a mile down to route 346, where the bus stops for me and Allen, who is the McHenry's oldest child. He's in my year, though he's been going to public school since 6th grade. Usually he waits for me where the driveways meet, and then we walk down together to wait for the bus.

Allen is the only person my age who's not related to me for several miles, so we've always been best friends growing up. He's bulked up a lot in the past year and he's getting taller, I'd put in around 150 and 5'6, and pretty muscular. He's got dirty blonde hair and these fierce blue-gray eyes, and he's always freckled from working in the sun. Anyway I guess you could say I've taken a fancy to him in the last few months, though I haven't said anything to him, because even though it's 2012 I don't exactly come from the most forward thinking family, and a girl asking a boy out is still a big no-no.

Also, I don't think there's a great chance he likes me. First of all he's known me his whole life and we used to like, take baths together as babies (course we don't remember or anything because we were too young). Second of all, I think I look okay, and I have a decent body, but I'm just not all made up and I don't have every little thing perfect like a lot of the girls from in town, and he's been going to school with those girls for years now and I've been at home, so I figure he's probably used to that. I know he dated a cheerleader until about about six months ago, and if that's his type I don't think I'm going to have a lot of luck with him.

My Daddy says I need to be careful looking boys in the eyes because I have Mama's deep green eyes and I shouldn't make them fall in love with me unless I'm sure I'll love them back. But obviously he's biased, because I'm his daughter, and his oldest, and a daddy's girl to boot.

I'm pretty thin, I'm a size four, and I'm pretty fit, so I have a flat stomach and my ass sticks out okay, but I don't really have hips or anything, and I'm 5'2 so I don't have legs for miles. I have long straight hair that is impossible to do anything with, and it's the boringest shade of brown you can imagine. The biggest issue is that I have acne. I always have at least a couple pimples on my face, and I get them on my shoulders and neck and back too.

I've always dressed pretty modest, but my biggest advantage that I have tried to leverage a little in the past few month is that I have pretty decent boobs. Mama says I'm a early bloomer, I started growing boobs in about second grade, and now I wear 32C bra, even though they are so perky I really don't need to, and I'm pretty sure they're still growing a bit.

Like I said I've always been fairly modest, but last spring when I went to get some new warm weather clothes I got some tank tops that are are a little looser so they show a little more cleavage, especially when I move around or lean over, and I've started wearing my shorts and jeans from when I was a little younger so they are pretty tight around my ass. And pretty much the whole reason for that is so Allen will notice me, but so far no luck. Honestly, I think I'm way to far in the sister category for something like that to work anyway.

So the day in question, the day that changed my life, was a Friday, in late September. It was unseasonably warm, and I wore shorts, sandals and a tank top as I shuffled down our driveway in the early morning mist. I smiled as Allen came into view, and I was glad it was foggy because I'm pretty sure I blushed as Allen hugged me briefly, but I'm sure I blushed when he said, “Hey Cris, you look cute today.”

“You're sweet,” I mumbled back. We walked along in awkward silence, the mist was lifting. I could see the highway where the bus would pick us up when he spoke again.

“So, Jess is having a party tonight, want to come?”

“Umm, I'm not sure.”

“Come on, you like Jess, and she specifically said to invite you.”

“I'll think about it.” I wasn't sure. I wouldn't know a lot of people at a public school party, but I did know Jess and I went to her house sometimes, and we were good friends, although not as good as me and Allen. Still, I am an introvert, and a crowded house party wasn't the most appealing thing. On the other hand, I wouldn't mind spending more time with Allen.

Allen gave a fake whine. “Pleeeeeease? I promise it'll be a lot of fun...”

[Hunterman36]

I like it sounds like a good story and I am looking forward to more.

[KatieK]

Stupid request, but can someone mod the title so there are three dots in front not two?

[nailo]

Nice start. Looking forward to finding out what happens next.

[tcfd403]

Waiting for more it' s off to a good start

[KatieK]

Okay first chapter, feedback, positive and negative, is always really helpful. Also ideas of routes the story could take are also appreciated.

...What You Can't Have
Chapter One: Party

“Come on Cristina just pile in!” Jess called out the window of her Suburban.

“There's no room, though.”

“Just sit on my lap Cris,” Allen called.

I got in. I admit it felt great just to sit on his lap. I could tell he didn't know what to do with his hands. There was no room to put them to his sides. I was wearing shorts, my legs were bare, he almost touched my crotch by accident. “Is this too far? Is he uncomfortable?” I didn't know.

I have a secret. I've watched porn. We have the internet even in the boondocks. It seems like a lot of people do it, but I doubt anyone from around here does. Cosmo says most guys would prefer their girlfriend had seen at least some porn because all guys have watched porn. I doubt Allen does, he's too innocent.

The point is even though I've never done anything with a guy I know about sex and stuff. I wondered if he had a boner. I knew my ass was less than an inch from his dick, under his clothes. I wondered if that turned him on. I hoped it did. For a second I felt bad, thinking that, it seemed wrong, but I pushed it out of my mind.

I have masturbated for a long time. Sometimes I feel really bad about it. I have tried to quit several times, tried really hard and I can't stop. It makes me feel sick, like I have a problem, an addiction. In church they would say I have a weakness to habitual sexual sin.

I started masturbating when I was very young, before I had a period, before I had pubic hair. First grade maybe. That is not normal, I've read about it online. A lot of people masturbate, although a lot more guys than girls, but most people start a lot later. Starting that soon is a sign that you were sexually abused. I don't think I was abused. I can't remember anything like that anyway. I guess it just has something to do with being an early bloomer. I don't think about it much because it makes me feel like a freak.

When we got to Jessica's house everyone was really nice. I knew more of the girls than I was expecting. For guys I mostly only knew Allen. Jessica's parents said hi and told us where the food was and everything. Maybe when you think party you think alcohol, but around here there's only alcohol at parties like, out in the woods where there are no adults. None of the adults around here would like you drink in their house.

We were outside on the deck next to the pool. Some of us played cards, I played because I'm not very good at small talk and I'm good at cards. We played Kemps and Allen and I were partners. We won several times because Allen and I know each other really well and we've played before and we have a bunch of secret signals and everything.

After that a bunch of us played spoons, it was a crazy game because there were really too many people playing.

After a few rounds someone said, “I think we need stakes. How about whoever loses gets thrown in the pool.”

“Umm, I don't have a change of clothes.” I said nervously.

“Oh they're just joking around,” said a very small girl who I thought might be named Sarah.

“You know, for you Sarah, we might not joking,” a guy nest to her smirked.

“Try it. 'Though I be but little, I am fierce!'”

“Nice Shakespeare,” I laughed.

She laughed with me, “Yea well sometimes, when you're small, you gotta remind everyone who's boss.”

She was very small, maybe five one, probably wore a double zero. As you might imagine she didn't have much of a bust, but she had a cute, round face with a clear complexion and brilliant blue eyes. She was wearing tight denim shorts that showed off a cute little ass, and a thin white tank top. This last item turned out to be a rather unfortunate choice, because she did lose at spoons, and the guy who teased her grabbed her from behind and, over much protest, tossed her unceremoniously in the pool, and her white top turned transparent, revealing a lacy pink bra.

None of us could help laughing, although I was also feeling a little bit bad for her when someone grabbed my butt. Time froze for me, I took a sharp breath, I wasn't okay with being groped. My head snapped around. I saw Allen. He had a mischievous smile on his face. I was torn. I was flattered, I felt betrayed, I was offended, I was excited he might like me. He was lifting me in the air, over his shoulder. Okay, I guess it was okay to touch my ass for that. Why, though? It dawned on me. I screamed. I grabbed at his shirt. I laughed, I screamed again. He was too strong. I tried to tell him I didn't have a change of clothes. It was too late.

I was in the pool. It would be funny in a few seconds, but right now I was furious.

“I am SO MAD at your right now,” I yelled when I surfaced. My hair was everywhere, clinging to my face, in my mouth. My make up was running. I ran my hands over my face.

“Sorry Cris, I had to. Your face right now is so precious.”

My anger abated because soon, everyone was in the pool, although most of them opted to put on swimsuits first. Pools are made for flirting. Everyone looks sexy wet, you splash around and tease each other, you can get a lot closer than would be acceptable on dry ground.

I had a few close moments with Allen. He grabbed my ass again so he could pick me up and dunk me. I grabbed his legs from the bottom of the pool –people are much lighter in the water– and lifted him enough to dunk him back.

In a pause in the action I found myself next to Jessica. I took the opportunity to ask, “Hey Jess, you don't have any clothes I can change into do you?”

“Probably, but you can also borrow a swimsuit and we can put your stuff in the dryer now. It should be ready to wear in an hour or so.”

“That would be great.”

“Here, follow me, for a second and we'll get you something.”

We hopped out of the pool and I followed her into the house.

“You're a little smaller than me, but I have a suit from a couple years ago that should fit you pretty well.”

“Thanks Jess,” I said as I headed into the bathroom. I unwrapped my towel and began to shed my clothes. She handed me a bikini through the door.

Jess's bikini was either from quite a few years ago, or she had worn much skimpier suits than I ever had. I had expected her top wouldn't fit my boobs too well, since she wasn't as well endowed as me now, let alone a couple years ago. My cleavage was pressed up and together like I was wearing an expensive push up bra, and my boobs pushed out slightly on the sides and even the bottom of her black string bikini. My tan lines showed very clearly.

I wasn't worried about my boobs too much though. My boobs had drawn attention since second grade, and everyone knew I was wearing someone else's suit. Maybe it would help turn Allen's head. What concerned me was the bottoms.

I don't own a bikini. I usually wear a tankini, which has bottoms cut like short shorts. Furthermore, it was September, and everyone without a heated pool had stopped swimming weeks ago. The point is that I don't shave downstairs, and even during swim season, which is wasn't, I don't trim as much as would be needed to look ladylike in this tiny bikini.

I was about to walk out of the bathroom when I noticed this. I stopped, the door half open. Blushing, I stuck my head out of the door instead, and hoping Jessica has forgotten I wore shorts to the party, called out, “Hey Jess, can I borrow your razor?”

“Oh sure, let me get it from the other bathroom. Do you need shaving cream?”

“If you don't mind.”

“Of course.”

I closed the door again and fumbled through the drawers. Feeling vaguely rude for searching through another family's bathroom, I finally found what I was looking for: scissors, though, admittedly, they were the little silver hangnail scissors. They would have to do.

I peeled the skintight bikini bottoms off my ass and dropped them unceremoniously on the floor. I had the hair trimmed down to a reasonable level by the time Jess knocked on the door with a razor. I turned on the water on in the shower and did the fastest shaving job done on earth, being careful not to cut anything important. I pulled the bottoms back up, spared a moment for a worried look at the subtle camel toe the tiny suit showed, and hurry off to join Jess, who was already back in the pool.

I jumped in and said hi to Allen. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed like he was looking a little lower than my face when he responded to me. I blushed. I had never shaved down there before. The feeling was weird and vaguely arousing. It felt cool and slick, especially in the water. We decided to have chicken fights, and after the first group was done, Allen hoisted me until his shoulders.

His neck pressed against my pussy and I stifled a gasp before I could readjust myself to a less stimulating position. I was up against Sarah and they guy who had thrown her in the pool. We had a long fight, which started out with a lot of laughing and got steadily more serious, at least for us, as we struggled to push the other into the water. Eventually Allen backed up at the right time, and I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her face first into the water.

Next we fought Jessica on a boy I didn't know. She was stronger than me, and I was already tired. I was determined to put up a fight though. I started to slip, and Allen readjusted his grip further up my legs, which felt a lot better than it should have. The other boy stepped closer and Allen lost his balance, we both toppled backwards towards the decline into the deep end.

It took a second for him to untangle his arms from my legs. I saw him twist around to get his bearings, we were tangled on top of each other. My foot found the bottom and I pushed off towards the surface. I felt some part of Adam touch my arm as I surfaced. Suddenly a hand grabbed my right boob, pushing it into my chest, and instantly withdrew.

I wiped the water out of my eyes and looked around blushing. Allen had just surfaced. I wondered if he knew what he had just touched. He did. I could tell from his face.


“Cris, did I just, you know? I'm really sorry.”

I felt myself blush from forehead to chest, but I kept cool. “Yea,” I laughed a little, “it's not big deal don't worry about it.”

“I'm really sorry.”

“It was an accident chill out,” I said.

“Okay... sorry...”

I laughed again, this time for real. Allen always apologized too much.

“Come on, I think they're gonna play volleyball,” I said to break the silence.

“Great, I call the tall people team,” he replied. I punched him.

As we waded to the shallow end by the net, I saw him looking down at me sideways. The hard thing about being short is that it's really hard to tell what guys are looking at when they look at you, because both your eyes and your boobs are down to them, but he was definitely looking at me more than usual, and that was something.

I wondered again if he was hard. I wondered if there was a way I could know. I was preoccupied with excuses to bump into him while we picked teams, but I couldn't come up with anything that was likely to work and acceptably subtle.

Volleyball was fun and uneventful. We wrapped up in towels and piled into the sun room to watch a move. The furniture was waterproof so we could dry off and watch the movie before changing into our dry clothes. The couch was packed and people were sitting on the floor. Deciding to use the skimpy bikini as best I could while I still had an excuse to be wearing it, I pulled the towel off and, summoned the courage to sit on Allen's lap again. I decided it would be least awkward if I just went for it, instead of asking, so I plopped down on his lap, and he didn't say anything.

I couldn't pay attention to the movie, I spent most of the time wondering if Allen liked me sitting on him, if he was hard, if he liked how my ass felt, that sort of thing. After awhile he took to resting his arms on my legs, and I desperately wanted to hold his hand, but that would have been much too obvious.

The movie ended, and we decided to play apples to apples. I stood up, but waited to move for several seconds, looking around like I was trying to decide where to go. I figured it wouldn't hurt to have my ass right in front of Allen's face. He couldn't assume it was anything but innocent.

Apples to apples is always hilarious, and it ran quite long. Soon it was time for most of the people to go home. Allen said his parents could drive me.

“Hey Cris, some of us girls are gonna have a sleepover, you wanna stay overnight?”

“Umm...” I wasn't sure.

“You should stay Cris, get to know the girls a little better.”

“I didn't bring any stuff.”

“That's okay, you can use my toiletries, and I can lend you something to sleep in. You can just throw on the clothes you wore today when you leave.”

“Umm, okay then, I'll stay, let me make sure it's okay with my parents.”

The sleepover was not as exciting as I was expecting. We just played some more apples to apples, and then flipped around late night television to see if there was interesting.

Finally, Sarah announced, “Alright, we need to do something more fun.”

“What did you have in mind?” Jess asked.

“Hmm,” Sarah cracked a mischievous smile, “How about truth or dare?”

[daremaster 1]

I thank this story is starting off great!

[nailo]

Loving the story. I like how she is so innocent, but doesn't want to be. My idea would be to at some point have Allen accedently walk in on her either naked, watching her porn, or actualy masturbating. I would love to see how they handle that.

[themasterman]

nice story i cant wait for you next post

[fitzsan]

great story so far going to be keeping on eye on this one

[Username87654]

I love it! I can't wait for my next part.

[orangegongman]

Great story, keep it up!!! (u should have boys crash the party lol)