Fiction: (MxM) A year to remember... - Page 3

immaeatu · 09-05-2011, 09:03 PM

Hehehe I loVe this update ;D FIRST COMMENT~~

Kewai · 09-05-2011, 09:35 PM

Absolutely Amazing. I loved it soo much, It was definitely worth the wait. I hope to read more soon

Saphir · 09-06-2011, 06:47 AM

nice chap, I'm looking forward to reading more

Love

alex987 · 09-06-2011, 12:52 PM

This was a really great update. I loved it

nuditydudity · 09-06-2011, 09:31 PM

Great update. Glad that you are continuing the story. Only criticism would be to be careful not to rush it too much. But great story!

Tylerr · 09-06-2011, 09:31 PM

I always saw your comments on every story I read and every time i was like Sh*t this kid should write...i was rightt...your AMAZING!

kinky · 09-07-2011, 04:02 AM

Nice. Let's see how it goes now

Koty920 · 09-08-2011, 02:26 PM

Thank you soooo much to everyone that commented. It means the world to me that my audience likes my writing. If you have any suggestions, not just criticism, feel free to PM me with them.

I don't currently have a chapter planned, so it might be a little while until I get the next chapter up, but hopefully not nearly as long as last time. Marching band is controlling my life.

Red · 09-08-2011, 07:30 PM

Yay marching band!! Best years of my life.

Koty920 · 09-08-2011, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhead18

Yay marching band!! Best years of my life.

Really? What instrument? I'm on drumline, Whup Whup!

dirtylittleboy · 09-09-2011, 07:39 PM

baritone. low brass and drumline for the win

Red · 09-09-2011, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Koty920

Really? What instrument? I'm on drumline, Whup Whup!

I was in the pit! I played marimba and xylo in marching band and winter drumline.

Koty920 · 09-15-2011, 09:06 PM

Sorry about the delay. Marching band is taking over my life, but I finally got a chance to write chapter 3. As always, please comment and let me know if I can change anything. It helps me know what I can fix when people say things other than just "good job keep writing." Well, I do love it when people say things like that, but if you would, just add in a little note on something I can change. Ok, enough babbling. Here we are...

-----

"Hey let's go take a walk." I offered. "I'm getting tired of sitting around here. Besides, it looks like the storm stopped."

"But it's soaked outside. And I didn't pack a change of clothes." Sean replied.

"That's fine. You can borrow some of mine."

With that, we got up, put our clothes back on, and headed outside. We started walking around the block, not saying anything for the first couple of minutes. After about 5 minutes of walking in silence, I decided to break the ice, since I wanted to know more about the side of Sean I never knew before.

"So..." I started, "Have you came out to anyone else?"

"No. You're the only person I've ever really trusted enough to tell." He replied.

"Well I promise you, I'll never betray you, Sean. I'd take a bullet for you any day of the week."

"You really mean that?" I nodded. "Wow. You really are a good friend." He paused, letting that last statement sink in. "What about you? Have you told anyone else?"

"Yeah. I told my friend Andrew in 7th grade last year. And I told Emilio in our class, then Emilio's brother Jose' saw Emilio's phone, so that makes 4 including you."

"Well I'm glad you trust me, Koty." He stopped walking and looked at me with those deep ocean blue eyes. He spread is arms and I embraced him in the tightest hug I've ever had. I could tell that this was more than just a brotherly hug. It had started raining again, so it felt like we were in a movie. After what seemed like forever, but was actually only about 2 minutes, we let go of each other.

Since we were just around the corner from my house, we took off running, hitting every rain puddle we saw. Once we got in the front door, I turned to find Sean soaking wet and said "Let's go get changed in my room."

He followed me upstairs, and I got out a pair of Playboy shorts and a Volcom T-shirt. I threw them on the bed for Sean. He took off his wet T-shirt, revealing his sexy body. He had a six pack that was enough to be very sexy, but not too much that he looked like he had no life outside the gym. I made no effort to hide the fact that I was staring at him as he changed. He saw me staring and continued to unbutton his jeans (which were almost like skinny jeans by now with all the water). He dropped them, showing his boxers that were now clinging to his body. I could see that he, like me, had a semi forming. He slowly, and very sexily, slid down his boxers to his ankles. His dick looked about 4.5 inches semi-hard. His pubes were shaved, which turns me on like a light bulb.

"No need for these anymore." He said as he threw his boxers into my clothes bin...

-----

Tell me what you think. Please comment, and rate me 5 stars, please!

Much love to all, Koty

(P.S. thank you so much to my 2 consultants for helping me out through my rough spots. You know who you are...)

Kewai · 09-15-2011, 09:20 PM

Okay, First of I want to say that I loved the update. Second I want to say that I spent 5 minutes re-reading the passage looking for stuff that I would like to see improved, I couldn't see anything major but in my opinion I would love to see more description of feeling (touch and emotional) in things like the kiss or more description when they were getting undressed.

But I loved it either way, Good Job

nuditydudity · 09-15-2011, 09:40 PM

Great job with the new update! I really like the story. I like the amount of character development that you have, but be sure not to lose that detail when you write future chapters that move towards a sexier take on the story. That detail and info about what the characters are feeling helps make a story great. We'll like it more if we care about the characters themselves.
So well done, and keep it up!

09-05-2011, 09:03 PM	#31
immaeatu Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Unicorn Village <3 Posts: 147	Hehehe I loVe this update ;D FIRST COMMENT~~ __________________ i wish i had a tentacle beard... props to you Davy Jones ;o Newly in a relationship with my David <3

09-05-2011, 09:35 PM	#32
Kewai getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 372 Blog Entries: 8	Absolutely Amazing. I loved it soo much, It was definitely worth the wait. I hope to read more soon __________________ 18/M/Bi/New Zealand

09-06-2011, 12:52 PM	#34
alex987 Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: not in North America ;P Posts: 93	This was a really great update. I loved it __________________ 14/Male/American/German ^^ <3

09-06-2011, 09:31 PM	#35
nuditydudity Distinguished Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Posts: 573	Great update. Glad that you are continuing the story. Only criticism would be to be careful not to rush it too much. But great story! __________________ 9 Years on getDare!! Sing like you know the lyrics Dance like no one is watching Live like you were dying Love like you've never been hurt before

09-06-2011, 09:31 PM	#36
Tylerr Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Narnia Posts: 108	*I always saw your comments on every story I read and every time i was like Sht this kid should write...i was rightt...your AMAZING!** __________________ All have been alive, but only few have lived Tyler [: Lets play Truth or Dare! PM me or Email me! Email me @ [email protected]

09-06-2011, 06:47 AM	#33
Saphir getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 425	nice chap, I'm looking forward to reading more Love

09-07-2011, 04:02 AM	#37
kinky getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: England! Posts: 300	Nice. Let's see how it goes now __________________ 16 / Male / UK PM me as many truths as you like, I'll answer them no matter what Edit: (22/05/2016) - Last activity was in 2013. I've grown up now :O Edit edit: 23/01/2018 - Wow, happy to see the forum still alive. Amazing nostalgia and how young I was.

09-08-2011, 02:26 PM	#38
Koty920 Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A room with white padded walls Posts: 67	Thank you soooo much to everyone that commented. It means the world to me that my audience likes my writing. If you have any suggestions, not just criticism, feel free to PM me with them. I don't currently have a chapter planned, so it might be a little while until I get the next chapter up, but hopefully not nearly as long as last time. Marching band is controlling my life. __________________ Koty-14-M-USA I officially LOVE you, Dylan! This webpage is printed on 100% recycled electrons.

09-08-2011, 07:30 PM	#39
Red Sona Forever Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2,146	Yay marching band!! Best years of my life.

09-09-2011, 07:39 PM	#41
dirtylittleboy Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: eastern time zone Posts: 217 Blog Entries: 2	baritone. low brass and drumline for the win __________________ 18/M/USA/gay/sub preferred but can switch skype. webcam, guys 18-25. Just got into hypno files. pm if you wanna help me out Likes and Limits KinkTalk profile

09-15-2011, 09:06 PM	#43
Koty920 Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: A room with white padded walls Posts: 67	Sorry about the delay. Marching band is taking over my life, but I finally got a chance to write chapter 3. As always, please comment and let me know if I can change anything. It helps me know what I can fix when people say things other than just "good job keep writing." Well, I do love it when people say things like that, but if you would, just add in a little note on something I can change. Ok, enough babbling. Here we are... ----- "Hey let's go take a walk." I offered. "I'm getting tired of sitting around here. Besides, it looks like the storm stopped." "But it's soaked outside. And I didn't pack a change of clothes." Sean replied. "That's fine. You can borrow some of mine." With that, we got up, put our clothes back on, and headed outside. We started walking around the block, not saying anything for the first couple of minutes. After about 5 minutes of walking in silence, I decided to break the ice, since I wanted to know more about the side of Sean I never knew before. "So..." I started, "Have you came out to anyone else?" "No. You're the only person I've ever really trusted enough to tell." He replied. "Well I promise you, I'll never betray you, Sean. I'd take a bullet for you any day of the week." "You really mean that?" I nodded. "Wow. You really are a good friend." He paused, letting that last statement sink in. "What about you? Have you told anyone else?" "Yeah. I told my friend Andrew in 7th grade last year. And I told Emilio in our class, then Emilio's brother Jose' saw Emilio's phone, so that makes 4 including you." "Well I'm glad you trust me, Koty." He stopped walking and looked at me with those deep ocean blue eyes. He spread is arms and I embraced him in the tightest hug I've ever had. I could tell that this was more than just a brotherly hug. It had started raining again, so it felt like we were in a movie. After what seemed like forever, but was actually only about 2 minutes, we let go of each other. Since we were just around the corner from my house, we took off running, hitting every rain puddle we saw. Once we got in the front door, I turned to find Sean soaking wet and said "Let's go get changed in my room." He followed me upstairs, and I got out a pair of Playboy shorts and a Volcom T-shirt. I threw them on the bed for Sean. He took off his wet T-shirt, revealing his sexy body. He had a six pack that was enough to be very sexy, but not too much that he looked like he had no life outside the gym. I made no effort to hide the fact that I was staring at him as he changed. He saw me staring and continued to unbutton his jeans (which were almost like skinny jeans by now with all the water). He dropped them, showing his boxers that were now clinging to his body. I could see that he, like me, had a semi forming. He slowly, and very sexily, slid down his boxers to his ankles. His dick looked about 4.5 inches semi-hard. His pubes were shaved, which turns me on like a light bulb. "No need for these anymore." He said as he threw his boxers into my clothes bin... ----- Tell me what you think. Please comment, and rate me 5 stars, please! Much love to all, Koty (P.S. thank you so much to my 2 consultants for helping me out through my rough spots. You know who you are...) __________________ Koty-14-M-USA I officially LOVE you, Dylan! This webpage is printed on 100% recycled electrons.

09-15-2011, 09:20 PM	#44
Kewai getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 372 Blog Entries: 8	Okay, First of I want to say that I loved the update. Second I want to say that I spent 5 minutes re-reading the passage looking for stuff that I would like to see improved, I couldn't see anything major but in my opinion I would love to see more description of feeling (touch and emotional) in things like the kiss or more description when they were getting undressed. But I loved it either way, Good Job __________________ 18/M/Bi/New Zealand

09-15-2011, 09:40 PM	#45
nuditydudity Distinguished Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Posts: 573	Great job with the new update! I really like the story. I like the amount of character development that you have, but be sure not to lose that detail when you write future chapters that move towards a sexier take on the story. That detail and info about what the characters are feeling helps make a story great. We'll like it more if we care about the characters themselves. So well done, and keep it up! __________________ 9 Years on getDare!! Sing like you know the lyrics Dance like no one is watching Live like you were dying Love like you've never been hurt before