[FICTION] The Trials of Sara and Jim - Part 1

[interesting]

[The finale to this storyline which I promised to some of you about a week ago.]

A few months ago, I was sitting alone in my room, working on a new literary project, a crime novel. I was trying to come up with an interesting story about a university teacher who becomes a witness to a murder, and must hide while the police try to catch the killers. I have been working on this project for months now.

There's a theory I learned in my classes about how writers come up with ideas. They say they delve into their own personal experiences and extrapolate from there. For example, my main character in that story is essentially a clone of myself, who evolves in a different direction because he is a thrust onto a different path.

Now, I have little or no criminal experience. My only true involvement with hte law was in small claims court, when I failed to prove that my roommate was stealing my stuff. I've never been arrested, never committed a major crime, never even entered a police precinct. All my knowledge is second hand. And yet, I'm still writing the novel.

I only bring this up because, a few months ago, I had no idea how far I could travel in terms of my own morality, of my own limits. New experiences transform the individual. I have experienced it first hand.

On the morning of January First, I was wide awake, naked under the covers, sleeping on a bunk bed with Sarah, my new girlfriend. My first thought was : I have to make it official somehow. As if all that had happened the night before was not official enough. I was still spent from the emotions, but the night had helped clear my head.

I barely remembered what had happened after we'd set up the bunk bed in the kitchen. I remember hearing discreet voices and sounds from the living room, where Sarah's friends Cassie, Claire and Jennifer were sleeping. Well, I believe they were doing a little more than sleeping at that time, but I was content to have Sarah lying against me. It was nice to have a private moment, even if that moment was in the middle of somebody else's kitchen.

I got up to go to the bathroom. My movement must have woken Sarah because her gaze followed me. I carried on with my business, washed my hands and when I came back to exit, Sarah was waiting on the other side. I tried to pass to let her go, but she motioned me back into the room. Still naked, she sat down on the bowl and carried on with her business. At that point, I knew she considered us an item.

Once she was done, she flushed and washed her hands. She then kissed me and sat me down on the side of the bath, a towel under me, while she lowered the cover and sat on it.

"Jim, I have... things to tell you. Important things. They might freak you out, or intimidate you, or downright scare you. I don't know. I think... I hope, you can handle it."

I leaned in and took her hands.

"Sarah, with everything's that's happened, I think I can handle pretty much anything at this point.
"You'd be surprised, but okay. I want you to promise me something.
"Sure.
"It's serious, Jim.
"Okay, what?
"Whatever reaction you have, you'll let me finish. I want to be honest with you, about everything."

At that point, I was becoming scared but I did my best not to show it. So many scenarios were playing around in my head that I did not know which one to grab hold of. But I cared for Sarah, so I nodded as sincerely as I could.

"All right, I promise."

She smiled.

"You remember how I told you I feel for you the first time I saw you?
"In the first class, yes, I remember.
"Well... I wasn't really passive all those weeks, waiting for the right time before I could ask you out...
"So?...
"I... did things during that time, dares involving you, challenges to get to know you..."

And Sarah started explaining what had happened during the semester. She first told me about the arrangement she'd made with Jennifer, and their eventual investigation of me. Then, she talked about the homeless man they'd hired to tail me. Of course, memories of these past weeks jumbled in my mind, and I remembered an incident with a homeless man and a treasure hunt. I said nothing for the moment. She told me how she'd gotten access to my file from the secretary office without going into too much detail. She talked about the candid pictures of me she'd taken across the semester and her conversations with my neighbor, Stella. She told me about a masturbation dare she'd done in class, but she was pretty evasive about it. Our study session and the subsequent visit to my home were also part of her investigation, and she admitted the 'water' incident was deliberate, something which I had suspected at the time. I had to intervene, if only to ask a question.

"You already had my adress... why did you have me write it on your stomach on our first date?
"Part of the games, I guess. You wrote it.
"I though you might have misplaced it, or forgotten."

She smiles, then carries on with her story. She then told me about the party she had with her friends during the week off, and how she had spilled the beans to them. She explained how she had asked them to avoid contact with me as best as possible. My memory raced again, and I remembered something at the grocery store, two girls making out. Claire and Cassie, I wondered? She confirmed. She told me about Jimmy, the bully in the park, a friend of Thomas. I was never in any real danger, she insisted. I had never actually felt really threatened anyway. She told me about Jennifer's treasure hunt. She stopped her narration and inquired about my fear of water, and how I had managed to overcome it during that particular stunt.

"Well, the mystery was just too much... and my head never actually went in the water. I'm fine as long as there are not too many waves and I keep the water above my waist.
"What about the pond?
"It's a closed body of water. Like a pool. It's the waves at the beach that I'm actually scared of."

She then started to speak of Barry and Bonnie's involvement, but all of a sudden, Sarah went silent.

"What is it?
"Are you all right, so far? I mean, do you understand? Are you mad?
"No... well, maybe a little upset, but nothing I can't get over. I mean, I understand why you kept your distance, it was inappropriate during the semester.
"Still.
"Sarah, I get it. I mean, I know how you are, I'm still learning of course, but... I understand. I mean, I wish I had half your passion. It's... flattering, in a creepy sort of way."

I tried to smile. It was unsettling to hear, of course, but I was sincere in my understanding. Given all that had transpired in the past week, all the intensity and the passion, I was amazed that Sarah had held on this long before making an official move.

"There's more... and I know the rest might make you angry.
"Why?
"Because of things you told me."

I sensed the hesitation in her voice and I sympathized, but I failed to understand what could actually make me angry. I decided not to look for answers within myself but instead let Sarah explain. I promised myself I would not get angry, whatever she said. I would take some time to digest whatever she told me.

"I... stole something from you.
"What?"

I had to hold it in. The anger was swelling, calling me back to a memory of court four years earlier. I took a deep breath and allowed Sarah to continue.

"Underwear. From your drawer... I was wearing them for the whole semester, whenever I went to your class."

I was both angry and flattered from her comment.

"When did you take it?
"When I visited you, before the week off. I'll give it back, it's at my place."

I closed my eyes and thought about her action. Was I right to be angry? She had been infatuated with me. The intent was entirely different. I still felt somewhat violated. But there were different circumstances.

"You can... keep it."

It took me a lot of courage to say that.

"But that's not all."

Now what, I asked myself. I wasn't sure I wanted to know more. I loved Sarah but something was swelling up inside. I realized that my anger was misdirected, I was reliving past events. I forced myself to set these thoughts aside and place Sarah's actions in context.

"I invaded your privacy again. When you weren't there.
"How?
"Well, it's complicated, but I managed to get in to your apartment."

I sensed Sarah's hesitation. She was trembling. The fear was overwhelming her and I had never seen her like this. How hard must it have been for her to come clean? She could have kept those secrets bottled up inside, it would have been easier for her in the short-term, if she wasn't committed to the relationship. Her admission of guilt was actually easing my nerves.

"Sarah, it's okay. Tell me everything."

The smooth and calm tone of my voice surprised me. She looked up, tried to break a smile, then continued.

"I got on your computer, looked at some of your stuff. I wanted to know about your fantasies, your goals, your dreams... It's strange, because, I never actually did anything like that before, I've never..."

She stopped talking. I put my arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"You don't have anything to be ashamed about, Sarah."

She lifted her gaze and met mine.

"I understand why you did what you did. I can't say I'm entirely thrilled about it, but I do get it. And what I appreciate is your honesty here. You're absolutely right to tell me. If I can't deal with it, then... we have no business being together."

I sensed her shaking in my arms.

"And Sarah...
"Yes?
"I can."

I kissed her. She kissed me back, then hugged me close.

"I'm sorry. I've never... and then..."

I hugged her against my chest and let her cool her nerves down.

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Anything?
"Be careful what you say, I might just hold you to it."

She smiled. She dried her eyes up. She wasn't crying but was close to it.

"Tell you what, Sarah. I forgive you, even if it's going to take me some time to wrap my head around everything you told me. You'll have to fill me on every detail, but not right now. Since you know so much about me, it seems only fair I know so much about you, right?
"Sounds fair."

We hugged again.

"Not that I mind being naked with you, but we should get dressed.
"Why?
"Because, I'm taking you out to brunch.
"What about the others?
"Right now, it's just you and me. We need to build from there. We can let them sleep in and give them the restaurant where we're going. They can join us there.
"Okay. Sounds good."

As we retrieved our clothing and got ready to go out, my mind wandered to my crime novel. The thought occured to me that it was not something I really wanted to write. I mean, sure, it was a good idea, but recent events had altered my perceptions of my life. Personal experience was starting to feel like a good starting for a story.

I started hashing out the details of my new, twisted, love story as we headed out the door.

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The End (for now)


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