Are desperate male subs driving female members away ???

[tomitis]

While I think that offering more temporary bans or ignoring options are effective, I think that it is a temporary fix to the whole situation.

As more people continue to visit the site and newer members get interested, the problem still remains: people won't check the guidelines, read the robot-generated introduction PM, or are unaware of their actions.

I think that if the community as a whole must raise awareness of the current situation. Threads like this helps those who are unaware such as I.
Unfortunately, I do not have a possible solution for those who harass via pm and/or ignore the limits and dislikes in the signature. I think those types of people would have disregarded the rules anyways and use anonymity as their advantage.

[hornyyoungslut]

Originally Posted by tomitis

While I think that offering more temporary bans or ignoring options are effective, I think that it is a temporary fix to the whole situation.

As more people continue to visit the site and newer members get interested, the problem still remains: people won't check the guidelines, read the robot-generated introduction PM, or are unaware of their actions.

I think that if the community as a whole must raise awareness of the current situation. Threads like this helps those who are unaware such as I.
Unfortunately, I do not have a possible solution for those who harass via pm and/or ignore the limits and dislikes in the signature. I think those types of people would have disregarded the rules anyways and use anonymity as their advantage.

The thing is: I don't want to have to continue ignore tons of users. It's an inconvenience to me.

Ignoring the limits within signatures is an issue, but is not huge. They can easily be confronted by saying "___ is a limit of mine" and reject the dare/task/etc. Harassment through PMs is becoming more of an issue each day and is affecting peoples' view of the site I'm afraid. (Hence, why this thread was created, regarding most women of the site quitting.)

[DJ-playmate]

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut

The thing is: I don't want to have to continue ignore tons of users. It's an inconvenience to me.

Ignoring the limits within signatures is an issue, but is not huge. They can easily be confronted by saying "___ is a limit of mine" and reject the dare/task/etc. Harassment through PMs is becoming more of an issue each day and is affecting peoples' view of the site I'm afraid. (Hence, why this thread was created, regarding most women of the site quitting.)

Quite frankly, when I meet someone here I want to know, we take it off the site.... using secondary e-mail and Skype addresses to communicate, or Kik if absolutely necessary. The real women are here, they just stay pretty stealthy and communicate with guys who put themselves out there as patient, well-spoken, and sincere.

[hornyyoungslut]

Originally Posted by DJ-playmate

Quite frankly, when I meet someone here I want to know, we take it off the site.... using secondary e-mail and Skype addresses to communicate, or Kik if absolutely necessary. The real women are here, they just stay pretty stealthy and communicate with guys who put themselves out there as patient, well-spoken, and sincere.

That is true, but not available for everyone. Personally, I never wanted to share my personal accounts with getDare users. I did not want to risk anyone tracking me down and being able to see my face, etc. Some people are like that as well, even with emails.

PMs are a great tool that is used everyday for tons of people but it is a very neglected section that needs some attention regarding the issues that it surfaces.

[TomLikesIt]

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut

That is true, but not available for everyone. Personally, I never wanted to share my personal accounts with getDare users. I did not want to risk anyone tracking me down and being able to see my face, etc. Some people are like that as well, even with emails.

PMs are a great tool that is used everyday for tons of people but it is a very neglected section that needs some attention regarding the issues that it surfaces.

That's what are secondary emails etc

I dont like PM's here too much, just because of the weird they get if you dont delete the previous reply. And if you do you need to go looking for the previous messages, and it's pretty tiring. Also the 15pms/hour limit is a bit too small

[hornyyoungslut]

Originally Posted by TomLikesIt

That's what are secondary emails etc

I dont like PM's here too much, just because of the weird they get if you dont delete the previous reply. And if you do you need to go looking for the previous messages, and it's pretty tiring. Also the 15pms/hour limit is a bit too small

... You're not getting my point. Emails in general, whether your primary or secondary, are a nono to some people. Some people are that paranoid of their identity being traced. They use PMs as a way of communication with users.

And it's 60pms/hour. They just do not want you to be spamming people with PMs.

[TomLikesIt]

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut

... You're not getting my point. Emails in general, whether your primary or secondary, are a nono to some people. Some people are that paranoid of their identity being traced. They use PMs as a way of communication with users.

And it's 60pms/hour. They just do not want you to be spamming people with PMs.

Oh, it's 60? I got PM's blocked after 15 once...

[DJ-playmate]

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut

That is true, but not available for everyone. Personally, I never wanted to share my personal accounts with getDare users. I did not want to risk anyone tracking me down and being able to see my face, etc. Some people are like that as well, even with emails.

I'm surprised how many people here don't realize you can create multiple anonymous Skype, email, Kik, etc., that have no personal information and are no more risky than having an account here.

[hornyyoungslut]

Originally Posted by Dr Jones

I find most requests a minor annoyance but have no qualms or problems just ignoring them. So many are from sad desperate boys who don't bother to make a genuine connection by starting with a greeting or checking my likes etc because they are not expecting a reply. Ah well. One can but laugh.

I've sent a few pms to people who look interesting to my purposes, hopefully these were not taken as spam but I had at least offered honest and polite comment and looked up the people before proceeding. As someone earlier said, there is a wealth to choose from and no reason to get caught up with the small fish. :-)

J&M

Well you have the least of the issues it seems like. Your account is a joint account of a male & a female, which draws people away from it, for some reason. Most joint accounts on here, in my opinion, don't get the turmoil that a single getDare account user gets. Several girls on here, including myself, are thankful for a day where they aren't harassed by desperate men & even women, begging and trying to force you into submitting or dominating them.

Some people can not take harassment as easy as you may be able to.

Originally Posted by DJ-playmate

I'm surprised how many people here don't realize you can create multiple anonymous Skype, email, Kik, etc., that have no personal information and are no more risky than having an account here.

Still paranoia is very prominent within new users, as they want communication to be strictly through PMs, and not using any other means of communication, even if it is "anonymous." I was that way and I've grown out of it a bit, but it is still there to an extent.

[sir stefan]

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut

Still paranoia is very prominent within new users, as they want communication to be strictly through PMs, and not using any other means of communication, even if it is "anonymous." I was that way and I've grown out of it a bit, but it is still there to an extent.

I can understand that paranoia, and to some extend its justified.
When setting up a gmail account on your phone it can very well accidentally happen that your real name gets attached to it.
I actually had that happen with a sub i was communicating with.
To be honest, i felt very guilty.
I had asked to switch to gmail after having used pm for a week or so, and then her real name showed up.
I never abused it, but i can soo very imagine how afraid she was... Especially since that happened after we we communicating for only 1 week.

Personally i strictly use my second gmail account via a browser different from my normal browser

[little pet]

The second I joined, I got showered with unsolicited pm's. Lot of male subs, but also wannabe masters thinking they've got the domination thing down by just being rude and obscene.

The thing that makes me want to bash my head into a brick wall is when I reply I'm not interested in owning any of them because my sig clearly states I have an owner, and they answer something like: "oh well, just thought I'd give it a try"... really? Are they that dumb?

It's like it's open hunting season with these guys all the time. When will they learn that desperate is the most unattractive feature.

[Kell]

I was literally thinking this maybe less than a month ago. I had a time where when I was messaging people and getting to know others, I just saw a massive ration of (m/sub/--) or whatever. And just had a feeling like. I honestly do now feel sorry for all the females that just want to enjoy this site. But with so many guys just being subs and whatnot, it's scaring a lot of females away with as stated before, all the "Please be my mistress" etc etc. I mean sure, no harm in guys being subs by all means. But so, 'so' many are just straight up rude and abusive about it because it didn't go how they wanted it. And yet half the time it's just because they want to get their jollies off or something.. Just my 2c worth on this anyways~

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

As you can see form my signature, I do get annoyed by these kind of messages. I have been sent nude photos as well as desperate please to be a mistress. I don't think I have to deal with this as much as other female users do, but I do find that when I do have to deal with it, I get annoyed and then I am not pleasant for a time following. I tend to go into B**** mode and handle it that way, or I simply choose not to respond. Either way, I think the behavior is uncalled for and it can be happening on both sides.

If you know how a woman is when she goes through the dating process, I feel that is how some of us on here figure out the guys we want to talk to and the people we may eventually want to have a d/s relationship if we want one at all.

Also as a person who is not looking for anything due to the time constraints in my life, assuming everyone on this site is either a dom, sub, a switch, or some version there of, is the wrong assumption to make. My original interest in this site was just because I wanted to try some things that I have not really tried before and I wanted to have another person involved so that I didn't have to keep coming up with dares and tasks for myself. My intention when joining was not to form a d/s relationship, it was mainly to learn, read, and try new things.

As far as preventing this though, I agree with others. I do not think there is an effective way to get rid of this problem especially when people do not read signatures and rules. I tried the red text in hopes that it would persuade people against contacting me throughout pm, but it has also limited the contact with people that I have at the same time.

[Joker50]

Wow, did I ever open a can of worms, but in my opinion it needed opening.

I have just flash read the on going conversation and although it has wondered around a bit, it is noticeable that not a single mod has replied but, that doesn't mean they are not reading this thread.

Create your own button, I didn't know I could. I am not computer literate when it comes to creating things and that why it takes me forever to do anything. With respect there will be males and females just like me on this site.

An auto reply f.o. and die message sounds fun and it was suggested it was simple code. I will beg to be unclear as to how that is done.

I also didn't know that you have the option to report someone but as I understand it, you have to access someones profile to do it.

I saw the idea that when someone joins they have to wait a few days or a couple of weeks to be able to pm. I liked this but as was pointed out it wouldn't bother those we are trying to discourage and probably put off those we want.

None of us want the site to be a pay site, it does work well, so why not have the idea of volunteer mods. There are people who are on the site everyday.
I am not saying give them the power that the mods who work for the site get but make them available to be able to help out when any female newbie or long term member starts getting hassled. Perhaps a signing in thread to show that they are on site and available ?

Alternatively have a simple name and shame thread to which names of people who send these messages are added?