The Invisible Boy [FICTION]

admireu4ever · 11-25-2007, 06:30 PM

Part One:The Fall

Mike was only fifteen, he was an average looking young man. He had his fair share of fantasies, but what normal minded fifteen yearold didn't? It was a normal school day, he had been walking down the street on his way to his first morning class. As he arrived on the scene of school he had tripped, as he fell he had hit his head, blood went gushing out. He felt faint and then saw man walk up to him. Mike closed his eyes as then he woke up.
As he opened his eyes, he felt his bed and looked around to see his room. "Oh, it was only a dream he said. As he stepped out of bed." the clock had been buzzing for a few minutes now. He turned it off then walked to the shower. He took his clothes off, without looking at himself he just did it with thinking everything was as it normally was. As he walked past the mirror he was greeted by a strange reflection, he saw nothing.
"Holy Crap!" he said as he attempted to look at his body, but he found nothing. Mike took a deep breath and put his clothes back on, it would appear that only he was invisble and if he was wearing clothes then he would be seen. He was home alone for the week, his parents had gone on trips to various parts of the nation. Mike tried thinking..."Well, it might just be like a one day thing. Maybe I could have some fun." he also thought "Well, maybe I should tell my parents, but they will never belive me until they see me..or...not see me..." His mind had been made, he'd spend the day as a invisible boy. Or maybe the week. Or maybe...his entire life.

admireu4ever · 11-25-2007, 06:46 PM

Part Two:School

Mike had stripped down to nothing, and nobody could see him. He walked out into the cold winter night. He had walked to his school like he normally did. When he arrived outside of the school he had found a group of his friends.
"So, somebody told me Mike is gay. Isn't that crazy?" one of the guys Mike didn't like so much said. Mike had been offended by this comment and he had walked up to the boy and took his foot and kicked him in the balls. The boy fell to the ground crying in pain. Two of the others boys went to help him, the other three started laughing.
The boys walk into school and Mike follows, he arrives in his morning class and he takes his seat like normal. "Good Morning Class, today we are going to be learning about the magical world of math." the teacher said in his boring and dull voice. Mike stands up and walks towards the teacher. He undo's the teachers belt and pulls down his pants. He then pulls down the teachers underwear aswell. The entire class stares as the teachers penis is shown to the entire class. It is super hard at this point and the entire class is laughing. The teacher pulls his boxers back up and sends around ten children to detention.
The teacher finishes his class then the students walk out. Mike walks into the Girl's Lockeroom and watches as the 9th graders undress. He walks over to one female named Samantha who is one of the hottest girls in school. He reaches his hands to her shirt. He tears it right off and then undoes her bra. At this point she is scared. Mike grabs her mouth and begins to play with her breast he sucks them and fianlly lets her go. She gasps for air and everyone looks at her and her hard nipples.

-----------
I hope you enjoy it so far...I got alot more ideas coming.

HSsportsstar 1 · 11-25-2007, 06:52 PM

keep writing i always wondered what it would be liek to be invisible. Is there any chance that u can add a little more detail to the parts and make them longer. it would make the story a 100 times better

DareByrd · 11-25-2007, 06:53 PM

yea it would be better if just a little more detail was added sportsstar...but other than that its a pretty good story

JMOB · 11-25-2007, 06:54 PM

ah, another one of my fantasies. GO FOR IT MAN

molten man · 11-25-2007, 09:15 PM

Lovely story!! Excellent

admireu4ever · 11-25-2007, 10:35 PM

I should have another part tonight...

Love,
Me

molten man · 11-25-2007, 11:40 PM

Keep em coming!!

admireu4ever · 11-29-2007, 10:35 PM

Part Three:The Lockeroom Revenge

Mike runs out of the Girl's Room and then walks into the Boys Lockeroom. He looks around and see's the school bully. He walks up to the bully and pulls down his pants, he then screams and all the boys look. They all see this small penis and everyone laughs. The girls come running out of there lockeroom to see what happend and everyone see's the bully nude.

Part Four:The Bathroom

Mike walks out knowing that as the camera phones flash the bullies life will be ruined. Mike seemed happy about this and wanted to make himself even happier. Mike had walked into the girl bathroom. He walked up to a girl named Madison who was one of the hottest girls at the school. He then crawls below her skirt and he starts to finger her. She reaches down when she feels the finger and then Mike rushes up and grabs her and locks her in a stall. He then takes off her clothes and begins to fuck her. As he slid his penis inside the girl could not help but enjoy this crazy event. For the next few minutes his penis went in and out. Finally he had cummed. He then grabbed all of Madison's clothes and threw them out the window. He grabbed Madison and threw her out into the hallway and the last class just had gotten out. Once again the photo cameras went click.

ManicD · 11-30-2007, 08:49 AM

this has to be one of teh worst written stories i have read and considering i belong to another teenage forum for several years i have read some pretty shit stories

Sum · 11-30-2007, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManicD

this has to be one of teh worst written stories i have read and considering i belong to another teenage forum for several years i have read some pretty shit stories

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=5879 <-- read this

--
edit
--
It's also not the worst story i've read on here, just a little lacking on detail. I think some bits on how the characters reacted more would be good, what they thought was going on etc.
Also ManicD you complain about my story because it's too detailed, you complain about this i assume because it's not detailed enough.
So you clearly thing you can write so i here by challenge you to post your own story, if you're this critical of others it's going to be perfect isn't it.

admireu4ever · 11-30-2007, 10:07 PM

Alright,

If you think it isn't a good story that's cool. This story is officaly closed and I'm sorry you disliked this work of mine. I understand I lack detail in some area's but I have about 4 stories I'm working on and I felt as if I just wanted to put a chapter or two out so you guys could have a little somthing.

-Tessdog

molten man · 11-30-2007, 10:23 PM

Come on. U cam continue and maybe improve!!

Smile Guy · 12-01-2007, 04:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by admireu4ever

Alright,

If you think it isn't a good story that's cool. This story is officaly closed and I'm sorry you disliked this work of mine. I understand I lack detail in some area's but I have about 4 stories I'm working on and I felt as if I just wanted to put a chapter or two out so you guys could have a little somthing.

-Tessdog

Tess, don't get moody just because one person criticised it. Continue to the best of your ability... it is good.

Sum · 12-01-2007, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by admireu4ever

Alright,

If you think it isn't a good story that's cool. This story is officaly closed and I'm sorry you disliked this work of mine. I understand I lack detail in some area's but I have about 4 stories I'm working on and I felt as if I just wanted to put a chapter or two out so you guys could have a little somthing.

-Tessdog

Yeah, don't be discouraged because someone went off about it, that guy seems to have had a go about several stories. I don't see him posting his own though.

11-25-2007, 06:30 PM	#1
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	The Invisible Boy [FICTION] Part One:The Fall Mike was only fifteen, he was an average looking young man. He had his fair share of fantasies, but what normal minded fifteen yearold didn't? It was a normal school day, he had been walking down the street on his way to his first morning class. As he arrived on the scene of school he had tripped, as he fell he had hit his head, blood went gushing out. He felt faint and then saw man walk up to him. Mike closed his eyes as then he woke up. As he opened his eyes, he felt his bed and looked around to see his room. "Oh, it was only a dream he said. As he stepped out of bed." the clock had been buzzing for a few minutes now. He turned it off then walked to the shower. He took his clothes off, without looking at himself he just did it with thinking everything was as it normally was. As he walked past the mirror he was greeted by a strange reflection, he saw nothing. "Holy Crap!" he said as he attempted to look at his body, but he found nothing. Mike took a deep breath and put his clothes back on, it would appear that only he was invisble and if he was wearing clothes then he would be seen. He was home alone for the week, his parents had gone on trips to various parts of the nation. Mike tried thinking..."Well, it might just be like a one day thing. Maybe I could have some fun." he also thought "Well, maybe I should tell my parents, but they will never belive me until they see me..or...not see me..." His mind had been made, he'd spend the day as a invisible boy. Or maybe the week. Or maybe...his entire life.

11-25-2007, 06:46 PM	#2
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	Part Two:School Part Two:School Mike had stripped down to nothing, and nobody could see him. He walked out into the cold winter night. He had walked to his school like he normally did. When he arrived outside of the school he had found a group of his friends. "So, somebody told me Mike is gay. Isn't that crazy?" one of the guys Mike didn't like so much said. Mike had been offended by this comment and he had walked up to the boy and took his foot and kicked him in the balls. The boy fell to the ground crying in pain. Two of the others boys went to help him, the other three started laughing. The boys walk into school and Mike follows, he arrives in his morning class and he takes his seat like normal. "Good Morning Class, today we are going to be learning about the magical world of math." the teacher said in his boring and dull voice. Mike stands up and walks towards the teacher. He undo's the teachers belt and pulls down his pants. He then pulls down the teachers underwear aswell. The entire class stares as the teachers penis is shown to the entire class. It is super hard at this point and the entire class is laughing. The teacher pulls his boxers back up and sends around ten children to detention. The teacher finishes his class then the students walk out. Mike walks into the Girl's Lockeroom and watches as the 9th graders undress. He walks over to one female named Samantha who is one of the hottest girls in school. He reaches his hands to her shirt. He tears it right off and then undoes her bra. At this point she is scared. Mike grabs her mouth and begins to play with her breast he sucks them and fianlly lets her go. She gasps for air and everyone looks at her and her hard nipples. ----------- I hope you enjoy it so far...I got alot more ideas coming.

11-25-2007, 06:53 PM	#4
DareByrd getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 341	yea it would be better if just a little more detail was added sportsstar...but other than that its a pretty good story __________________ 26/m/sub Gay Kik me at dkb1992 Likes: orgasm denial, hypno, rules, dares, games of chance, occasionally chastity. Very open minded otherwise Limits: public, friends and family, blackmail, feminization, illegal, permanent damage, messy, scat

11-25-2007, 09:15 PM	#6
molten man Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 946	Lovely story!! Excellent __________________ MMan 26/m/straight Skype: molten_man007 Kik: molten_man

11-25-2007, 11:40 PM	#8
molten man Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 946	Keep em coming!! __________________ MMan 26/m/straight Skype: molten_man007 Kik: molten_man

11-25-2007, 06:52 PM	#3
HSsportsstar 1 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: in my house Posts: 115	keep writing i always wondered what it would be liek to be invisible. Is there any chance that u can add a little more detail to the parts and make them longer. it would make the story a 100 times better

11-25-2007, 06:54 PM	#5
JMOB Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: up your bum Posts: 48	ah, another one of my fantasies. GO FOR IT MAN

11-25-2007, 10:35 PM	#7
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	I should have another part tonight... Love, Me

11-29-2007, 10:35 PM	#9
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	Part Three:The Lockeroom Revenge Mike runs out of the Girl's Room and then walks into the Boys Lockeroom. He looks around and see's the school bully. He walks up to the bully and pulls down his pants, he then screams and all the boys look. They all see this small penis and everyone laughs. The girls come running out of there lockeroom to see what happend and everyone see's the bully nude. Part Four:The Bathroom Mike walks out knowing that as the camera phones flash the bullies life will be ruined. Mike seemed happy about this and wanted to make himself even happier. Mike had walked into the girl bathroom. He walked up to a girl named Madison who was one of the hottest girls at the school. He then crawls below her skirt and he starts to finger her. She reaches down when she feels the finger and then Mike rushes up and grabs her and locks her in a stall. He then takes off her clothes and begins to fuck her. As he slid his penis inside the girl could not help but enjoy this crazy event. For the next few minutes his penis went in and out. Finally he had cummed. He then grabbed all of Madison's clothes and threw them out the window. He grabbed Madison and threw her out into the hallway and the last class just had gotten out. Once again the photo cameras went click.

11-30-2007, 08:49 AM	#10
ManicD Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 97	this has to be one of teh worst written stories i have read and considering i belong to another teenage forum for several years i have read some pretty shit stories

11-30-2007, 10:07 PM	#12
admireu4ever Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 152 Blog Entries: 1	Alright, If you think it isn't a good story that's cool. This story is officaly closed and I'm sorry you disliked this work of mine. I understand I lack detail in some area's but I have about 4 stories I'm working on and I felt as if I just wanted to put a chapter or two out so you guys could have a little somthing. -Tessdog

11-30-2007, 10:23 PM	#13
molten man Distinguished Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Mumbai, India Posts: 946	Come on. U cam continue and maybe improve!! __________________ MMan 26/m/straight Skype: molten_man007 Kik: molten_man