TPE, your thoughts and experiences

[Blahweblah]

TPE, or Total Power Exchange, is when you completely submit your life (sexually or otherwise) to your top.
This either comes with pre-negotiated boundaries or safewords, or no limits at all.

I've been thinking about this idea for a while.
Even though I'm definitely a switch, the idea of having someone wrapped around my pinky; who obeys every command, sexual or otherwise; who follows rules and tasks to the letter greatly excites me.

If I need to fulfill my sub side, I'll just get a domme to top both of us. Cuckquean situations also sound amazing.

1. Have you ever been in a TPE relationship? If so, explain?

2. Have you ever thought of entering a TPE relationship? Dom or sub?

3. If you have, what was the thing you liked the most? If not, what excites you the most?

4. If you have, what was the thing you hated the most? If not, what scares you the most?

[BarefootAlien]

Originally Posted by Blahweblah

1. Have you ever been in a TPE relationship? If so, explain?

I actually have been in that sort of relationship, though not physically. I've known quite a few slaves in my life online, and when I was younger, I was much more submissive than I am now. I do a lot of roleplaying, both erotic and otherwise, mostly by text online, though sometimes voice. One RP partner I learned was a real-life master. He was deep in the life and quite well-off, as a doctor.

He'd been trained by another experienced master, and hadn't found the right slave or pet yet for him. He did, however, sometimes train slaves for other doms. They'd pay him upwards of $20,000 for the privilege of moving into his house and being trained either as a pet or a slave, as their preference, in a 90-day program.

Well, we really hit it off. We really liked each other. I liked the idea of being a pet a -lot-, and with my disabilities, if I was ever gonna have an owner, a doctor was the only possible fit. Only a doctor could truly ever understand how to not harm me with basic stuff any normal sub could handle just fine.

So, though I had no money to pay him with, and though he'd never tried training a sub online, he agreed to a trial basis. If it went well for six months, he said he would pay to move me and my partner in with him, and support us both, with me as his pet, and my partner as his roommate. It was really about as ideal as such a situation could possibly be, to accommodate a full adult with an established life.

He helped me a lot... got me losing weight, safely, substituting my will, which on the matter of weight loss, is weak, with his own. I could do it for Master. He helped face me into some deep psychological and emotional issues as well, and I credit him to this day with helping me overcome one of my core complexes.

Ultimately it didn't work out. It was nobody's fault... the truth was, I'm not slave or pet material. I know now that while I take solace and refuge in submitting, I also get power and confidence from dominating. When I -do- submit, I still need to retain some control. Maybe it's an artifact from my innate fear that one wrong move could cause me weeks of agony, maybe it's just a core part of who I am, but I'm just too assertive to be a pet. I just wish it had ended more amicably than it did...

As a side note, he actually got a trainee part way through my own training, which made me insanely jealous... even moreso since that trainee turned out to be 'the one' who he decided to keep forever instead of 'selling' on at the end. That didn't mean I couldn't be 'another one', but it was a strain, I'll admit. I actually met the trainee, and quite liked him. But the contrast between his attitude and personality and my own made it even more starkly apparent that there was a real, fundamental difference between him, a natural, happy slave, and me.

Originally Posted by Blahweblah

2. Have you ever thought of entering a TPE relationship? Dom or sub?

Well... yes and no. My one experience with it taught me that I am not the right personality type to be a TPE sub... and there's no way I can physically, financially, or emotionally support one of my own the way he would deserve and need. It's a very serious commitment, rather akin in my mind to having a child, which is another thing I know I cannot do.

I did offer to train one once... but I had to be open and honest up front that it could never go beyond online, and he (probably wisely) declined. Plus he was an old friend, and that would've been all kinds of awkward.

So, I get what I need in submission and give what I can in domination, primarily through RP, but also to a smaller extent through this site. I can't really do dares anymore for various reasons, sadly... so I was inactive for several years. But lately I've been enjoying creating dares as a sort of dominant creative exercise. I hope people appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Blahweblah

3. If you have, what was the thing you liked the most? If not, what excites you the most?

The raw honesty of it was the most exciting and awe-inspiring thing. The absolute power of the emotions involved, as my master pushed me deeper and deeper into both submission and into self-exploration, helping reveal to me parts of myself that were both painful and exhilarating to start to gain control over through his borrowed strength and will... there's been nothing else remotely like it, before or since.

Originally Posted by Blahweblah

4. If you have, what was the thing you hated the most? If not, what scares you the most?

What I hated the most was actually sort of two things that are intimately related into one sort of general concept.

First, and relationship-endingly, was the fact that in order to -be- my master, he had to trust his own judgement above my own. This was inherent. But sometimes my own judgement was, in my opinion, either impeccable, or not something I could find myself willing to relinquish. The final straw was when he insisted that while he would let me go barefoot almost everywhere (an immense compromise I should have been more grateful for), as I do now, he would require me to wear shoes in his pottery studio, or forbid me to partake in that side of his life (his main hobby and passion). I found this utterly silly; humans have been making pottery for tens of thousands of years, -mostly- without footwear. My feet are seasoned and experienced, my pads thick and leathery, and I have eyes to watch where I step.

He would not budge on the issue... and neither would I. And this sparked the fight that ultimately lead us both to realize that I couldn't be a slave or pet. I'm just too stubborn and strong-willed. When I think or "know" I'm right, there's just no way to bulldoze through me and make me submit. You have to prove me wrong, with science and rational discourse, and in this case he simply didn't have the experience and knowledge that I do after most of a lifetime studying the barefoot lifestyle, and living it almost full-time.

The second part was deeper and more fundamental, and an argument we had several times as things became more unstable toward the end, before he disowned me. He believed (probably correctly) that a fundamental duty of a TPE master is to protect his pet or slave from the world in every way. Thus he forbade me from watching or discussing the news. While something he could enforce in person, online he could only state the forbiddance and trust me to obey.

I really disliked this aspect. I am not a delicate snowflake. I don't hide from the world. One of my core driving personality traits is a desire to -learn-, to -know-. To me it felt like he was trying to isolate me from the very knowledge that defines who and what I am. Oh, I don't care about political stuff all that much, but not to learn the latest science? It goes against the core of my soul, in a way that I didn't truly come to understand until just recently, many years later.

Originally Posted by Blahweblah

I've been thinking about this idea for a while.
Even though I'm definitely a switch, the idea of having someone wrapped around my pinky; who obeys every command, sexual or otherwise; who follows rules and tasks to the letter greatly excites me.

And finally some advice. You might think you being a switch is a problem. I don't. If you're ready and able to take on the kind of commitment I described, I think the truth is that -most- masters, and almost all of the good ones, are switches. In order to truly get inside the mind of a submissive, one must be able to submit himself. In fact, this was a core aspect of my former master's own training. When I said he trained under a master... I don't mean in some sort of smoking-jacket-wearing good-ole-boy's-club sort of master-master training.

He was trained as a slave. The full deal. Cages, leashes, collars, chores and duties, punishments, all of it, even knowing the end goal was to become a master. In order to be an effective master, he had to know what it was to be a slave.

In that way, the fact that you are a switch is actually ideal, and not a problem at all.

If you are -serious- about this, in the way that my master and I were serious, just make sure you're ready to basically adopt an adult child. It's that level of responsibility and investment. It can make both of you profoundly happy, just as a child can, but it can also ruin both of your lives.

If you're more just looking for the sort of cheesy "dare slave" that people on here have, well... have fun and just don't take it too seriously so nobody gets too butthurt.


P.S. If you want to talk more about this, PM me, and we can connect via Discord.