Is this for real? :''(

[CuddleRainbowz]

Hello,
Well I am extremely depressed and sad at the moment. Sorry to grumble but I am. At the moment, I am sitting at my mother's house, in the attic, totally distraught.
This morning I was at my house and me and my Boyfriend (Also Dom but more boyfriend) were having a little row. We always have these silly little rows about random things; This time, it was about him always checking out other girls. We had talked about this hundreds of times before and it always ended up with a sorry and a cuddle. Usually followed by a lie down on the sofa with him happy again. For some unknown reason he got more angry than usual and started pointing out bad things about me. Saying I'm stupid and ugly. Of course I tried to calm him down. I gave him a hug and he pushed me away. He told me he was tired of how protective I was. He swore and I swore back. He ended up storming off to our bedroom. I made myself a coffee and just wondered what had happened. Our fights were never this big!

An hour later, he came back and was fine. He cuddled me and everything was much more happy. We ended up going upstairs and had an hours kip and the other thing couples do in bed...
Everything was fine. He even told me that he loved me and that he would never leave me.

About another hour later, whilst I was in the kitchen, he had a change of heart. He brought back up the conversation again. He got angry, very angry. He smashed a few plates and really scared me. He was always this nice gentle man with a dominant side. But not an angry disruptive side.

I told him I was scared and that I was going over to my mother's for a couple of hours to calm down. He told me that going to my mother's was leaving him. I argued that I wanted him to calm down. Which he did in a couple of seconds. He calmly told me that he was fine and that he was sorry. But in a matter of minutes got angry again and told me to leave. He threw me some of my stuff (Laptop, phone and other important things). He told me he does not love me any more.

His word is always final. He's not going to get back with me. I miss him so much and I love him. He was my rock and my soul. All I have now is broken memories. I can't believe what has happened. What should I do? What do you think will happen? Do you think he might get back with me? Should I say no if he asks? Should I back down? Please please help me.....

I am utterly and totally ruined. Remember: I have been with this guy for 3 years. We have talked about children and getting married. I know I am 18 but all of this is deadly serious. We have lived together practically since my 18th birthday.

Now its all gone....Just like that.


Thanks for reading,
Cuddles xxxx